Self-development-2

I Didn’t Know I Was Adopted For 13 Years

The clues were always there, but I never noticed.

March 15, 2016

Why I Stayed With My Physically Abusive Husband

He convinced me that I was worthless.

February 25, 2016

How Self-Belief Can Help You Achieve Your Career Goals

Are you stuck in a rut in a job you despise and/or suffering under a moronic, lazy boss who is literally sucking the life out of you? Are you half expecting to wake up with a grey patch in your hair from all the stress?

If you answered yes, you might need to find your self-belief fast, sister, in order to take a leap of faith and achieve your full careers potential.

RELATED: “My best Ever Career Advice!”

When *Sally, 35, (not her real name) was retrenched from a major media company, she felt sick to her stomach, shocked and utterly lost. What’s more, her former bosses were anything but enthusiastic about her unique skills set, so her self-esteem also took a giant hit.

But as the weeks ticked by and Sally regained her inner strength, composure and sense of humour, she realised being made redundant was actually the best thing to have happened to her in ages. She was bitterly unhappy in her job anyway, detested her misogynistic, bullying middle-manager bosses and felt she’d never really reached her full potential. Redundancy was just the push she needed to achieve her goals.

So, never doubting her abilities, she realised she could now look forward to the future with hope and bag that exciting, new career. She started applying for jobs, and mere weeks later, Sally landed a dream marketing position at a major property firm, thereby doubling her annual salary.

This is a true story, with only the person’s name changed to protect their privacy.

career advice, career goals, self-belief

Psychologists say self-belief is vital in achieving our career goals in 2015 and living our best life, with passion and gusto.

Why? Because if you truly believe in yourself and that you can achieve what you set out to do – ala Sally – you will have the motivation to move forward to achieve your goals and the determination to overcome whatever obstacles stand in your way. Conversely, if you don’t believe in your ability to achieve, you’ll give up when the first hurdle arises or worse – you won’t get started at all.

What’s more, calculated risks can really pay off, just like Sally’s, and really help you achieve your goals.

But, of course, with great change comes unease. It can take a lot of courage to embrace change because it’s often challenging to move out of our comfort zone, but for many, it has proven to be well worth the effort.

Before embarking on a new career, job experts say to carefully research your options and think about what you really love doing – find a job that excites you. And, if like Sally, you’ve encountered some “haters” along the way – bosses who undermine and underestimate you – you gotta rise above, the experts say.

After all, most of us at some stage have come across someone who, for their own reasons, wants to put us down. Maybe your bosses feel threatened by your potential success or just don’t want you to succeed?

Self-belief will also get you through this. If you believe that you can achieve something you will be able to ignore the nay-sayers and achieve your goals in spite of them.

And one final bit of advice from careers experts: do all you can to avoid these people as much as possible and instead seek out positive mentors and friends who will inspire you and encourage you to achieve your full potential.

Go get em’, tiger!

career advice, career goals, self-belief

Main image via www.cseba.eu; secondary image via www.renewable-health-site.com and final image via www.thegrindstone.com

September 18, 2015

How To Boost Your Self Confidence

Let’s face it… there’s no quick fix which will automatically give you good confidence overnight. There are a few different factors which contribute to having a great self-esteem and even better confidence, one of which is age. If you’re looking to boost your confidence in the long-term, then the following tips might be of good use to you and your friends!

RELATED: The Greatest Love of All – How To Foster Self Love

Get healthy

How many men and women are actually happy about their body? It’s probably hard to find someone who likes everything about themselves… and if you do, that’s great! Keep fit and healthy by nourishing your body from the inside out – we’re not suggesting you #cleaneat and exercise every single day. Try and incorporate a few different super-foods into your diet, and see what works.

Fake it

For many of us, good confidence comes from sucking it up and pretending that we already have it. This is just a fact of life! Make more eye contact, contribute to a conversation and let your voice be heard.

Take up a hobby

Hobbies are a great way to meet new friends, stay healthy, and interact on a weekly basis. This might be a little tough if you’re a new mum, but search for activities which will work around you and your newborn. Then you will have something consistent to look forward to, and build a new network of friends along the way!

Positive thoughts

This might be a little difficult for all the pessimists out there (don’t hate, I’m also one!), but positive thoughts go a long way. Rather than dwelling on all the negative, think and partake in activities which will actually make the most of your time. Sitting around on Facebook complaining about others isn’t exactly an attractive trait… right?

Learn more

Education is always important, long-after you’ve finished university, Tafe or even a vocational course. I certainly didn’t enjoy university (the first, or second time), but maybe a short course is exactly what you need. If you’re scared to go it alone – bring a friend! You will learn so much more about yourself, and have some fun doing it.

