Rest when you’re dead.
A prominent fact of life is that all people judge each other by how they look and what they wear. Some people attempt to be consciously non-judgmental and try to look past appearances, but they still make unconscious decisions based on initial impressions on whether a person is a potential friend or foe. This phenomenon goes back to the time of the dinosaurs and it’s ultimately how the human race has survived.
It’s due to the importance of making a good impression that people generally take care of how they present themselves. Yes, there are times when you just want to sleuth out so some situations are more important than others, like going for an interview, a night out on the town or going on a date.
During these times if you are aiming for that sexy and sophisticated look and are actually leaning toward skanky, you will be repealing the type of life opportunities you deserve. The most imperative thing in these situations is to know the difference.
So what are they? Firstly, the difference between sexy and skanky is attitude related. Regardless of how you look, if you feel and behave like God’s gift to men, you are probably projecting yourself as skanky. Sexy, sophisticated women don’t pounce, they lure and there lies the big difference.
Traditionally, males are the hunters and that still applies to the battle of the sexes when it comes to work and play. Whether you are being interviewed for a job, at a club or on a date, the majority of men don’t like to be chased. Regardless of the advancement Feminism has made, men still judge women who chase them and prefer the company of women who don’t.
Now, apart from attitude and behavior, how you look adds to the art of luring and seduction. Sexy, sophisticated women have this down pat. When it comes to how they present themselves, less is certainly not more and if you want people to notice your brain instead of your boobs, don’t shove them out there for everyone to see.
Sexy women show just enough cleavage to be alluring, dress their age, add make-up only to enhance their natural beauty, limit accessories and emulate femininity. They avoid revealing clothing like ultra short shorts, skirts or dresses, exceptionally plunging necklines and items which look more like lingerie. They also know how to style footwear. For example; many people refer to long full length boots as cum-fuck-me-boots. If you are going to wear them you need to know what message they are sending and how to style them with elegance and grace.
So, unless you’re heading down to the beach, cover up a bit and let the imagination work its magic. I’m not being a prude either. After years of experience, having male friends, work colleagues and a couple of long term partners, I have an excellent insight into the way they think. It’s not just men either. Other women are probably your most cynical critics and many will notice if you look skanky.
If you are unsure before you step out the door, check out how you look in the mirror. If you’re about to have a wardrobe malfunction and your breasts are about to leap out of your top, stop! If you bend over and get a peek of your underwear, (lets hope you are wearing some) stop! Turn around and choose something else. Plus, if your makeup has you looking like someone else, you are probably overdoing it.
Lastly, it doesn’t matter if you are 19 or 69, if you look skanky instead of sexy, it will make other people uncomfortable. That will limit valuable life opportunities, including jobs, friendships and relationships. Sure, you might get a fair bit of attention, but you need to aim for positive attention to ultimately get the best out of life.
Image via cmarchuska.com
Ever been told things happen for a reason? Yes, even being on the receiving end of a bad haircut! Recently, I went into a new hairdresser and asked for the Jennifer Aniston look. I hadn’t had a cut for a long time because I’d changed states and was a bit hesitant (to say the least) about letting a new hairdresser touch my precious locks. Lengthwise; it was long. Damn long!
Needless to say, I walked out with a short bob. My initial response was WTF! Not only had this new hairdresser neglected to do as I asked, but I’d lost at least 15 cm of pure length. The horror! Jennifer Aniston’s style was, therefore; totally out of the question. So, I walked out of the salon with murderous intent because the ‘professional’ with scissors had snipped away at my identity.
After a few hours of despair, self pity and all that crap, I decided to flip my attitude and considered myself quite lucky. Loads of people get the same hair cut – time after time. With a bad cut, you have an opportunity to experiment with something different. It’s all in the attitude. You can either sulk about it until your hair grows back or you can turn lemons into lemonade. And here’s a few tips on how to do just that.
1. Avoid DIY cutting
Put down the scissors NOW! DIY works well for a variety of other things but fixing your haircut really isn’t one of them. It doesn’t matter if you have a bit of experience, either. Chances are you are probably a bit emotional and what starts as a bad hair cut could end up being a total disaster.
