How To Raise A Confident Girl

Building self-confidence and high self-esteem is a key aspect of a child’s development – it helps them to face challenges and learn new skills as they grow up.  The impact of having low self-esteem can sometimes lead to negative behaviour such as bullying, drinking, the use of drugs and can also contribute to a child developing an eating disorder.

Growing up in today’s society is tough for young girls.  They are constantly being subjected to unrealistic physical standards and over-sexualised women in the media.  We want to encourage young girls to make positive choices and we want them to be the best they can be.  So in order for them to become confident, self-assured and develop high self-esteem here are some tips that can help.

Tell them they can achieve anything

Having a positive attitude and telling young girls that they can achieve anything they put their mind to is much more of a confidence booster than telling them they can’t do something.  More often than not, if they shoot for the stars, they will reach them.

Never put down your body in front of her

If your daughter sees that you are unhappy with your body image, she may mirror that feeling herself.  Love your body no matter the shape and size and she will grow to love hers too.

Encourage them to play sports

Encourage your daughter to get outside and play sports rather than spending her spare time inside, addicted to social media.  Playing sports gives her an opportunity to overcome challenges and it also teaches her the positive effects that exercise has on her body.

Encourage them to solve problems on their own

Don’t be too quick to jump in and solve your daughter’s problems for her.  Work through the situation with her and get her to suggest ways of overcoming her problem.  Give her guidance but ultimately put the ball back in her court so she can solve it for herself.

Limit their exposure to social media when they are young

By restricting how much exposure young girls have to social media it forces them to use their own imagination and develop their own ideas.  There is also less chance of them being caught up cyberbullying and suffering from lack of sleep which can lead to other problems.

Compliment them and give them praise

Give your daughter praise for little achievements such as helping around the house, reading a book or drawing a picture and delegate age appropriate duties around the home that will make her feel like she is valuable.  Small tasks such as setting the table, feeding the dogs or ordering the takeaways over the phone gives her some responsibility and develops self-confidence.

Point out positive female role models

Teach young girls about female role models that they can look up to.  They could be famous actresses, politicians or even friends and family around you that possess the qualities you want your daughter to have.  Most importantly though, ensure that you are being a good role model for your daughter.  Remember – “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” ― James Baldwin

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By Karyn Miller

June 20, 2014

Motivation Strategies (cont)

Strategy 3: Finishing at the Peak

The strategy is simply to set an hour limit when tackling tasks you usually don’t enjoy.

If you are only going to spend an hour doing a certain task, you don’t need to spend three hours avoiding it. You also boost your chances of enjoying the task.”This strategy is about finishing at the peak of an experience and is based on the belief that you can do anything for an hour,” Gaby explains.

Gaby has used this technique to motivate herself to write follow up letters – something she hates – and to excite trainees about making “cold” sales calls.

She explains that while people waste a lot of time getting started on a job they dislike, they find it very manageable – even enjoyable – once they establish a rhythm and “get on a roll”.

By setting a time limit of one hour, she says, you finish the activity on a “high” and find you are glad to return to it next time around.

Strategy 4: The power role models

This is where you identify a person who is successful at something you want to achieve and you model your behavior on theirs by finding out their success strategies.

You can read up on the person, meet them through a professional group or simply make a direct approach.

If you decide to approach the person Gaby advises doing so by email or a letter so they can refuse. Suggest a short meeting and be specific about what you hope to learn.

Research the person’s interests so you can add something of value to their life in return for their advice.

After meeting the person, send them a thank you explaining how you put their advice into action.

Another method is to read books written by or about successful people such as The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Steven R Covey; You Don’t Have To Be Born Brilliant: How To Design A Magnificent Life by Australian John McGrath; Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins and The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield.

Strategy 5: Turn learning into action

Buying books and attending seminars is an excellent way of exposing yourself to new ideas but real learning begins when you put knowledge into action, says Gaby.

“To get out of being a student of life, my strategy is to put three of the things that I have learnt from a particular seminar or book into action before I buy one more book or attend one more seminar,” she says.

Story by Kate Southam, editor of CareerOne. Go to for more career related articles. Job hunting and workplace questions can be directed to CareerOne by emailing:

April 16, 2003