“There is a convicted cannibal in our town. Seriously. He killed his friend while being drunk, then ate his jaw.”
Have a tissue handy…
You put WHAT in WHERE?
Clearly Bone isn’t the golden child we all thought he was.
Movies come and go, but (male) fan entitlement is here to stay.
If you thought Kim Kardashian’s toddler North West or Gwneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple had it bad, a forum recently emerged on Reddit revealing some of the strangest and most cringe-worthy baby names. Drawing over 18000 comments within 24 hours, the results were, ah, interesting, with names like Dick Wonderlicker and Pupinderjit among some of the worst.
“There is a girl in my school named Gennah Tyles. With a G. It’s like her parents wanted to name her genitals,” wrote one user, while another said: “Dikshit is a very common Hindi name.”
It seems some parents allow their obsessions to determine the name of their child, with one poor kid being called Britney Shakira Beyonce, while another was named Like after Facebook. ‘This very young couple, who had just had a baby, were so obsessed with Facebook they decided to name their child Like, I kid you not,” wrote a user.
Fan-girling wasn’t the only reason behind a name, with little Jammy being the result of a spelling error, “kids parents thought this was the correct spelling of Jamie,” while poor Abstinence seemed to be the result of a sexual error. “I predict she will be pregnant by 16,” wrote the submitter.
Boy Boy, Mor’a’mang and Obamaniqua – defined by the Urban Dictionary as: “A ghetto-fabulous African-American that loves president Barrack Obama” – were among some of the shockers, but Orgasm well and truly took the cake. “As the daughter of a labor and delivery nurse, I’ve heard an abundance of terrible baby names, but I’d have to say this is by far the worst! Sadly, I’m not kidding,” said the user.
Unlike Orgasm, some parents wanted to remind their children of how unique and amazing they were as opposed to how they were conceived, with the names I’munique and Mazen submitted. “My former stepsister named her kid “Mazen” because it was ‘mazen when he was born.”
But what’s in a name, right? Well according to one user, he went to school with a “little blonde boy with bright blue eyes” named Lucifer, who was apparently “a very creepy kid.”
While naming your child a silly name is downright cruel – school bullies go to town with that stuff, unfortunately – it can also be deemed child abuse. One New Zealand couple reportedly lost custody of their child in 2008 after naming her ‘Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii.’ Seriously.
Some of the other outrageous baby names submitted, included: Airwrecker – an alternative way to spell Erica – Rage, Pud, Vejonica and Hellzel. A future note to parents: No child gets a thrill from having a creative name. Bob, George and Sarah will absolutely suffice!
Image via Shutterstock