Penis

7 Cool Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Your Vagina

From their size to their function, vaginas really are amazing things. 

February 23, 2017

I Tried A Male Vibrator In Bed And WHOA

Things escalated quickly.

December 12, 2016

A Day In The Life Of A Female Porn Star

Prepare to drop your preconceptions.

August 22, 2016

16 Crazy-Funny Sex Acts, As Defined By Urban Dictionary

Kanye West makes a spectacular appearance.

August 17, 2016

8 Ways To Keep Sex HOT AF In Long-Term Relationships

Something’s on fire. Oh, you know what – it’s probably just your burnin’ loins!

August 9, 2016

How I Stole My Sex Drive Back From My Antidepressants

You don’t have to just lay there and take it.

August 2, 2016

What Sex And The City Taught Us About Blowjobs

Thank God for Samantha Jones!

July 27, 2016

Sex Sent These Couples To The ER

You can’t make this shit up.

July 25, 2016

13 Guys Explain Why They Send Dick Pics

The ultimate #sleazefactor.

July 5, 2016

This Is When You’re Most Likely To Be Horny Each Month

And it’s all thanks to our period.

June 28, 2016

4 Women Spill: The First Time I Tried Anal

You know you’re intrigued…

May 4, 2016

7 Awkward Sex Stories That’ll Make You Feel Better About Your Love Life

We’re talking hospital visits, broken bones and a whole lotta vom.

April 6, 2016

6 Reasons Pejazzling Should Be A Thing

Because it’s the next natural step after vajazzling.

October 24, 2015

Why Do Men Send Dick Pics?

If you have dated online, you have probably received unsolicited dick pics. You start chatting on the site and eventually exchange numbers. You are texting from your phone and then BAM – the dick pic arrives. It is almost always unsolicited. Some women are delighted to get one. They are ruining it for the rest of us by not shutting this behavior down. Most women are totally flummoxed by opening a photo of an erection they didn’t ask for.

RELATED: Sex And The Single Girl: Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?

The man has usually taken the photo in the storeroom of their office building or next to the toilet seat in their bathroom. The unsolicited dick pic might arrive in the first blush of your texts, or it comes when he isn’t getting your attention. Then BAM, dick pic. Some women have whole libraries of them. Where did men get the idea a picture of their erect penis (no one sends the flaccid photos) would excite a woman? What are they hoping to achieve? I went underground to infiltrate the male psyche on this one. In other words, I went on chat sites where men discuss why they do it. Here are some of the responses:

“Pride, kinda like how my toddler will sometimes bring me into the bathroom to show me a turd he made of significant size or interesting color. I’m confident he’ll grow out of this.”

They genuinely believe their erect penis makes a wonderful photograph and is a thrill for women to receive. The understanding is that a woman will get as much pleasure out of seeing his penis as he does.

“It has some non-zero probability of success. The is just an extension of some guys’ tactic of just whipping their dick out and seeing what happens.”

This dick pic arrives when a woman is definitely not interested. This is akin to the old school flashers, who have since disappeared . They are probably busy using the internet. Now that Instagram has direct messaging, some women receive thousands of unsolicited dick pics. The reaction the men are hoping for? Horror, anger, anything. They want a reaction and the comfort of knowing they are not alone in the universe. They saw my dick, therefore I am.

“They just get off on knowing that some stranger saw their dick.”

This is a shorter and better explanation of the above.

“We like to see vaginas. So in our warped minds we believe females like to see our dicks. We just haven’t realized yet that they aren’t attractive to you.”

Women like a dick to come with a whole person, not isolated in a photo frame. They like their dicks in context.

“We do it to piss you off.”

Some men send dick picks because it is about power. They know you don’t want to see it and they are forcing you to look. It’s hard to imagine women sending revenge pics of their vagina, since we know they will probably be enjoyed. At the very least, ignored. Shock and horror isn’t a typical response to a vagina pick, unless it was sent to a family member or colleague by accident. Women are not accustomed to seeing their vaginas as a symbol of power or humiliation or the last word.

Maybe in the future, when a woman gets rejected, it will be de rigueur to fire off a vagina shot. We’ll start sending them to our girl friends, because it’s funny. This world is somewhat hard to imagine. The way we see our genitals is so different, it is almost impossible to reverse the behavior. Which explains why some men think their dick pics will be titillating – they cannot imagine any other reaction. And why it’s hard for women to understand why men do it.

“Because somewhere out there is a woman desperate enough for the D that she’ll message me, tell me to come over, and will be waiting for me to bang her. This woman will be insane, but I don’t care.”

This is true. The dick pic sometimes works.

“Guys with enough self respect and status don’t do that shit.”

Plenty of men would never dream of sending a dick pic. Men come in all shapes and sizes. Just like their dicks.

Image via Jezebel

September 12, 2015

Weekend Wit: Is Penis Size A Myth?

