“I’m going to clone my pussy because really, why not?” Episode three in the second series of ‘Tales of A F*ckgirl…
You don’t have to just lay there and take it.
From their size to their function, vaginas really are amazing things.
But will it do more harm than good?
Is penis size a myth? Hmm, it depends which side of the equation you sit on this. Some say yes it is a myth and others say absolutely not! Penis size does matter, in fact it matters a heck of a lot.
I’d like to say for argument sake and to make men out there feel better by saying that penis size is a big fat urban myth. Just because a man is well endowed it doesn’t automatically qualify said man as being an incredible lover. I know some women out there will be jumping up and down right now, but wait ladies. If you think I’m wrong let me take you for a bit of a journey and provide some proof. Yes there is actual proof!
Being a tremendous lover is like any other skill that’s acquired. It’s not something men put on their resume or display on their LinkedIn account for all the world to see, but we can agree it’s a skill nonetheless. Tradies also have skills, yeah?
Now, when women hire tradies to fix their cars or something around their homes, they don’t base their selection on the size of the tradies tools now do they? Do they choose a mechanic by the size of the money wrench? Carpenter by the size of the hammer or plumber by the size of a plunger? No they don’t. How bloody bizarre would that be?
Instead they might chat to a few, get a couple of quotes and base their decision on the best quote or the tradie they feel most confident with. See where I’m heading with this? Tool size and skill have no connection people. None. Unless a tradie skillfully knows how to operate their tools, they won’t get the job done properly at all. A man with a hammer does not a carpenter make. Understand?
Now if penis size was a defining factor to get women off why are there vibrators the size of an index finger? Also, why is this size one of the best selling vibrators and why do manufactorors continue to come up with more colours, designs and so forth? Plus, why wouldn’t the sex toy industry just make all vibrators and dildos the size of a well endowed man or larger, if all that mattered was penis size? Why?
Well I’ll tell you why. Size does not matter. Simple. Plus how on earth would a woman manage to keep a vibrator hidden in her handbag if they were all made based on the myth that bigger is better?
Image for a second a woman rummaging through her handbag as most women are known to do. She’s right in the middle of her favorite busy cafe about to pay for her morning latte. As she’s pulling out her purse out flies one of those extra large vibrators with a strong resemblance to a gigantic penis. OMG can you imagine! Is bigger better now ladies?
These women know that a small discrete bullet sized vibrator will do the job. Plus if the above fore-mentioned scenario did happen most people would think she’s just dropped her lipstick, not her favorite sex toy. She can calmly pick it up, pop it back in her handbag and no-one would be the wiser. I don’t think she could do that with something bigger, do you?
It’s what’s attached that counts
Most women would have to agree that what’s attached to the penis far outweighs penis size. If penis size was the only thing that mattered men wouldn’t be covering up. They’d be heading to the nearest plastic surgeon, getting massive implants and parading around their most prized possession.
Much like those women with ridiculously large boob jobs who are known to parade around rich old men like Geoffrey Edelsten, for them to make their breast selection. Oh sorry their wife selection. Clearly these men believe the bigger the better. Hmm, I wonder if that applies to them? OMG what am I saying? Sorry I really don’t wonder. Particularly in these cases I’m very glad men aren’t parading around, penis out!
Lastly, I’m pulling out the big guns and offering scientific proof! If women preferred well endowed men why are there so many men walking around with small penises? Wouldn’t the evolutionary process of natural selection have snuffed them out by now? Think about that one.
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Do you know how to give the ultimate blow job? Well, there’s not a one-size-fits-all, step-by-step guide that anyone has come up with yet that can satisfy everyone, so why bother! What we are going to tell you is if you want to make his toes curl, the ultimate tip is to talk dirty to him and ask him while you’re down there. There’s not a man alive that has said, “I wish she wouldn’t talk dirty to me.” He knows what he likes, way more than we do, so we don’t need to go there.
Instead, we’re going to offer ways to improve your performance and technique. Stuff like how your attitude affects your performance, ways to reduce that annoying gag reflex, swallowing, spiting alternatives and using peppermint – all to make the experience better, for both of you.
Let us introduce, the Ultimate Oral Sex guide.
The No.1 way to boost your performance is in your attitude. It doesn’t matter if you suck like a damn Hoover, your man wants to feel like you are loving it down there and the entire experience is irresistible to you. Image if the tables were turned and he had a half-assed attitude, like he was doing you a favour, or worse he didn’t really want to be there and it totally grossed him out. It wouldn’t exactly be a turn-on.