Look the part

Sometimes a big part of feeling good on the inside, is looking good on the outside. Re-vamp your wardrobe, sell a few of those clothes you never wear, donate the rest, give yourself a face mask, take a bubble bath… these are all great ways to pamper yourself during a rough patch.

What are some of your tips to boost self-confidence?

Image via Softpedia

June 2, 2015

Throwback Thursday: Re-energize Your Career Goals

January 11, 2005

We show you how by conducting a personal stocktake, deciding where you want to be, making a plan and staying on track with that plan you can increase your career success.

Conduct a personal stocktake
Assess where you are and what have you achieved in the past 12 months. Make a list and consider: What were the highs? What were the lows? What did you enjoy the most? What did you achieve career-wise? Have you achieved a good work/life balance?

Where would you like to be?
Now that you have assessed your progress, start to think about where you would like to be in your career and personal life. Be completely open and honest with yourself by listing all of your dreams and goals. Even list the things that may be out of your reach.

Set about making a plan
Now that you have assessed what you have achieved in the past and what you want to achieve in the future, start to make a plan of how you can get to where you really want to be. Consider what steps you have to take from where you are today in order to get to where you ultimately want to be.

Work out what you have to do to get to the position you desire in your career and life. Then think about how long it will take to get there. Plan out what you have to achieve in the year and then break it down to what you have to do each month, and even each week.

How to stay on track with your plan
We all know from experience that it is one thing to have a great plan but a whole other thing to actually stick to the plan.

The following are some tips to keep you focused on your plan and ultimately achieve your objectives:

  • Make it fun – As Ita Buttrose once said: “If you love your job, then you never have to work another day in your life.” Use this concept when setting goals find fun ways to achieve the things you want to achieve
  • Get a coach – Hire a professional coach to keep you on track. If you can’t afford a coach right now then get a friend to help, someone who is creative and motivating, and someone who will keep you on track and help you to enjoy the process
  • Set achievable goals – Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting goals that are too high. Start by setting small goals and reward yourself each time that you achieve one of the goals
  • Remember it takes 21 days to form a new habit. If you remember this then it will help you to get through those tough days
  • Self-analyse – Each day analyse your progress, what did you do well what could you have done better. Be kind but thorough in your self analysis
  • Visualise success – Imagine yourself having achieved the goal or objective. Think about how you will feel
  • Assess your progress throughout the year

This article was written by Lisa O’Brien from Careerscoach, which specialises in career coaching, interview training, corporate coaching, life coaching and job seeker applications

March 12, 2015

How To Motivate Yourself

“You can do anything if you put your mind to it.” How many times have you heard that in your life? It’s usually from older relatives, who you don’t want to admit have life experience and may actually be onto something, but if you’re looking to motivate yourself to achieve a particular goal, you should listen to their wise words.

RELATED: How to create more time in your day

Whether it’s getting back into the gym, renovating your house or changing your career, motivation can often be hard to gather, especially when you’re tired, busy or comfortable. But we should always be challenging ourselves to go above and beyond, so here are our top tips to get motivated!

Write it down

Write down what it is you want to achieve so that you have a clear goal in mind. Once you’ve written that down, add in smaller steps that can build up to your goal, for example, if you’re looking to lose five kilograms, your steps would start with things like easing yourself off naughty food and going doing some form of exercise three times per week for one month. When you break down a bigger task into smaller ones, it makes it more manageable and you’re more likely to try and complete the steps.

Write down why you want to achieve your goal as well. You could accompany this with pictures that you find inspiring. This may help you when you’re a bit lost and feel like giving up. Knowing why you want to do something and having this written down reminds you of the end result and how you’ll feel, which is the most important part.

Get a planner

Planning your day is a key part of achieving your goal. Putting a small amount of time, even ten minutes into working towards your goal makes you focus on it more and can make you want to work harder. Planning your day also gives you better time management which will give you more free time to work towards what you’re after and also have some me-time.

Have fun

Leave some time to enjoy yourself. What you are motivating yourself for should be your passion, but you still need time to relax and recuperate. Letting go and having fun will help you to unwind, which will make you available to work harder to achieve your goals.

Make healthy decisions

No matter what your goal is, you should always be treating your body with respect and fuelling it efficiently for you to function. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly will make you feel great, improve your energy and get you in the great mood that you need to get working.

Invest in the right tools

Make your environment supportive of your goal. By investing in the right tools, such as a computer or a gym membership, you are empowering yourself to go ahead. A great environment will have you itching to use your great tools, which will in turn, achieve great results. Not having efficient tools can kill your motivational drive.

Image via motivateplay.com

March 6, 2015

Scrap Those Resolutions: 4 ‘Better You’ Goals for 2014

With it being halfway through January, most of us have already made our New Year’s resolutions – and promptly started to neglect them. So rather than sweating over the guilt from breaking our own half-hearted promises to look like Lara Bingle by March, why not use this year to improve yourself in a less predictable fashion. Here are my top suggestions for self development – no diet required.

