Self-esteem-2

8 Ways To Cure A Constantly Bloated Belly

Because no one should have to take recluse in bed every time they eat. 

April 7, 2017

How To Be Your Own Best Friend

Because you deserve the best.

March 29, 2017

6 Ways You’re Unintentionally Selling Yourself Short In Your Love Life

You deserve better – even if you don’t know it.

March 2, 2017

Here’s How Social Media Is Ruining Your Romantic Relationships

You might want to think twice before posting that status update.

December 21, 2016

13 Reasons Donald Trump Is Bad News For Women If He Becomes President

If Trump is elected, womankind is in deep trouble.

November 3, 2016

14 Signs You’ve Accidentally Lost Your Identity To Your Relationship

Being yourself should make your relationship better.

July 14, 2016

I Felt Worthless In My 20s, So I Faked It Till I Made It

Accepting myself was like learning to ride a bike.

May 26, 2016

Here’s How Real Women Rate Their Physical Appearances

I’m thinking of a number between one and ten…

January 26, 2016

Do Men REALLY Like Self Confident Women?

Because we know you’ve all wondered…

January 18, 2016

13 Times Amy Schumer Perfectly Summed Up Dating In Your 20s

“Sometimes I really just do feel like a mess and slutty and out of control.”

November 6, 2015

Sex And The Single Girl: Singleton Sanity Savers

“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it” – Carrie Bradshaw.

Sassy, smart, beautiful, single women, one and all: stand tall! Are you feeling plagued by the pressure to constantly explain why you’re flying solo? This is a very common complaint from single women I know. Indeed, when I was single, I too felt hassled by the need to incessantly justify why I was unattached, whether it be to a colleague, family member or a friend. Even perfect strangers at social occasions will have no qualms about asking you, in full condescending tone: “So, why are you still single?”

Being single is a powerful, positive choice for many women – after all, there ain’t no better time to find out what you want in life and in a partner, than when you have to stand on your own two feet and learn to like your own company. Leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein, 28, who is happily single herself, says she’s often forced to defend her singleton status.

“There are so many positives in my life to being single in my 20s, but people still comment negatively on it all the time,” Dr Goldstein says. “Women should never be ashamed to be single. It can be a very positive choice – you do not need to be loved by someone to have high self-esteem.” But how do you stay sane as a singleton, no matter whether you’re happily dating or not, when rogue relatives/colleagues/strangers are killing your buzz?

Short of telling said nosey, conservative types you’re batting for the other team (not that there’s anything wrong with that) in a bid to silence and/or shock them, you may want to try these quick and easy Singleton Sanity Savers:

Quote marriage stats: Make the Australian Bureau of Statistics your friend. The next time sleazy, old Uncle Graham asks you why you’re still single, try boring him senseless with endless divorce statistics. For example, “Did you know, Uncle G (insert relative name here), that approximately one in three first marriages end in divorce? And, in 2012, there were 49,917 divorces granted in Australia; that’s a two per cent increase compared to 2011?”

Turn the tables: This was a personal favourite of mine, when single – the next time some smug married (may I never be one of those) asks you why you aren’t married and knocked up, ask them loudly and pointedly to the point of rudeness: “How’s your love-life? Had much hot sex lately?” That should do the trick quite nicely.

Tell tall stories: Climbed Mt Everest lately? Travelled to the Valley of the Kings and Queens in Egypt? Been parasailing, paragliding or skydiving? If you answered no to these questions, fret not – life can be a grand adventure when single, and chances are, the person giving you a hard time about your lifestyle choice will be jealous of all your free time, no matter whether you put it to good use exploring the Seven Wonders of the World. So, exploit this by telling tall tales about what you got up to on the weekend and your exciting plans for the future.

Images via wikipedia.org

September 21, 2015

The Era Of The Booty: Bootylicious Rising

I have what is commonly called a ‘ghetto booty’. It gets comments wherever I go. Co-workers have literally lined up to give it a cheeky pinch – at my invitation, of course. People are astounded by its firm feel and perky look. I call it, “The Girls” and joke that everything that was supposed to go to my boobs went to my behind. What’s unique about my body is the proportions. My top half is a size 8-10. My bottom half is a 14. My figure is like something out of the Victorian era and I own it.

