We asked the experts to answer all your most embarrassing period questions.
“I think it feels like how your head feels when you’re sick. But your nose is a vagina.”
I just tell my daughter the truth.
Could your hormones be dictating your love life?
‘Tampons? What are those. We don’t say those words out loud.’
Wait – guys think periods come from where?!!
Did we just time travel back to the 1800s?
Because there shouldn’t be anything shameful about it.
“The whole area is a lot more wet – why would a guy say no?”
This may be the greatest breakthrough in women’s health in decades.
Soon you’ll be able to get it on whenever you want.
Hear me out – it’s not as gross as you think.
Rafting the red river ain’t no joyride.
Has your period arrived like a punch in the face (and uterus), forever ruining your beautiful, new luxurious designer white lingerie?
Take heart, sister – the exact same thing is happening to millions of other women right now. Small comfort, I know.
I have long though there should be an emergency period help centre for PMSing women and those who’ve just started their period.
“Excuse me, is that the Period Help Desk? I need 20 packets of Tim Tam, a hot water bottle, a packet of Nurofen and a vat of chardonnay right now!
“Oh, and I also need you to take my husband far, far away!”
And while as far as I can tell no one’s actually launched this service in Australia – sad face – some bright sparks in the US have stolen my idea, sorry, launched genius business The Period Store via theperiodstore.com.
But before you get too excited about a cool monthly package service that allows you to choose awesome lady products from around the globe – they don’t actually ship to Australia just yet, but easy tiger, they’re working on it.
The cool and clever New-York based start-up allows you to customise your monthly package, to coincide with your menses, whereby you can choose from traditional, alternative, international and/or eco-friendly period products.
Want something decadent and sickly sweet? Or how about some super-comfy period undies? Heat therapy for your poor, sore lady parts? The Period Store has it all and more.
You can also pre-order a thousand pads and tampons so you never run out and instead have to rummage around in your bathroom cabinet on a desperate hunt for “feminine hygiene products” when your period unexpectedly arrives in the middle of the night.
Oh the frigging joys!?
God damn, I wish I’d thought of this online store first! It’s awesome, in my opinion and we desperately need The Period Store to start delivering to Australia.
Anyone want to start a petition?!
What do you think – would you buy a monthly care package via a period store?
Images via pinterest.com and theluxuryspot.com
Men. They really are strange. The way they make decisions, their behavior, what they pay attention to and how they go about things makes the female mind boggle! Take menstruation for example. What is it about women’s periods that freaks them out and has them running for the nearest exit?
For example, if you are chatting on the phone to a friend or have your BFF over for coffee, a sure-fire way to stop any man from eavesdropping on your conversation is to throw in the topic of your menstrual cycle. It’s like female Kryptonite! They’ve overheard the word period and they leave the vicinity faster than Superman on a mission. (Tip: Don’t forget to use this one to your advantage!)
Then there’s buying feminine hygiene products for female partners. This is possibly the one incidence whereby gay men are envied by heterosexual males. If your fella is like most of his comrades, this is the one request he could probably do without.
Yes, he will need to walk into the shop and find his way to the feminine hygiene section. Challenge number one. Once there, he will likely be completely overwhelmed when he is instantly confronted with – a wall of feminine hygiene options. Pure horror for the average bloke. Super, regular, flow related, wings, no wings; all of which he knows nothing about. Challenge number two.
Although preferred products are usually neatly placed in her section of the bathroom cabinet – which is shared and he actually opens each day – he chooses not to see them. This is a man skill learned and passed down through generations with utter perfection. The products are there but the connection between his eyes and brain are severed when it comes to anything related to feminine hygiene. (Tip: This is where to hide your own private collection of sex toys because he’ll never see them!)
Back to challenge number two. Men can go either one of two ways when it comes to selecting tampons for their lady. If a man chooses a super-sized product, he has done so with his anatomy is mind. During the selection process, he has come to the assumption that the size of the tampon reflects how endowed he believes he is. If he can fit inside that vagina, it must need a super-sized tampon. Yes, ladies, that’s the logic!
If the man selects the regular or smaller variety, he has done so with her anatomy in mind. These products have been selected because he wants to believe her lady bits, are too small for super-sized products. The thought of his lady using super-sized tampons is a concept he just doesn’t want to envisage. Once again, male logic at work. How on earth was the wheel or electricity ever invented?
Whatever rationale he uses to make the selection; he then finds his way to the checkout. Challenge number three. Some men feel a bit awkward about this. The big question is why? Everyone knows the product isn’t for him. Not unless he’s hiding a vagina in his pants! Maybe there lies the fear?
Despite all men knowing that women bleed once a month, it’s not something the vast majority want to delve into any further. Why any man would want to become a gynecologist is a pure mystery. Maybe they have a defective male gene, assume women visiting the gynecologist aren’t menstruating or something along those lines. Remember, we are dealing with male logic and decision making, so who knows, and most of these men would say women are strange!