Prepare to want to take many, many showers…
Picture this: It’s holiday season, you’ve been happily single for a year now (by choice, obvs) as you’re far too busy being fabulous, successful and carefree to want a serious relationship just now, but you’ve developed an urgent need for some hot lovin’.
a) Invest in yet another vibrator (yawn)
b) Eat more chocolate cake (like, a lot more)
c) Take up kickboxing to vent your sexual frustration and/or
d) Contemplate a holiday romance, fling or casual sex encounter, whatever term your fancy.
If you answered d), take a deep breath and let’s talk about the “rules”, girlfriend.
Sexologists and relationship experts alike say you’ll want to strongly consider the following hot topics below and/or include them for possible discussion with Mr-Perfect-For-Now if and when you decide to take up a short-term “fuck buddy” over the summer break. Of course, if it’s a one-night night you’d prefer, there probably won’t be a lot of deep and meaningful dialogue.
- Don’t expect cuddling, basking or canoodling after sex. If he bolts straight for the door after the big event, and you’re sure you’re just after casual sex, you need to learn to be OK with this, lady.
- You can’t expect to introduce your booty call to your friends, family or pets. Dude ain’t yours for the keeping (and you don’t want him long-term anyway).
- Be upfront about your expectations and feelings, or lack thereof: sure, relationships can grow out of casual sex, but you’ve got to make sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to love and commitment. Honesty is absolutely key.
- Do not act like a girlfriend and develop a strong emotional attachment to hot casual sex man if you don’t want a relationship. Save yourself (and him) the complication and possible heartbreak; leave your emotions at the door.
- Don’t be greedy and selfish in the bedroom: this is the time to be adventurous, find out what truly blows your hair back and experiment with new sexual positions and/or role play. Just be sure that he’s into it, too.
- Ensure you’re in control of both your emotions and your actions to avoid unsafe scenarios.
- Always, always practice safe sex. Always. Did I mention always? No ifs, ands or buts, if he won’t wear a condom, abort!
What do you think? What are your casual sex rules?
Images via www.someecards.com.
Most men are reluctant about using condoms, but we have a naughty little skill which may be just the thing to change his mind. Hey, if you have to use them, you may as well use them to your advantage, right! Give him a treat and apply it with your mouth. It’s highly recommended for oral sex as well as intercourse.
With so many varieties and flavors on the market, why not have a bit of fun with them. It’s a lot like turning the humble condom into a playful little sex toy. Go for a flavored variety and add your own edible lube otherwise you will end up with a really awful taste in your mouth. There’s nothing sexy about a mouth full of sickly tasting goo!
Now, don’t assume this is going to be easy. You’ll need to practice so grab some cheap condoms because you’ll probably rip a few. There’s a real art to it. After you’ve mastered it, then you can experiment with different varieties. If you start by using ribbed ones, you’ll probably be a bit out of your league. Keep it simple and work toward the tricky stuff later. Seriously, don’t forget edible lube. This makes the condom much easier to apply and provides extra sensitivity for him.
1. Use your hands to take the condom out of the wrapper. Ripping it open with your teeth can puncture it. Yeah, it’s sexy, but it’s a no-no.
2. Unroll it slightly, taking notice of which way it’s unrolling. It needs to unroll as you lower your mouth, so make sure you have it the right way round. Practice this before you put it in your mouth because if it’s the wrong way around, you’ll have to start again.
3. Apply some lube to your lips, inside the tip of the condom and to the tip of your man’s penis. Like we said it does make it easier to apply and make it more sensitive for him, plus it prevents it from breaking.
4. Pinch the tip before you put it in your mouth. If you place it snugly over the top of his penis, there will be nowhere for the semen to go later.
5. This is when you put it in your mouth. This image should help you understand the positioning.
6. Suck the tip in slightly and hold it in place by putting it behind your teeth using your tongue.
7. Now that you have it in place, lower your mouth to the head of his penis. You can use a hand to hold his penis so you are in charge of what’s going on.
8. In one swift motion, lower your mouth so the condom unrolls over his penis. Your lips will basically do the work as you lower your mouth. This motion should unroll the condom and position it correctly. Make sure you keep hold of the tip to keep it empty.
9. Use your tongue to flatten the tip of the condom onto the tip of his penis, leaving room for his ejaculation.
10. Position the condom properly using your mouth and tongue, should it not be sitting correctly.
11. If this isn’t working, use your other hand to position it correctly.
12. Add more lube and you are done!
This will get easier with practice. You might find a way that works better for you, because it is a bit tricky keeping the tip in your mouth as you unroll it with your lips. If you find it gets stuck, add more lube.
Try to keep your teeth out of it. Some people use their teeth to unroll it or position it, but when you use your teeth there is a much greater chance of ripping it.
Lastly, give him plenty of eye contact throughout the entire process. Position yourself so he can see what’s going on. Men enjoy visual stimulation, so make a performance and you’ll never have any protest using condoms ever again!
Image via m4.biz.itc.cn/pic/new/x580/31/86/Img6428631_x580.jpg
Read our interview with Dr Gabrielle Morrissey ? everything you wanted to know about sex (but were afraid to ask).
By Sally Schofield
Buy Urge! from the SheSaid Bookshop.