RELATED: How To Develop A Better Body Image

However, it’s only over the last two years that I have developed body confidence. I used to do everything to disguise my rear. Long skirts, A-line dresses; I didn’t own a pair of jeans. I constantly lamented the fact that my bottom was not proportionate to my top. This is because, for much of the 2000s, it was the height of fashion to have a flat butt. Australia has a beach culture, so go figure.

At the end of 2012, something happened that changed my life. By some wonderfully bizarre twist of fate, I started working on a film in the USA. I arrived a few days before filming, and around the hotel I wore tights and circle skirts. However, being on location required something more practical, so I took a deep breath and did something I hadn’t done for years…donned a pair of jeans.

Nobody noticed what I was wearing, until, walking past the hair and makeup trailer, I heard: “Dayumm, girl, what’ve you been hiding underneath those dresses?!” It was the head hair stylist, an African American gentleman, and one of my favourite people in the film crew. He was looking at me with a combination of awe and wonder.

“What do you mean?!” I asked.

“Girl!” he repeated, throwing up his hands, “I did not recognise you! I thought, ‘Who is that girl built like a brick wall?!’” By now, some of the other makeup artists had emerged and were nodding enthusiastically.

“Yeah! Why you been hiding that?!” one of the girls asked.

“Hiding what?” I replied.

“That BOOTY!” another continued. What followed was a storm of praise, because in America, especially in African American culture, having a ghetto booty is the most desirable thing a girl can possess. They told me that I had literally been sitting on my greatest asset (pun fully intended). And I had NO IDEA. I went back to Australia with a spring in my step. A world of self-esteem had opened up – although I still disguised my posterior during 2013.

But then… 2014 happened.

All of a sudden, booties were everywhere. Nicky Minaj was grinding up a storm. Kimmy K broke the internet with her gleaming derriere. Twerking was the new Macarena – and I took full advantage of it. I tossed my long skirts and worked the short dresses. I lived in jeans and high heels. I will now wear anything to make my butt look more prominent and when somebody stares at ‘The Girls’ with that bewildered, trance-like expression, I stick it out and swagger.

I’m not saying that thin bodies aren’t desirable. If you’re blessed with lovely petite hips, that’s fabulous. Own it. But holy hell, am I glad the tide has turned. Let’s be honest; it’s not enough to just say: “Love your body no matter what.” The road to body-confidence is longer than that. If society, for whatever reason, is now (finally) celebrating varied body types, I’m rolling with it. So ladies; whether you’re a willowy waif, or you’ve got a booty like a Cadillac, work it with pride.

Image via Emaze.com

August 17, 2015

The Fine Line Between Sexy And Skanky

A prominent fact of life is that all people judge each other by how they look and what they wear. Some people attempt to be consciously non-judgmental and try to look past appearances, but they still make unconscious decisions based on initial impressions on whether a person is a potential friend or foe. This phenomenon goes back to the time of the dinosaurs and it’s ultimately how the human race has survived.

It’s due to the importance of making a good impression that people generally take care of how they present themselves. Yes, there are times when you just want to sleuth out so some situations are more important than others, like going for an interview, a night out on the town or going on a date.

During these times if you are aiming for that sexy and sophisticated look and are actually leaning toward skanky, you will be repealing the type of life opportunities you deserve. The most imperative thing in these situations is to know the difference.

So what are they? Firstly, the difference between sexy and skanky is attitude related. Regardless of how you look, if you feel and behave like God’s gift to men, you are probably projecting yourself as skanky. Sexy, sophisticated women don’t pounce, they lure and there lies the big difference.

Traditionally, males are the hunters and that still applies to the battle of the sexes when it comes to work and play. Whether you are being interviewed for a job, at a club or on a date, the majority of men don’t like to be chased. Regardless of the advancement Feminism has made, men still judge women who chase them and prefer the company of women who don’t.