Is penis size a myth? Hmm, it depends which side of the equation you sit on this. Some say yes it is a myth and others say absolutely not! Penis size does matter, in fact it matters a heck of a lot.

I’d like to say for argument sake and to make men out there feel better by saying that penis size is a big fat urban myth. Just because a man is well endowed it doesn’t automatically qualify said man as being an incredible lover. I know some women out there will be jumping up and down right now, but wait ladies. If you think I’m wrong let me take you for a bit of a journey and provide some proof. Yes there is actual proof!

RELATED: Weekend Wit: The Walk Of Shame

penis size, sex, wit, witty stories, fun, humor, funny stories, penis,

The tradie

Being a tremendous lover is like any other skill that’s acquired. It’s not something men put on their resume or display on their LinkedIn account for all the world to see, but we can agree it’s a skill nonetheless. Tradies also have skills, yeah?

Now, when women hire tradies to fix their cars or something around their homes, they don’t base their selection on the size of the tradies tools now do they? Do they choose a mechanic by the size of the money wrench? Carpenter by the size of the hammer or plumber by the size of a plunger? No they don’t. How bloody bizarre would that be?

Instead they might chat to a few, get a couple of quotes and base their decision on the best quote or the tradie they feel most confident with. See where I’m heading with this? Tool size and skill have no connection people. None. Unless a tradie skillfully knows how to operate their tools, they won’t get the job done properly at all. A man with a hammer does not a carpenter make. Understand?

 penis size, sex, wit, witty stories, humor, funny stories, penis, fun,

Sex toys
Now if penis size was a defining factor to get women off why are there vibrators the size of an index finger? Also, why is this size one of the best selling vibrators and why do manufactorors continue to come up with more colours, designs and so forth? Plus, why wouldn’t the sex toy industry just make all vibrators and dildos the size of a well endowed man or larger, if all that mattered was penis size? Why?

Well I’ll tell you why. Size does not matter. Simple. Plus how on earth would a woman manage to keep a vibrator hidden in her handbag if they were all made based on the myth that bigger is better?

Image for a second a woman rummaging through her handbag as most women are known to do. She’s right in the middle of her favorite busy cafe about to pay for her morning latte. As she’s pulling out her purse out flies one of those extra large vibrators with a strong resemblance to a gigantic penis. OMG can you imagine! Is bigger better now ladies?

These women know that a small discrete bullet sized vibrator will do the job. Plus if the above fore-mentioned scenario did happen most people would think she’s just dropped her lipstick, not her favorite sex toy. She can calmly pick it up, pop it back in her handbag and no-one would be the wiser. I don’t think she could do that with something bigger, do you?

 

It’s what’s attached that counts

Most women would have to agree that what’s attached to the penis far outweighs penis size. If penis size was the only thing that mattered men wouldn’t be covering up. They’d be heading to the nearest plastic surgeon, getting massive implants and parading around their most prized possession.

Much like those women with ridiculously large boob jobs who are known to parade around rich old men like Geoffrey Edelsten, for them to make their breast selection. Oh sorry their wife selection. Clearly these men believe the bigger the better. Hmm, I wonder if that applies to them? OMG what am I saying? Sorry I really don’t wonder. Particularly in these cases I’m very glad men aren’t parading around, penis out!

 penis size, sex, wit, witty stories, humor, funny stories, penis, fun,

Evolution

Lastly, I’m pulling out the big guns and offering scientific proof! If women preferred well endowed men why are there so many men walking around with small penises? Wouldn’t the evolutionary process of natural selection have snuffed them out by now? Think about that one.

Images: huffingtonpost.com, groupon.ca, reddit.com, pintrest.com

February 7, 2015

Ultimate Oral Sex Guide

Do you know how to give the ultimate blow job? Well, there’s not a one-size-fits-all, step-by-step guide that anyone has come up with yet that can satisfy everyone, so why bother! What we are going to tell you is if you want to make his toes curl, the ultimate tip is to talk dirty to him and ask him while you’re down there. There’s not a man alive that has said, “I wish she wouldn’t talk dirty to me.” He knows what he likes, way more than we do, so we don’t need to go there.

Instead, we’re going to offer ways to improve your performance and technique. Stuff like how your attitude affects your performance, ways to reduce that annoying gag reflex, swallowing, spiting alternatives and using peppermint – all to make the experience better, for both of you.

1. Attitude

The No.1 way to boost your performance is in your attitude. It doesn’t matter if you suck like a damn Hoover, your man wants to feel like you are loving it down there and the entire experience is irresistible to you. Image if the tables were turned and he had a half-assed attitude, like he was doing you a favour, or worse he didn’t really want to be there and it totally grossed him out. It wouldn’t exactly be a turn-on.

