Marriage-help

Can A Celebrity Crush Sex Up Your Marriage?

Do celebrity crushes perform an important role as a marital and/or sex aid in our lives, or are they a dangerous precursor to a jail sentence for stalking? I jest, of course, with the latter, for celebrity crushes have long been a driving force in teenage, and even adult, lives for generations.

In grade three, I was so besotted with Michael Jackson, I lovingly adorned all my school folders with glorious images of the late King of Pop. Then, Thriller happened and I had to dump Michael’s arse, for those iconic posters were far too scary for the likes of mini-me. Poor, late MJ.

celebrity crush, pretend boyfriend, relationships

Related: Which Celebrity Tops The ‘Cheat List’

Next up, I’ve had the longest love affair of my life – albeit a frustratingly unrequited one, from afar – with U2 frontman Bono (main image), who replaced MJ in my heart when, as a teenager, I discovered the band’s iconic hit album, The Joshua Tree. That voice; his passion for social justice; and his long, dark hair and Celtic good looks had me captivated. Indeed, I still find the aging rock star somewhat swoon-worthy despite his band’s recent Apple album-sharing debacle.

Today, my modern muse – or celebrity crush of the moment – is actor Rupert Friend’s broody, elite CIA black-ops agent character Peter Quinn (pictured below), in Homeland. He’s like James Bond, but with a soul. Swoon.

And I swear I am singlehandedly carrying the Homeland fan base here in Australia and my husband dutifully downloads (legally) episodes for me to watch well after the shows have aired, given they’re now shown ridiculously late on TV, too late for an exhausted mum of two toddlers, seemingly due to aforementioned lack of popularity.

I can’t get enough of Quinn’s amazing cheekbones, which could cut glass; his unrequited feelings for Carrie, the show’s female lead; and his dashing, man-of-action modern-day spy with a conscience.

celebrity crush, pretend boyfriend, relationships

So, do you have a pretend boyfriend, too? Who takes your fancy? And is a celebrity crush a good fantasy tool in a long-term relationship, or does it spell disaster for you and your significant other?

Relationship experts say celebrity crushes are common and should not be kept secret from your partner. Instead, you can actually boost your sex life by talking to your beloved about who floats your boat, erm aside from them, that is.

It’s all part of using fantasy role playing to sex up our love lives, so long as you don’t alienate your partner, experts insist. So, how do you do that? Keep it light, safe and fun by sharing the fantasy of someone unattainable with your partner – chances are, for example, I’m not going to bump into super-sexy Quinn any time soon (bugger).

And my husband, who has a cute crush on a certain very attractive celebrity (whom we’ve both met) isn’t likely to be socialising with her again anytime soon, phew (or this lifetime, I hope).

And here’s the all-important bit – relationship experts say you don’t want to be telling your significant other your sexy daydreams about the personal trainer you’re seeing twice weekly. Now, that’d be both stupid and dangerous. It’s got to be someone so ridiculously famous you’d actually probably drop dead from shock/excitement if you met them in real life.

What do you think? Do you have a celebrity crush?

Main image via www.cerveaux.dk; MJ image via www.ebay.com and Quinn image via www.sho.com.

November 6, 2014

How to Get the Most Out of Marriage Counselling

If you and your partner are considering divorce, maybe you should try getting professional relationship advice in the form of marriage counselling first. Also known as couples therapy, this form of marriage guidance can give both of you valuable insights into the troubles plaguing your relationship. Here are some ways counselling could save your marriage.

Identify the problem(s)

You may think the only thing wrong with your marriage is your partner’s long hours at the office or the way he avoids your family, but in most cases, there are issues on both sides, and couples therapy can help you to identify them. Both of you will need to speak up and say what’s bothering you — and listen when your partner does the same. It’s necessary for both partners to agree that there are problems in the relationship as well as acknowledge that they’re part of them.

Be willing to change

It takes two to tango, and it takes cooperation by both parties to repair a damaged marriage. To get the most out of marriage counselling, you must own your part of the conflict and be willing to make the behavioural changes necessary to get the relationship back on track. Each of you must be able to say, “Our marriage is worth saving, and I’ll meet you halfway.”

Have realistic expectations

Some couples expect instant results when they go in for marriage help. Well, sadly things don’t work that way, because you can’t walk into the therapist’s office, toss your credit card on their desk and say, “Fix my marriage now.” Your marriage counsellor does not have a vial of magic fairy dust that they can sprinkle over both of you and instantly solve all of your problems.

Both of you will have to be patient and willing to work on saving your marriage. You must invest time and effort into making your relationship work. Focus on the goal of a lasting marriage in which both partners are happy.

The fact that you’re seeking relationship advice and marriage help is a sign that both of you are serious about staying together and building a new, more solid relationship. A skilled marriage counsellor can help you navigate the stormy waters of a relationship in trouble, but both partners must be willing to put aside past hurts and concentrate on negotiating a more positive partnership. With the right help and a lot of determination, you may be able to make your marriage stronger than ever.

Have you ever tried marriage counselling?

September 25, 2013