Online-dating

8 Cryptic Text Messages Men Send And What They REALLY Mean

“Hey, stranger” = “I just saw that selfie you posted, and despite ignoring you for five months, I’m bored and hoping you’ll have sex.”

Modern Dating Is Killing My Faith In Humanity

Excuse me, but when did dating get this bad?

29 Screenshots That Prove Tinder Is Hell On Earth

“Just so you know, I won’t date anyone over 125 pounds.”

I Went On 20 Dates In One Night And It Destroyed My Ego

Twenty dates in one night felt like a lot considering I’d only been on one date for the last six months.

An After-Sex Joke Brought My Date To An Abrupt End

Note to self: Don’t always offer second chances.

I Confronted The Guy Who Ghosted Me. Here’s What Happened.

The date went so well. So, what went wrong? I had to find out.

Why I Call Men Out On Their BS On Tinder

If it’s not okay in person, it’s not okay.

Why Too Much Chemistry Can Be Dangerous

That instant connection could blow up in your face.

I Tried To Get Laid Using Pokemon Go But All I Got Was A Skinned Knee

Pokémon Go: the latest and most dangerous form of online dating.

How Online Dating Is Turning Us All Into Bigots

There’s a niche dating app for everyone.

Say Hello To The Dating Site Exclusively For ‘White People’

Because we should steer people in the ‘white’ direction.

Ask Kim: Is He Just Not That Into Me?

SHESAID resident psychologist Kim Chartres answers your most awkward and confronting questions.

17 WTF Messages Guys Sent On Tinder

Online dating just got even worse…

Worst Date EVER? Guy Asks For $5 Refund After Being Rejected

“Can you pay me back for the coffee? I don’t like wasting my money.”

13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop. IMMEDIATELY.

An unsolicited pic of your penis on our phone = instant fail.

Online Dating Vs Traditional Dating

History tells us, that for as long as romantic relationships have existed, people have sought help in finding them. From centuries old arranged marriages and matchmaking clubs through to personal ads and well-intentioned-friend-orchestrated blind dates.

And more recently, yet unsurprisingly, modern technology has been enlisted as the new cupid.

RELATED: The Single Girl’s Guide to Online Dating 

But with the internet‘s irruption into modern relationships, you have to wonder: has the internet changed the way we date, and is online dating better than traditional dating?

The answer to the first part of the question is simple, and relationship experts agree – the way we date has changed. Dramatically. No longer are we confined to love matches being sought from within our existing social or professional networks. No longer are we bound by geography to find our perfect match. The internet crashes through these barriers and opens a deeper pool of potential partners.

Not only has the internet broadened the love pool, but it has also changed the way in which we seek a partner.  We no longer rely on those who intimately know us to help select our other half. Instead, we place our romantic fate in the hands of computer systems and algorithms designed to monitor our dating behaviour and preferences.

And to a certain degree, with online dating, we no longer ‘choose our chase’ based purely on the physical, as we would when spotting a love interest across the room. Instead, online dating offers a brief snapshot into the life of another in the form of a profile, which at least initially allows us to connect on a more cerebral rather than physical level.

But with the many (seemingly beneficial) changes brought about by the internet, is online dating actually better than traditional dating?

On this, the jury is out. And the debate centres around communication, chemistry and commitment.

Communicating online is not always as straightforward as it seems, and sometimes, through lengthy emails and texts, a false intimacy between strangers can develop, leading to unrealistic love expectations.  The only way for online daters to really know if they will be good together, is to meet on a traditional date, face-to-face.

Which brings us to chemistry. With a slew of profiles on offer, the catalogue style of online dating can create a ‘shop around’ mentality. Many online dating websites allow the user to specify height, body shape, hair and even the eye colour of their potential mate, and it becomes tempting to by-pass any profiles that don’t meet your criteria. But chemistry is more complex than physicality alone, and if you were to meet on a more traditional date, perhaps the charms of a person would give you reason to take a second look.

Which brings us to commitment. The act of browsing large numbers of profiles can lead online daters to view each other less as people and more as one opportunity amongst the many, which in turn can reduce their willingness to commit. Simply put, we no longer take the time to get to know one another, especially when our next date is only a few profiles away.

So while the debate of online dating vs traditional dating plays on in the background of life, I offer my opinion. In your search for the good life, do both – use online dating as part of your overall approach to love. But remember, no romantic pen-pals! The ultimate goal is to take your dating offline.

I did, and so far so good. So very, very good.

Image via Pixabay.com

Dating And Social Media: Have We Gone Too Far?

I like social media as much as the next person. However, a while ago I had a conversation about it with my father that proved more enlightening than I planned. I was texting this guy, but kept putting my iPhone down for 15 minutes between messages. Dad noticed, and asked me why.

RELATED: Throwback Thursday: How To Survive First Date Horror Stories

“I don’t want to seem too keen,” I replied, not taking my eyes off the clock.

“I don’t get it; you like him, why don’t you call him?” Dad continued.