Now, apart from attitude and behavior, how you look adds to the art of luring and seduction. Sexy, sophisticated women have this down pat. When it comes to how they present themselves, less is certainly not more and if you want people to notice your brain instead of your boobs, don’t shove them out there for everyone to see.

Sexy women show just enough cleavage to be alluring, dress their age, add make-up only to enhance their natural beauty, limit accessories and emulate femininity. They avoid revealing clothing like ultra short shorts, skirts or dresses, exceptionally plunging necklines and items which look more like lingerie. They also know how to style footwear. For example; many people refer to long full length boots as cum-fuck-me-boots. If you are going to wear them you need to know what message they are sending and how to style them with elegance and grace.

So, unless you’re heading down to the beach, cover up a bit and let the imagination work its magic. I’m not being a prude either. After years of experience, having male friends, work colleagues and a couple of long term partners, I have an excellent insight into the way they think. It’s not just men either. Other women are probably your most cynical critics and many will notice if you look skanky.

If you are unsure before you step out the door, check out how you look in the mirror. If you’re about to have a wardrobe malfunction and your breasts are about to leap out of your top, stop! If you bend over and get a peek of your underwear, (lets hope you are wearing some) stop! Turn around and choose something else. Plus, if your makeup has you looking like someone else, you are probably overdoing it.

Lastly, it doesn’t matter if you are 19 or 69, if you look skanky instead of sexy, it will make other people uncomfortable. That will limit valuable life opportunities, including jobs, friendships and relationships. Sure, you might get a fair bit of attention, but you need to aim for positive attention to ultimately get the best out of life.

Good luck!

Image via cmarchuska.com

December 13, 2014

Why You Never Deserve Male Violence And Bullying

Angie, 36, feels trapped in a toxic relationship because her physically and emotionally abusive, long-term boyfriend earns a lot of money and controls the finances. Years of degrading comments have left her feeling hopeless, worthless and powerless to leave him.

Jane, 25, is young, successful and slim, but stays with her emotionally abusive boyfriend, who constantly tells her she’s fat and stupid, because she’s scared of being alone and has started to believe his taunts about never being able to find someone better to love her.

Sophie, 45, has endured years of domestic violence, physical sexual and emotional, at the hands of her long-time husband, but is scared of leaving him because she’s worried about what further harm he’ll do to her and their three kids, and besides, the AVO she took out against him hasn’t worked anyway.

RELATED: Escaping Domestic Violence

Male bullying and violence can take many varied and insidious forms, but know this dear reader – you never, ever deserve it. And while the above names may be fake, to protect the innocent and safeguard people’s privacy, sadly the scenarios are not – they’re all recent, real-life examples.

Widespread male violence and bullying can be from a brother, father, or a partner; sadly, violence against women is one of the most widespread human rights abuses in Australia and around the world. In fact, one in three Australian women will experience violence in an intimate relationship.

self-help, self-esteem, domestic violence

And while I’m sure I don’t need to bombard you with many further grim domestic violence statistics here – for violence against women is so widespread and ingrained in our society that most women will know others in the above situations or experience such abuse themselves – it is noteworthy that domestic violence is the biggest cause of homelessness for Australian women.

And when you’re young and naive, you might think you can change a partner; make them a better person capable of kicking their abusive ways. But as you mature, you will hopefully come to realise, as I had to in my early 20s, that that’s not your job and you deserve so much more than they could ever give you.

And speaking of what we women deserve, just this past weekend I was so saddened to read a newspaper report about how a 16-year-old rising Romanian tennis player said she “deserved” to be violently assaulted by her abusive father (also her coach) because she’d played badly.

How did it come to this, that women feel they bring male violence and bullying on themselves? And what makes a man, as my vile, middle-aged neighbour did recently, ever think it’s OK to verbally abuse a woman, from the street outside her home, over fallen palm fronds in his yard post-storm?

I pride myself on being a strong woman, but even I shrunk back into the shadows of my lounge room when this nutter decided to hurl abuse at me at 9am on a Sunday, all while my husband was away and I was breakfasting with my two toddlers in the supposed safety of my own home! And so I went in search of answers from a clinical psychologist, who wishes to remain anonymous, over this difficult issue.