If there are certain things you don’t like or want to do, you need to think about what they are. Either find a solution, get used to giving a very mediocre blow job or opt out all together and just don’t do it. Sex is about enjoyment for both of you. Your brain is your largest sex organ, so it’s no surprise that giving an incredible blow job needs to start here.

2. Reducing the gag reflex

Now we’ve covered your attitude, there’s lots that can be done to reduce the gag reflex. The key is remember to breathe! The gag reflex is primarily to stop us from choking, so if you are getting oxygen into your lungs, this will reduce it.

Remember, practice makes perfect. Some women have fixed really bad gag reflexes by practicing. The more you practice, the deeper you will be able to go. Other women have recommended throat numbing sprays, like the ones dentists use or sex products specifically designed to reduce the gag reflex. There’s a wide variety of options available.

Position is another key element. Some positions make it better, while others can make it worse. If it’s a problem for you, then finding the right position may be a solution. Also, being in control can be another factor. If your man’s hands are on your head, it takes away your control. You may need them off your head, so bind them up, then you can be in complete control of how deep and fast you go.

3. Swallowing and spitting

Oh, the million dollar question – what to do when he comes? Semen has an unusual taste and texture, so it’s a personal preference whether you swallow it or choose another option. If your man really likes you to swallow and it’s the taste that is the turn off, add some flavoured lube or tasty spread, which will reduce the flavour. Another tip is to have his penis deep in your mouth, so it basically shoots down your throat without touching your taste buds. This is where sprays might come in handy.

If the thought of swallowing is totally out of the question, don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s lots of other things you can do, just before he comes. For example; a popular one to finish him off, is by rubbing his penis between your breasts as you squeeze them together or you could finish him off with a hand job and direct him to come on your body somewhere. Mix things up a bit, get creative and don’t let the prospect of not being able to swallow be the one thing that affects your attitude.

4. Peppermint

If you want to give him a real treat, plus help with the taste, suck on a peppermint or gargle some mouthwash, just prior to your umm… performance. It will give him a tingling sensation, when it comes in contact with his delicate skin. Make sure the actual peppermint doesn’t touch the skin, because it can burn and irritate. This won’t only work for him, but will also feel similar to you so get him to try it next time he’s heading down there.

We’ve aimed to focus on the most significant things that affect performance. Of course, there’s so much more to it. If you have some secret tips you’d like to share, don’t be shy, we’d all  love to hear about them.

Image via http://www.sexverhalensite.nl

October 28, 2014

4 Essential Sex Toys For Better Sex

Couples of all ages can boost their love life with some sex toys and aids. It not only makes sex more interesting but will  improve the experience for both partners. After a review of the most essential items, we’ve come up with 4 must have products which will improve sex for everyone.

Dual-stimulating vibrators

These little contraptions are a great invention for couples. There are some different types but the most effective variety fits inside the vagina, stimulating the clitoris and follows the shape of the woman’s body to rest on the labia. They have been designed to please both partners during intercourse, both in and out of water. Most have been created to stay in place, despite the thrusting motion which occurs during intercourse. Some are better than others, so check out different types before you make a purchase.

we vibe

Penis pumps

Penis pumps and cock rings are often used together. Firstly, penis pumps work like a vacuum and can improve an erection; making it larger (longer and wider) and last longer. There are air and water designed pumps available and some claim to increase penis size, considerably, when used frequently. They can be used when an erection is difficult to achieve or to improve the size and duration of an erection.

penis pump

Cock rings

Cock rings also improve performance. They are placed over the penis prior to it being erect and positioned to prolong the erection. There are heaps of different varieties; from single to multiple rings, vibrating or non-vibrating, made from different materials, glow in the dark, reusable or disposable and now they even come in various shapes. They are the ultimate little device, which can even be bought from some restroom, vending machines if you want to try them out.

4 essential sex toys for every couple

Lubes and gels

Sexual lubricants are considered sex aids, rather than toys. They are available in a huge range of places including supermarkets, service stations, pharmacies, etc. There is both edible and non-edible varieties, plus new technology have developed some which provide a different sensation, when used singularly and combined. For example, the man will experience a warming sensation, while his partner will experience tingling.

For mature couples, lubes and gels are essential, as bodily fluids reduce with age particularly for menopausal and post-menopausal women. They are also exceptionally useful to use with other sex toys. If lubrication isn’t an issue, try them out anyway and play around with different types. They aren’t expensive and are great to have in your bedside table.

personal lubricant

As you can see, sex toys are way more than vibrators and you don’t have to dive into the S&M real, to improve your sex life. Although, after Fifty Shades of Gray, bondage isn’t considered that kinky anymore. There are plenty of couples ready to give handcuffs a go!

There is, of course, a massive range available for those who are more adventurous. With new products continuously being developed, a trip or click to the adult shop is well worth another look.

Images via i01.i.aliimg.com, encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com, ridgehkr.com, ecx.images-amazon.com

October 15, 2014
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