If there are certain things you don’t like or want to do, you need to think about what they are. Either find a solution, get used to giving very mediocre oral sex, or opt out all together and just don’t do it. Sex is about enjoyment for both of you. Your brain is your largest sex organ, so it’s no surprise that giving an incredible blow job needs to start here.
2. Reducing the gag reflex
Now we’ve covered your attitude, there’s lots that can be done to reduce the gag reflex. The key is remember to breathe! The gag reflex is primarily to stop us from choking, so if you are getting oxygen into your lungs, this will reduce it.
Remember, practice makes perfect. Some women have fixed really bad gag reflexes by practicing. The more you practice, the deeper you will be able to go. Other women have recommended throat numbing sprays, like the ones dentists use or sex products specifically designed to reduce the gag reflex. There’s a wide variety of options available.
Position is another key element. Some positions make it better, while others can make it worse. If it’s a problem for you, then finding the right position may be a solution. Also, being in control can be another factor. If your man’s hands are on your head, it takes away your control. You may need them off your head, so bind them up, then you can be in complete control of how deep and fast you go.
3. Swallowing and spitting
Oh, the million dollar question – what to do when he comes? Semen has an unusual taste and texture, so it’s a personal preference whether you swallow it or choose another option. If your man really likes you to swallow and it’s the taste that is the turn off, add some flavoured lube or tasty spread, which will reduce the flavour. Another tip is to have his penis deep in your mouth, so it basically shoots down your throat without touching your taste buds. This is where sprays might come in handy.
If the thought of swallowing is totally out of the question, don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s lots of other things you can do, just before he comes. For example; a popular one to finish him off, is by rubbing his penis between your breasts as you squeeze them together or you could finish him off with a hand job and direct him to come on your body somewhere. Mix things up a bit, get creative and don’t let the prospect of not being able to swallow be the one thing that affects your attitude.
If you want to give him a real treat, plus help with the taste, suck on a peppermint or gargle some mouthwash, just prior to oral sex. It will give him a tingling sensation when it comes in contact with his delicate skin. Make sure the actual peppermint doesn’t touch the skin, because it can burn and irritate. This won’t only work for him, but will also feel similar to you, so get him to try it next time he’s heading down there.
We’ve aimed to focus on the most significant things that affect performance. Of course, there’s so much more to it. If you have some secret tips you’d like to share, don’t be shy, we’d all love to hear about them.
Image via http://www.sexverhalensite.nl
Couples of all ages can boost their love life with some sex toys and aids. It not only makes sex more interesting but will improve the experience for both partners. After a review of the most essential items, we’ve come up with 4 must have products which will improve sex for everyone.
These little contraptions are a great invention for couples. There are some different types but the most effective variety fits inside the vagina, stimulating the clitoris and follows the shape of the woman’s body to rest on the labia. They have been designed to please both partners during intercourse, both in and out of water. Most have been created to stay in place, despite the thrusting motion which occurs during intercourse. Some are better than others, so check out different types before you make a purchase.
Penis pumps and cock rings are often used together. Firstly, penis pumps work like a vacuum and can improve an erection; making it larger (longer and wider) and last longer. There are air and water designed pumps available and some claim to increase penis size, considerably, when used frequently. They can be used when an erection is difficult to achieve or to improve the size and duration of an erection.
Cock rings also improve performance. They are placed over the penis prior to it being erect and positioned to prolong the erection. There are heaps of different varieties; from single to multiple rings, vibrating or non-vibrating, made from different materials, glow in the dark, reusable or disposable and now they even come in various shapes. They are the ultimate little device, which can even be bought from some restroom, vending machines if you want to try them out.
Lubes and gels
Sexual lubricants are considered sex aids, rather than toys. They are available in a huge range of places including supermarkets, service stations, pharmacies, etc. There is both edible and non-edible varieties, plus new technology have developed some which provide a different sensation, when used singularly and combined. For example, the man will experience a warming sensation, while his partner will experience tingling.
For mature couples, lubes and gels are essential, as bodily fluids reduce with age particularly for menopausal and post-menopausal women. They are also exceptionally useful to use with other sex toys. If lubrication isn’t an issue, try them out anyway and play around with different types. They aren’t expensive and are great to have in your bedside table.
As you can see, sex toys are way more than vibrators and you don’t have to dive into the S&M real, to improve your sex life. Although, after Fifty Shades of Gray, bondage isn’t considered that kinky anymore. There are plenty of couples ready to give handcuffs a go!
There is, of course, a massive range available for those who are more adventurous. With new products continuously being developed, a trip or click to the adult shop is well worth another look.
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