“Trust me?” he asks.
I nod. He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread.
“These are new,” he says emphatically.
I look questioningly up at him.
“I am going to put these inside of you, and then I’m going to spank you, not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine.” – Fifty Shades of Grey
Ben Wa Balls, Kegal Balls, Luna Beads, Burmese bells, Orgasm Balls, Geisha Balls: call them what you will, but these small, marble-sized weighted balls now have a centre-stage role thanks to erotic blockbuster Fifty Shades of Grey.
The extract above is from the 2011 E L James bestselling book. It remains to be seen if the sex balls, as I like to call them, will feature as prominently in the highly anticipated film adaptation due out around February 12.
The first book in the erotic trilogy, about a virginal 21-year-old college gal and the 27-year-old billionaire who love a bit of rough play, Fifty Shades has caused sales of sex toys, bondage and S&M gear to skyrocket both nationally and internationally. And the classic Ben Wa Balls, or various versions of them, have been flying off the shelves too, ever since.
The weighted balls are worn inside the vagina and have long been used to strengthen pelvic floor muscles – but can they, as Fifty Shades of Grey’s female protagonist Anastasia Steele experiences – also bring you to orgasm?
In the book, Anastasia suddenly turns nympho – “needy for sex” – after wearing said balls and almost has an orgasm after infamous male protagonist Christian Grey “jerks them out…suddenly”.
So, can we expect the same, if we wear the balls in real life? Sadly, no.
Leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein says do your research before use when it comes to the balls and, importantly, they’re not recommended for young girls. “On a pelvic floor basis, these balls are great,” Dr Goldstein says. “They can strengthen your muscles and aid bladder control.
“They’re also great if you forget to do your pelvic floor exercises (also called Kegel exercises).”
But what about the big O? Surely, Fifty Shades of Grey’s famous sex scene isn’t a fake?! Dr Goldstein says strong pelvic floor muscles can help you to have more orgasms, and strengthen the intensity of your big Os, but as for the balls themselves, it’s not the usual practice for them to be used for sexual enjoyment. What the hell E L James?!
“For some people, the more weighted ones can put pressure on the vaginal canal and rub on the G-spot,” she says. “And some people also insert them in the vaginal canal during anal sex.
“But I’d be reluctant to tell people to use them exclusively for sexual pleasure.”
Note well, ladies: do not put the sex balls in your anus as there’s a high likelihood the balls will, erm, disappear, according to Dr Goldstein.
So, what’s the moral of the story here, ladies?
“Do not use Fifty Shades of Grey as a text book on sex!” Dr Goldstein says. “It’s a fantasy novel, not a sex education book.
“But it just goes to show that people are craving information about sex topics.
“My final advice would be definitely do not expect to almost have an orgasm just by using the balls.”
Does spanking by a hot man help?
For more information on Dr Goldstein, visit drnikki.com.au.
What do you think? Have you tried using the sex balls?
Secondary image via fiftyshadesaddicted.com; book image via www.npr.org and cartoon via www.wheresmyglow.com.
Want deeper, better, more earth-shatteringly good orgasms this summer? For starters, don’t make like Meg Ryan’s character in the hilarious 1989 US romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally (pictured) and fake your way to glory.
Instead, summer is a prime time to get more in touch with your sensuality and take charge of your own sexual pleasure so as to get bigger, better Os, says leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured below). Here, the good doctor gives SHESAID readers her top three tips for better orgasms this summer:
Tip 1: Get more vitamin D, girlfriend
“I think summer is a sexier time of year than the other seasons because of vitamin D,” Dr Goldstein says. “We are outside more, getting more sun, and often happier because we have more hours of daylight, so I really do think that contributes to a happy, energetic and sexy mood. That’s why we have the summer romance, it’s a sexier time!”
Tip 2: Exercise your mind and body
Dr G is a big believer in exercising your mind and body to get a better orgasm. “When women are fit and healthy and more positive about their bodies they are more able to feel good about being sexual and get out of their heads and enjoy the experience,” Dr G says. And don’t forget to exercise those all-important pelvic floor muscles, either! “Exercises that work every part of the body, including the PC muscles, can help with increasing the intensity of orgasms,” she says.
“But exercising the mind, too, is a powerful tool. Being able to meditate, relax and breathe can greatly help women with their mental pleasure zones and assist them to once again switch off and enjoy the experience.”
Tip 3: Take charge of your sexual pleasure
Is it a man’s responsibility to get us off? Dr G says a big no. “One of the biggest myths is that a man should be able to deliver an orgasm to a woman on a silver platter,” she says.
“It can be to have a handy partner in the bedroom who knows his way around, but it’s also important women take change of their sexual pleasure and understand how their body works too.
“Being able to tell your partner what gets you over the edge is really important and also taking pressure of him to ensure the big O can help him enjoy the experience with you instead of worrying about what he might not be able to do.”
Main image via fanpop.com, secondary image via www.pixabay.com