“Because that’s weird,” I answered, still glued to the time. Only 5 minutes to go.

“How is it weird to talk to someone you like?” the wise man asked, genuinely puzzled.

“Dad, that’s just what Generation Y does. It’s why I didn’t accept his friend request for 24 hours.”

“Oh come on! Why does your generation play these games?”

“Because…because we have to!” It was out of my mouth before I could stop it; even for me, this was a peculiar answer.

“I still don’t understand,” Dad persisted.

I thought for a moment. “Dad,” I began, “when you were dating, you had one means of communication; the home phone. You either called a person, or they called you, and if neither did then that was it. You never had to see them again. Nowadays, we have about 15 ways of contacting each other. If you don’t have a system to wade through it, you’re not going to survive! If my generation didn’t play games, we’d drown.”

Dad paused for a second. “Well…that’s a shame for you guys, isn’t it?” was his eventual reply.

“Yeah, no shit!” I agreed. The 5 minutes were up; I went back to texting. However, Dad had me thinking. I went over the different ways my friends/romantic liaisons and I communicated…I came up with texting, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Dubsmash, Bebo, Myspace, Tumblr, Tindr, Happn, Grindr, FaceTime, Skype, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+, email, and the rarely used phone call.

Mortifying.

It gets worse. Each method of communication implies a different level of enthusiasm/intimacy. A Facebook message is more personal than a wall post which is less personal than a text message which is less flirtatious than Snapchat or Dubsmash which is more hip than Bebo or Myspace which are less risky than Tindr or Grindr or Happn although those are more interesting than Tumblr or Pintrest or Google+… Have I missed any?!

How are we supposed to communicate if there are this many walls to break down? How can we be honest with each other if we’re constantly wearing masks? How can we truly get to know someone when our heavily Instagrammed Facebook profile pictures are often the first thing they see? We’re done before we’ve even begun.

Also, think of the future. Have you seen Generation Z trying to talk face-to-face? It’s like watching two monkeys discuss who has the biggest banana, but less entertaining. Who can blame them? They’ve had smartphones since they were 10, they barely handwrite in class anymore and an extraordinary amount of their schoolwork is online. OF COURSE they are now a generation of cyber junkies. As for the next generation, there’s no telling how low they’ll sink.

Unfortunately, I actually don’t have an all-encompassing solution. Perhaps if we swap one text message for a phone call every day. Or eat our meals before they get cold while we’re figuring out the best angle to take that foodie photo from. Or actually make the trip to our friend’s midnight cabaret in Darlinghurst instead of watching it on YouTube three weeks later. Either way, we need to do something, or the droids will finally rise up and take over. That, or we’ll have a social media induced zombie apocalypse.

Image via Askmen.com

7 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

Who hasn’t joined Tinder at one point or another? Whether it’s been to check-up on the ex (don’t lie), have a laugh with friends, or to get that big ego-boost when you instantly match with someone. Regardless of your motivation, below are a few tried and tested dating tips from yours truly – so, relax and have fun!

RELATED: 5 People To Avoid While Dating Online

Location, location, location

Proximity counts. Who wants to be matched to a good-looking, (eligible) bachelor who lives more than 40km away? Did you just waste all that banter for nothing? Make sure to bring down the location to at least 10-20km – something which actually seems plausible.

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

We matched… Now what?

 Have you ever matched with someone on Tinder only to be let down by the lack of conversation? Start it yourself, girl! Most users will actually swipe right to multiple women at the one time, then come back to the drawing board afterwards. If you like what you see, start a casual conversation. You’ve got nothing to lose and who cares if he doesn’t reply? *Unmatched*

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

Solo pictures

It’s good to have a bit of variety in your pictures on Tinder. Isn’t it annoying finally finding someone who only has one photo of themselves – which doesn’t even show their face? Post pictures of yourself, but don’t over-do it with an in-flux of images with your friends. How will they know who you are? Oh the frustration!

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

About me

Don’t over-do it in the description section. Keep it short and sweet without offending people in the process. Tinder now has a new function which allows you to link your Instagram account into the game of love – that is, if you want random strangers lurking at your profile.

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

Fake profiles

Whether we want to believe it or not, there are hundreds of fake profiles circulating around Tinder for a multitude of different reasons. Use your discretion and never reveal too much personal information about yourself to someone you’re unsure about.

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

Check to see if you have common friends and interests – this will usually be a great indication as to who the person is you’re speaking to.

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

So… You’ve matched with a friend?

We’ve all done it before… Re-connected with an old friend from high school on Tinder. This scenario is easy enough to avoid, especially if you’re both working with a similar sense of humour. Otherwise, you have no option but to pretend it never happened. Ever.

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

TMI

Also known as too much information, this type of thing will happen a lot on Tinder. It goes without saying sometimes. If you don’t want to talk, the Unmatch button is simply just one click away. Tinder is only as serious as you make it out to be.

10 Tips For Sensible Tinder Dating

Images via Words From Abby, Tinder Lines, That’s Mags,

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