I hope you find her expert, wise answers as illuminating and helpful as I did.

abuse, violence, victim, love, survival, thriving, help, government and welfare agencies

Why is male violence and bullying so prevalent in society? Unfortunately, often boys grow up thinking it’s OK to use their strength and size to get what they want and they continue this bullying behaviour into adulthood because they find that it works; they can dominate and intimidate to get what they want. It may be more likely in boys who lack good verbal skills as they feel more competent using intimidation rather than discussion.

How do we teach women they never “deserve” to be abused, whether physically, sexually or emotionally? Of course no woman (or child) deserves to be abused! No one “deserves” abuse and no one has the right to abuse others. Of course, it does happen for reasons mentioned above. Perpetrators often abuse women for trivial things and make them believe they are stupid, incompetent, clumsy or whatever. This make the perpetrator feel strong/powerful/in control. Women with a reasonable sense of self-esteem can counteract this with an appropriate comment, but women who lack self confidence, are fearful or who feel helpless will take such put-downs to heart and feel even more disempowered. Addressing the DV or abuse would involve helping the woman to believe in their own worth and not accept bullying and abuse.

How do women being abused best seek for help? Talk to anyone and everyone – friends, family, DV help lines and if it doesn’t stop, the police. Bring the abuse out into the open because it’s more likely to escalate if kept hidden. Unfortunately, women often don’t like to talk about it if they are being abused because they often feel a sense of shame. Perpetrators often make their victims believe it is the woman’s fault. Abused women are often lacking in self-esteem so agencies that work with abused women will help them to build their self-esteem.

Why are some female victims so scared and reluctant to seek help? How can we better support these women? The reality is that some perpetrators make terrible threats against them and their children and women have good reason to be afraid. Usually abuse in a family starts with something small and gradually escalates. That’s why it’s important to address the abuse as soon as it begins, with a clear message that it’s not ok. But it’s not easy and women should never be judged for not speaking up. Perpetrators sometimes threaten to harm/kill the woman and/or her children if they seek outside help, so it’s fear of the repercussions if they speak up that prevents them.

How can mothers better educate their sons not to abuse women? The way in which the father and other significant other male role models treat and speak to and about women is very important. If these male role models set an example of respectful treatment of women then boys are likely to internalise this, just as they will internalise disrespect and abuse of women. It’s not inevitable though – boys can make a conscious decision to be different from their fathers.

If you are experiencing male violence and/or bullying in any of its forms, seek help via The National Domestic Violence Hotline via www.thehotline.org; and/or www.somethingincommon.gov.au, and/or Lifeline on 13 11 14 and www.lifeline.org.au.

Human Rights Day

 

Main image via gretchenmiller.wordpress.com and secondary image via www.pixabay.com

December 10, 2014

7 Steps To Being More Kind On World Kindness Day

Feel like you need to check your attitude? Perhaps you have a longing to give back to those in need. On November 13, take part in World Kindness Day by trying these simple gestures to make the world a little better.

RELATED: How to Get Motivated – and Stay That Way

  1. Smile

Ever noticed how depressed people look on the morning commute to work? We try to avoid our fellow passengers like they’re carrying a deadly virus instead of embracing that you’re all doing the same thing, you’re all trying to get by. Next time somebody boards your train and is looking for a place to sit, move your handbag and smile – you never know whose day you will improve.

  1. Give somebody a compliment

Too often we think nice things about our friends, family, co-workers, even strangers and we never tell them. Why? Tell the people you love that you love them, the people you respect, that you respect them, and that the girl or guy you pass on the way into the office looks nice today.

  1. Go out of your way to help

If you see somebody looking lost on the street, ask if they need directions. Clean the house for your house mates. If you’re making coffee at work, offer your co-workers. If someone you know is down, give them a call and listen to what they have to say.

  1. Donate blood

Don’t have the money, but have your health? Head to the hospital or your local blood drive and make a donation. A blood donation could be worth more to someone than money. Although, if you do have a few spare dollars, giving them to a worthy organisation will always help.