Read more
From making you more empathetic to staving off Alzheimer’s disease, regular reading does wonders for your brain and state of mind. Studies have shown that reading can be therapeutic by assisting in the reduction of stress, while improving your mood; so rather than trying to switch off after a big day by watching telly, curl up with a good book – evidence suggests you’ll sleep better for it too. And it’s not all rest and relaxation, despite being a super soothing pastime, your brain is actually hard at work. Reading improves your memory, expands your vocabulary and builds your analytical skills – all while you’re chilling out. So for a brain boosting resolution, get between the covers.

Learn to cook
For me, learning to cook not only established my independence once I had moved out, but also became a creative outlet. Learning new dishes expands your knowledge of cultures and tastes, but is also a great way of gaining an understanding of nutrition and health. Nurturing yourself and the people around you with home cooking is a wonderful way to bring people together, but also expand your skills. Currently I’m loving When French Women Cook, a gastro-memoir by Madeleine Kamman.

Create a savings plan
Savings is an essential element of a working life. Whether it’s about putting pennies aside for a dream holiday, or starting your own nest egg, savings can make a huge difference. As a general rule, putting ten per cent of every paycheck aside is a perfect start; it’s too little to feel you’re depriving yourself of your hard earned funds, but enough to build upon. It’s a fact of life that there will be unexpected costs, having savings works as a security net to save you from hitting the credit cards too hard if things do go belly up, and are a brilliant motivator to help you achieve your goals. Try setting up an automatic transfer every time you get paid, then before you know it you’ll have a reserve.

Learn a language
Besides being somewhat sexy and exotic, a new language can give you an all-round better brain. Studying a language means you’re better able to understand the subtle nuances of words that can sway our feelings. This means you’ll be able to make more rational choices and, as studies have shown, build more sophisticated decision-making skills. Bilingual people have been shown to be superior at multitasking and focusing too, so odds are you’ll be better and more effective at work (and play). You’ll have a sharpened grasp of your first language too and significantly reduce your likelihood of dementia. Organised and sexy? Can’t wait.

What new goals have you set for yourself this year?

Kate Jones blogs about writing and pop culture at Calvicle Capitalism.

January 16, 2014

How To Quit Bitching

Have you ever monitored your daily bitching?

I recently tried a bitch-free month where I was forbidden to speak or write in negative terms about anyone.  Oh, how virtuous and high horsey of you, I hear you groan. Perhaps my motivations began being slightly high horsey, but what I discovered about the power behind trash talk was bigger than I thought.

Let me say, it was an extremely challenging mission and took colossal amounts of will and determination to curb my relentless enthusiasm for negative natter. Initially I thought that eliminating my trash talk about other people would be as simple as just stopping the behaviour, but then it dawned on me that some relationships I had with certain people were based on trash talk. It didn’t seem like bitching and if we stretched the truth we could certainly say we were just ‘bouncing ideas about other people off each other’.

Yet the truth of it was, it was negative and served no one, especially not us.  It was a petty waste of time born from some shameful attempt at trying to make us feel better about ourselves by judging other people.

Beyond the obvious sentiments that bitching is no good for anyone, and that women will never gain equality until we stop talking about each other behind each other’s backs; I discovered much more.

After attempting to stop engaging in any negative speak about people, I began to censor all of my communication. “Does this sound negative?”…“could that be construed as bitching?” It wasn’t just people I had to stop talking about, I realised it was everything: events, work situations, family matters and even my depressing view of current politics.   Analysing the tone and content of my texts, emails and phone calls was a very sobering exercise. Even when I was not speaking negative about anyone, a hint of complaint, blame and judgment was lurking and wanting to nuzzle into conversations.  This was huge.

The ‘aha’ moment came to me when after just a few days of not speaking negatively about things; my attitude began to change about my life in current time.  My world became a nicer place.

I am not one who believes that we should only have positive thoughts. An ability to judge the world around us is a survival skill that no one should abandon. However, there comes a point when our addiction to negativity could potentially be the cause of us not getting what we truly want.

“If we fall into the habit of bitching and whinging, we start to believe our own spin, this then shapes our brain so we then process all of the input into our brain through a negative bitching lens,” says psychologist Jodi Nilsson.

So, it’s by no means some mystical energetic realm that by positive thoughts bring positive outcomes, but something more simplistic. We do create our own reality via our own thoughts.

If you find yourself judging, bitching or complaining, just stop for a while and see what happens.

Do you think society bitches and complains too much?

Deanna Coleman is the founder of eco news and sustainable food website Cook My Way.

September 25, 2013