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Sexual rejection hurts. Here’s how to keep it from hurting your relationship.

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How To Say No To A Proposal

We’ve grown up to believe that it’s every girl’s dream to find that special guy and have him take us somewhere romantic, drop down on one knee and pull out a beautiful diamond and ask us to be his wife. That’s what we’ve be taught through advertising, movies and old fashioned values from when we are a young child.

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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having that dream, but not every woman wants to wait until the man is ready to ask and some women don’t want to get married at all. On top of all that, saying yes to marriage is a huge commitment and with divorce rates skyrocketing, it seems that decisions are being glamorised by an amazing proposal while relationships for life aren’t being considered.

Saying yes to a proposal is something that should be really thought about. Do you want to marry this person, or are you just after the label of being married or the stability of a marriage? Could you spend your whole life with this person and is the relationship ready to move into marriage territory?

Saying no to a proposal is tricky. You feel like you’re going to break your partners heart, but it’s important to explain to them why you’re saying no instead of a blunt rejection. There may be a number of reasons that you feel you can’t say yes to this proposal. You may not be ready for marriage, you may not want to get married, or you may not feel the same way about the person asking you.

It’s better to say no to a proposal than to lead your partner on. One of the important things about saying no is letting them know why you’re saying no, especially if it’s not to do with them as a person. It can be very easy for a relationship to go south after rejecting a proposal, so it’s important that the asker understands why you’re saying no. If it’s because you don’t want to marry them as a person, they need to know that and you can both assess the relationship and where each of you is going. If it’s because you’re not ready, or you don’t want to be married but still want to stay with the person, let them know this.

Saying no to a proposal is heartbreaking, not just to the one who is asking, but for the person saying no – knowing that you are going to very much upset your partner is traumatising. What both of you want in life is an important discussion that needs to be had as the relationship progresses so that you can both let the other person know how you feel about important topics such as marriage.

Communication is key in a relationship, even when it comes to something that you want to be a surprise, like a proposal. Wouldn’t you rather ask at a time that you know is right and get a yes than ask at the time you think is right and get a no?

Image via americangemsociety.org

How to Overcome Shyness?

Everyone has felt shy at some stage in their lives and the best way to work out when you get shy is remembering situations where you have clamped up. Was it when someone said something about your physical appearance? Was it when you were asked to stand up and state your opinion?Whatever it was, one has to remember that there’s an underlying reason for how you react in situations. A psychologist once said to me that you have to act as if you’re not shy. Even when you are on your own you have to behave as if you’re oozing confidence. You do this by holding your chin up, sticking your chest out, even add a swagger to your walk not too much though.

Speak firmly and clearly. This will give the appearance of being really confident. All right, it might seem ridiculous but I can assure you, this will definitely see results when you’re out in public. Another friend of mine, who always gets jobs and boyfriends, says you should practice making eye contact and smiling in your interaction with others.

Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events. I suggest you always look your best and one way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit the way you are self-critical. Don’t stand in front of the mirror and tug at your stomach and thighs.

Another important point to remember is to lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone and they are rude or ignore you, just walk away. Absolutely everyone has been rejected at some point but no one has to dwell on it for very long. Look and learn. Watch friends or strangers who aren’t shy and learn their tips first hand. Finally learn to feel positive about yourself. Don’t’ get frustrated and remember the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.