  1. Clean our your closet

We all have clothes in our closet that we never wear, no matter how many times we say we will. On World Kindness Day, give your excess belongings to charity or offer them to a friend. Be realistic about what you want and need – and let go of the things you don’t.

  1. Care for the environment

Being kind to the environment is like spreading kindness to future generations. If you see some person’s empty coffee cup on the bus, pick it up and put it in the bin. You could also plant a tree, have a meat-free day, or sort through your recycling.

  1. Be Kind to yourself

While most of us don’t find it difficult being kind to others, we struggle finding the right words to say to ourselves. Forgive your mistakes, trust yourself to make good decisions, and remind yourself that you are just fine and fabulous the way you are.

World Kindness Day is part of an international movement promoting kindness and goodwill. To find out more about the event and what you can do, visit The World Kindness Movement website.

November 10, 2014

Why You Need A Passion Project

It’s summer, time for new beginnings. What have you wanted to do for a while and it’s never been the right time? This can become your passion project, something that you choose to do just because you want to. It doesn’t need to have a specific goal in mind, what’s important is that you enjoy the process.

What could your passion project be? Maybe, learn Italian. Or go for a walk every day. Write a book. Meditate. Dance. Volunteer for a charity. Anything that you feel drawn to explore.

RELATED: How To Find Time For Your Creative Projects

Why do you need a passion project?

More confidence

By taking time out for something you want to do for yourself, you’re sending out the message to yourself and to the world that you’re important and your desires matter. You believe in yourself more and you behave with more confidence in all interactions, not just the ones that are related to your passion project.

More energy

A few years ago I came across this definition of strength by Marcus Buckingham and it turned my world around. “A strength is an activity that makes you feel strong.” It’s not necessarily what you’re naturally good at, it’s not something that you’ve practiced to perfection, but an activity that you enjoy, energises you and makes you feel stronger. We don’t always use enough of our strengths in our day-to-day lives and that’s why we’re often tired and overwhelmed. A passion project will help you discover what your strengths are, give you more energy and build up the skills to bring more of your strengths into the rest of your life.

Creative flow

In your passion project you lose your attachment to results, which opens the gate for creative discoveries. You give yourself permission to learn and make mistakes, and as you experiment, you may find unexpected ideas pop into your mind that solve problems at work or in your personal life. Your creative exploration may lead to a side business or a new career, but even if it doesn’t, it will feed your creativity.

Better relationships

When you work on something that gives you fulfilment, you feel happier and everyone around you benefits. You laugh more, complain less and become a nicer person to be around (as my family will confirm).

A passion project doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment. You can choose a fixed period of time, a week, a month or 90 days, to give it a go. Then you can decide if you want to continue with it or try something else. You’ve got nothing to lose and the benefits will surprise you. So what’s your passion project?

Image by iamrubenjr via pixabay.com

October 15, 2014

How To Raise A Confident Girl

Building self-confidence and high self-esteem is a key aspect of a child’s development – it helps them to face challenges and learn new skills as they grow up.  The impact of having low self-esteem can sometimes lead to negative behaviour such as bullying, drinking, the use of drugs and can also contribute to a child developing an eating disorder.

Growing up in today’s society is tough for young girls.  They are constantly being subjected to unrealistic physical standards and over-sexualised women in the media.  We want to encourage young girls to make positive choices and we want them to be the best they can be.  So in order for them to become confident, self-assured and develop high self-esteem here are some tips that can help.

Tell them they can achieve anything

Having a positive attitude and telling young girls that they can achieve anything they put their mind to is much more of a confidence booster than telling them they can’t do something.  More often than not, if they shoot for the stars, they will reach them.

Never put down your body in front of her

If your daughter sees that you are unhappy with your body image, she may mirror that feeling herself.  Love your body no matter the shape and size and she will grow to love hers too.

Encourage them to play sports

Encourage your daughter to get outside and play sports rather than spending her spare time inside, addicted to social media.  Playing sports gives her an opportunity to overcome challenges and it also teaches her the positive effects that exercise has on her body.

