Romantic-love

Sex And The Single Girl: Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?

“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?” – William Shakespeare, As You Like it.

Some people fall in love with the swiftness of an electric shock, while for others it’s more of a slow burn. But does love at first sight actually exist – or is it merely the stuff of fairytales?

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Cynics say people confuse intense sexual attraction with love at first sight; that it takes both time and knowledge to really deeply know and therefore love someone. But if you’ve ever felt something akin to a lightening bolt, or a quickening of your heartbeat and a sharp intake of breath at the mere sight of someone, is this not a prime example of love at first sight?

This is exactly how I felt the moment I met my husband, and at the end of our very first date, we enjoyed a passionate, old Hollywood-style kiss in the street, completely oblivious to passers-by. He was intoxicating: I couldn’t get enough of him and I’d certainly never experienced such a strong meeting of the minds and physical attraction like this with anyone else.

Happily, he felt the same: within six months we were living together and then married and pregnant with our first child within two years of this meeting. In fact, in hindsight, it seemed like we’d been quite cautious and overly careful in waiting that long; I knew this man was my true life partner and the future father of my children very early on.

love, sex, dating advice, single girls

And if we look to pop culture, take TV reality dating show The Bachelor Australia – while an unrealistic setting – it does show in vivid technicolour that it’s possible to have incredible chemistry with someone the minute you meet them. This year’s Bachelor Sam Wood, aka Woody, as I like to call him, seems to have experienced love at first sight with both front-runner Heather and now with newcomer, “intruder” Lana in particular.

Love at first sight is why I also think you shouldn’t ever judge someone’s love timing. When my own mother found true love for the second time at age 63, and was engaged and married to her now-husband in just over a year, I remember being skeptical and worried at first. Who was I to judge? How hypocritical was I? Didn’t my own love connection with my husband very quickly change everything in the blink of an eye? I guess I was feeling a tad overprotective. And here’s the thing: friends and family might caution you to be careful, but you know true love when you find it.

There’s no right or wrong way to fall in love; it can occur at first sight as well as on the second or the third meeting, or even several years down the road. But I believe love at first sight can and does exist, even if some of us are lucky enough to have several soul mates in one lifetime. Meeting your soul mate for the first time is something so delicious, exquisite and wonderful we all deserve to experience it.

Sex And The Single Girl: Do You Believe In Love At First Sight

 What do you think? Have you experienced love at first sight?

Images via Mirror.co.uk, Bluelabellife.com.au

September 8, 2015

Sex And The Single Gal: The Disappearing Man Act

Have you ever seriously dated a man and then – poof – just like magic, he literally disappeared?!

Welcome to the Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Man – a puzzling, astonishing, and infuriating phenomenon which often occurs in the dating game, whereby the man you’re knocking socks with will suddenly vanish off the face of the earth.

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It’s happened to me and it’s most likely happened to you, or at least to someone you know. For me, it was a suave, older businessman whom I’d been seriously dating for a few months, who appeared so keen on me he introduced me to both his mother and his teenage son. Long divorced, he seemed like a good guy and eventually wined, dined and seduced me with gusto after we first met at a bar.

He pursued me – not the other way around – and on the day he vanished, he’d even made dinner plans with me, right down to the time he was going to pick me up to head out to a restaurant. When he didn’t show, I rang him on his mobile, genuinely concerned for his welfare.

And after leaving several messages for him – all of which were unreturned – it dawned on me the next day that, shockingly, the dude had disappeared on me.

What a gutless wonder?! Instead of having the balls to tell me he was unhappy, or wasn’t feeling it – anything, something – he’d pulled a vanishing act.

relationships, dating, emotional honesty

Now, when this maddening situation happens to you, you may be inclined – as I was – to over-analyse every detail of your last meeting and/or both yours and his behaviour for clues as to why he did the “Harry Holt”.

Don’t, sister, just don’t – who knows what was going on inside this coward’s head and why? And, even more the point – who the hell cares? The fact of the matter is he’s gone, so dry your tears and get on with the business of being fabulous – at least, that’s my advice.

For, from my experience, you really really don’t want to spend any time pining after or grieving the loss of a man whose cowardice will ultimately be his own undoing. So, let the Houdini disappear and inwardly thank both him, and the universe, for his exit from your life, even if it was painfully undignified. For if he can’t behave like a grown man, and treat you with the respect and emotional honesty you deserve, he ain’t the man for you!

