Why Knowing When To Say Sorry Could Save Your Relationship

Most of us can say sorry to our boss when we’re running late or to a friend for not returning their call. However, it can be a difficult task to say sorry when it really counts – to your significant other. Now I’m not talking about the type of sarcastic apology that is only said to shut the other person up. Those are just counterproductive and are a sure fire way to add to the drama.

RELATED: Why We Need To Say The Words “I Love You”

I’m talking about the type of heart-felt apology which desperately needs to be spoken when you and your partner may have been arguing – whether for hours or even days – with no solution. Obviously when this happens something’s amiss within your relationship. Most couples don’t quarrel over nothing, so there’s usually an underlying issue that seriously needs some fixing.

The problem during heated arguments, however, is that the issue at hand can get contorted with many other factors. Things like name calling, blaming, bringing up past arguments and other negative comments are often thrown back and forth. It can get pretty ugly as many of us would have experienced. Emotions are running rife and it’s incredible how nasty loving couples can be toward each other mid-argument. So understandably it’s not ideal to come out with a half-hearted apology in the midst of chaos.

What’s actually happening is that both of you are passionate about what you want from the other person or your relationship. So during an argument both of you are clearly frustrated because you aren’t being heard, understood, acknowledged or ultimately getting your needs met.

This is usually the primary reason why arguments occur in the first place. It’s a way couples resolve those issues which continue to niggle at them day after day until the problem can’t be ignored any longer. So before either of you get to that heart felt apology there needs to be some type of resolution.

This is when some people need time out to think, while others want the matter resolved immediately. Either way both of you need to stop and think objectively, place yourselves in your partners position and attempt to understand their perspective. It’s when this is achieved that arguments begin to reside and get resolved. Primarily this is when both of you need to apologize to save your relationship.

A key thing to remember is that no one is ever 100 percent in the right or wrong regardless of the situation. People’s behavior however hurtful or destructive is a reaction to events and situations. It does take two people to either make or break a relationship and this is how strong couple’s tackle the most serve problems. Essentially they learn when to back off from an argument, how resolve the issue, plan a way to move forward and admit their own faults to save their relationship.

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How to Get the Most Out of Marriage Counselling

If you and your partner are considering divorce, maybe you should try getting professional relationship advice in the form of marriage counselling first. Also known as couples therapy, this form of marriage guidance can give both of you valuable insights into the troubles plaguing your relationship. Here are some ways counselling could save your marriage.

Identify the problem(s)

You may think the only thing wrong with your marriage is your partner’s long hours at the office or the way he avoids your family, but in most cases, there are issues on both sides, and couples therapy can help you to identify them. Both of you will need to speak up and say what’s bothering you — and listen when your partner does the same. It’s necessary for both partners to agree that there are problems in the relationship as well as acknowledge that they’re part of them.

Be willing to change

It takes two to tango, and it takes cooperation by both parties to repair a damaged marriage. To get the most out of marriage counselling, you must own your part of the conflict and be willing to make the behavioural changes necessary to get the relationship back on track. Each of you must be able to say, “Our marriage is worth saving, and I’ll meet you halfway.”

Have realistic expectations

Some couples expect instant results when they go in for marriage help. Well, sadly things don’t work that way, because you can’t walk into the therapist’s office, toss your credit card on their desk and say, “Fix my marriage now.” Your marriage counsellor does not have a vial of magic fairy dust that they can sprinkle over both of you and instantly solve all of your problems.

Both of you will have to be patient and willing to work on saving your marriage. You must invest time and effort into making your relationship work. Focus on the goal of a lasting marriage in which both partners are happy.

The fact that you’re seeking relationship advice and marriage help is a sign that both of you are serious about staying together and building a new, more solid relationship. A skilled marriage counsellor can help you navigate the stormy waters of a relationship in trouble, but both partners must be willing to put aside past hurts and concentrate on negotiating a more positive partnership. With the right help and a lot of determination, you may be able to make your marriage stronger than ever.

Have you ever tried marriage counselling?