2. Check out the latest styles
Jump on the internet and check out the latest styles. Work out what will suit you and be realistic about achieving it. If you’ve had long hair for a while, going short will be a big change and you will need some time to get used to it. Make the best of the situation and think sexy! There are plenty of sexy shorter styles, which may look better than your previous long locks.
3. Using what you have
If you have natural curls, reinventing a bad haircut will be fairly easy. If you have straight hair, you may want to invest in a curling wand or opt for an even shorter look. You will need to go to another hairdresser to have it done. Either way, think about what type of hair you have and work out ways to make that bad hair cut work for you.
Most of us have a few products tucked away. It’s time to use them. If you don’t have any, think about what you want to achieve, go and spend a bit of money and buy them. They aren’t going to break the bank and they will make you feel better. It’s tough to put a price on that! For example, the wet look is really sexy and suits lots of different hair styles. Applying it is easy and you can get the look you are after. Plus, it can cost as little as $10.
It doesn’t matter what your hair looks like. Beauty comes from within. If you walk around with a shitty attitude, it will shine through. If you approach this event as time for a makeover, you’ll do fine. You’ll probably get comments about how great the new style is and how brave you are for trying something new.
If you obsess about your misfortune, not only will you act and sound like a whinger, which repels people, but you will have missed an opportunity to improve yourself. Life often throws things at you for this specific purpose. So grab it with both hands and make it work for you.
Image via http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRKoG-0adBD9z6OoatU3qU6EfmWUSYxmzT9qU1IV3tIZHw6PXm
Our Mover and Shaker this week is Kathy Buchanan, Features Editor for B Magazine.
The women who appear on this page are selected by consensus of the SheSaid editorial staff and are duly invited to participate. If you wish to nominate an inspiring woman to appear in this ‘moving and shaking hall of fame’, please contact us.
Name Kathy Buchanan
Occupation/Title Features Editor, B Magazine
Company/Organisation B Magazine, Pacific Publications, Sydney
Star sign Capricorn
Describe your career progression and your current professional position.
When I was 23 I began working as the Advertising Assistant on Good Housekeeping magazine in London while simultaneously doing post-graduate media study. But after working on a glossy magazine and seeing what it was really like I realised that I had to be a writer. I had an empty ache in my heart and knew it wouldn’t go away until I made it happen. So when an internal job came up as an Editorial Assistant on an amazing men’s style magazine called Esquire it had to be mine. I snared it and worked incredibly hard doing everything and anything. I’d sort the post, write film reviews, organise parties, liaised with writers and PR’s, input copy and was the celebrity agency contact for the covers. A few months into the job I did my first ever interview with the musician Sting.
I don’t think they’d ever seen anyone work so hard for so little money, so opportunities came my way quickly. I was given several regular celebrity columns, started writing articles and was promoted within the features department. I had my own radio slot on Liberty Radio and did regular radio interviews promoting the magazine. I was working in the heart of London in Soho and constantly surrounded by creative people. At this stage I was also editing the company in-house magazine. After two years at Esquire I was poached to work as a writer and section editor on a women’s magazine called Company (the third top selling women’s magazine in the UK) where I worked for eighteen months. At Company I was sent to Greece and the Northern Territory to cover stories. But after seven years away and five years working for The National Magazine Company (all above magazines were with the same company) I decided to come back to Australia and settle in Sydney for the beautiful beaches and relaxed lifestyle. I then worked as a freelance writer for three months before being offered the Features Editor job on the glossy women’s magazine, B. I’ve been here for over a year and have already been sent on a work trip to London for ten days.
Describe a typical day? I catch the train and usually start work between 9am and 9:30am. Depending on what stage of the issue we are at I attend meetings, work on feature ideas, talk to prospective freelance writers, set up shoots, speak to readers and PR’s, write and edit copy. I often work through lunch. Depending on how busy work is I’ll usually attend a book launch, launch-party or work late a few nights a week. My job is full on and a constant juggling act. If it is quiet I’ll usually finish work at around 6:30pm otherwise I’ll work as late as I have to, to get the job done.
What’s the best part of the job? Meeting a truly amazing array of people every month and working with inspirational colleagues. What’s the worst part of the job? The stress of deadlines and the late nights.