And down the track, you will most likely see the funny side of the situation and happily regale friends with the full story. Hell, I’m actually fairly convinced I may have been a “beard” for my Houdini – his mother was very taken with me, way more than him, clearly! Ha!

relationships, dating, emotional honesty

Relationship experts say it’s worthwhile taking some time out from the dating scene – even fleetingly – to get your mojo back after you’ve been crushed by a disappearing bastardo.

Another key piece of relationship advice on combating wounds caused by  emotionally bankrupt Houdinis is to stay as humanly busy as possible and focus on your loved ones, work and most importantly, yourself.

Take up a new exercise class, or pursue a new passion – most of all, do not chase or stalk, via social media, this cretinous human who deemed you unworthy of both his time and a dignified break-up.

You’re way too fabulous for that, girlfriend! Instead, you can look forward with hope to meeting someone amazing and worthy of you with the heart of a lion, not a mouse.

Here endeth the rant.

Main image via giftsofhisglory.com, secondary image via thisisdesignondesign.blogspot and final image via lacherinsurance.com.

June 17, 2015

Top 5 Life Lessons From The Princess Bride

Cult classic The Princess Bride, which celebrated its 25th anniversary in 2012, still stands the test of time as a hilariously funny fractured fairytale, starring Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Mandy Patinkin and Billy Crystal.

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And if you’ve never seen the iconic “storybook story” about pirates and princess, giants and swordplay, do yourself a favour and check it out; it’s so hugely popular, the comedy/adventure/satire is passed down from generation-to-generation and the film’s stars are still constantly asked to recite certain iconic lines everywhere they go.

And the revered and much-loved film – based on the William Goldman novel The Princess Bride – has now given rise to a new hit book by the man-in-black himself, Cary Elwes, entitled As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride, released last October.

life lessons, life advice, true love
And, as I recently read it, it struck me that The Princess Bride really does impart humourous and important life lessons we can all learn from:

1. “Get Used To Disappointment”: This is one of my favourite witty lines from the movie and serves as a nice reality check. Life can be disappointing, but The Princess Bride also teaches us to always live in hope and believe in true love.

2. “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while”: The Princess Bride reminds us that true love is both rare and valuable. And it’s certainly a nice idea to think it can transcend everything – even death.

3. “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something”: Great life advice again; it pays to always be careful of whose advice you buy, for some people have very false motives.

life lessons, life advice, true love

4. “There’s not a lot of money in revenge”: Sage advice: what does bitterness achieve? No good can come from plotting revenge, certainly not riches, happiness or enlightenment – erm, unless you’re a sword-fighting champion with a vendetta in the film.

5. “Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn’t always fair”: In the film, The Grandfather delivers this stern warning to his grandson. And, this witty one-liner from the twisted fairytale applies to everyday life too: life can be cruel, but we should never waste the pretty and/or lose sight of the good in ourselves, others and the world around us.

Main image via drafthouse.com; secondary image via www.mixiecinema.com; final image via neongods.com.

January 12, 2015

The Art of Love


For most people, sex is an important part of our daily lives. Whether through sexual intercourse, masturbation or fantasy, we define ourselves through sex. Our view of ourselves sexually can determine how we relate to people and can be a powerful force in how we live our lives.

While most people are able to manage the intricacies of sex, it remains a highly complex and often confusing aspect of life. Most people live by the misconception that sex and love are connected. For most women, this is the case, in that their sexual response is closely connected to their emotional response. For men, on the other hand, sex and love are not necessarily connected, although they can be. Most men have an intimate relationship with Mrs. Palmer, although there is obviously little emotional attachment.

In a similar vein, people frequently confuse the act of love and the feeling of the love. Most of us have fallen in love, which is a wondrous and exhilarating feeling of intense eroticism and passion. This is the feeling of love which has nothing to do with the behaviour of love. Most likely, romantic love is a biologically determined mating behaviour to ensure the survival of the human species. Studies show that the rate of intercourse drops precipitously in marriage after approximately 18 to 24 months. This suggests there is some significant change in behaviour and emotions after the honeymoon period.

On the other hand, I would argue that love is a behaviour, not a feeling. The behaviour of loving is listening to your partner when you are not interested, putting their needs before your own, preparing a meal for them, giving them a massage or a thousand other simple acts, many of which may go unnoticed.

Given that this more substantial type of love is a behaviour, you can become more skillful by practice. Love is not just simply a matter of feeling romantic, it is a series of behaviours which you can practise on a daily basis to help you become more skillful at loving. So, while the romantic feeling of being in love is like riding a tidal wave, ultimately the tidal wave recedes and you are left with the day to day issues of living a relationship. It is at this stage that love changes to a more meaningful set of behaviours.

By Dr Love

June 11, 2002