Encourage them to solve problems on their own

Don’t be too quick to jump in and solve your daughter’s problems for her.  Work through the situation with her and get her to suggest ways of overcoming her problem.  Give her guidance but ultimately put the ball back in her court so she can solve it for herself.

Limit their exposure to social media when they are young

By restricting how much exposure young girls have to social media it forces them to use their own imagination and develop their own ideas.  There is also less chance of them being caught up cyberbullying and suffering from lack of sleep which can lead to other problems.

Compliment them and give them praise

Give your daughter praise for little achievements such as helping around the house, reading a book or drawing a picture and delegate age appropriate duties around the home that will make her feel like she is valuable.  Small tasks such as setting the table, feeding the dogs or ordering the takeaways over the phone gives her some responsibility and develops self-confidence.

Point out positive female role models

Teach young girls about female role models that they can look up to.  They could be famous actresses, politicians or even friends and family around you that possess the qualities you want your daughter to have.  Most importantly though, ensure that you are being a good role model for your daughter.  Remember – “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” ― James Baldwin

Image via expertbeacon.com

By Karyn Miller

June 20, 2014

Is Your Child Being Bullied?

Bullying causes severe emotional harm and if overlooked it can slowly eat away at a child’s self-esteem leaving them feeling worthless and unimportant.  Whether it is physical abuse or verbal abuse the outcome in the long run can still be the same – the person is left feeling lonely, anxious and depressed. 

I will never forget when I was bullied in my first year of high school.  I was short and my backpack was almost the same size as I was, and I remember being taunted by two girls who were older than me because of it.  Luckily for me it didn’t go on for long, probably because the bullies found someone else to taunt instead, but I never told anyone about it apart from my husband a few years ago and now all of you. Then it got me thinking, if I didn’t tell anyone at the time how would anyone have known that I was being bullied?  Were there any obvious signs?  Now that I have two small children of my own, I want to be sure I know the red flags to look out for when they head off to primary school and into the big wide world.  I don’t want them to suffer the same humiliation that I did, although these days it seems to be a growing trend. According to a survey conducted in 2013 of 20,000 Australian students in Years 4–9, 27% of them said they were bullied every few weeks or more during a school term. 

Here are some signs that your child may be suffering at the hands of a bully:

  • They come home from school with physical injuries – bruises and scratches for which they have no valid explanation
  • Your child is reluctant to go to school, maybe always trying to convince you that they don’t feel well and they need to stay home
  • Your child generally talks about hating school
  • They keep losing school items, clothes, lunch money or personal items
  • There has been a change to their sleep pattern.  Are they finding it hard to sleep, are they having nightmares or are they suddenly wetting the bed?
  • Your child may suddenly be getting into trouble at school and acting out
  • They are over eating or have a sudden loss of appetite
  • They appear noticeably withdrawn and their self-esteem has decreased
  • Their grades are suddenly slipping
  • Your child may have attempted to run away or even talked about suicide

If you suspect your child is being bullied try talking to them about it. Understandably, most children will probably reject your claims in fear of being humiliated or not wanting to be seen as a tattletale, so if that fails try asking one of their close friends or arrange a meeting with one of their teachers.  If there is no one you feel that you can turn to try calling a parent line or getting in contact with a trained medical professional who will be able to discuss your concerns. 

When I look back at the girls who bullied me now I laugh, because I’m happy and successful. I’ve had dreams and I’ve fulfilled them and there have been obstacles but I’ve overcome them. It almost motivated me to prove that I could become a better person than they ever would be. But for some children who are bullied and even the smallest of signs are left unnoticed they slip into a state of self-loathing and despair. Don’t ignore the signs. If you know that something isn’t quite right, talk to someone about it, before it’s too late.

Image via huffingtonpost.com

By Karyn Miller

June 13, 2014

Sex And The Single Girl: Why Flying Solo’s Good For You

When Sex and the City sexpot Samantha Jones broke up with her hot lover, Smith, with these immortal words: “I love you, but I love me more,” she took one giant step for womanhood in how single women were portrayed in popular culture. For the fictional character Samantha (Kim Cattral) reflected what we smart, sassy women in real life have known all along: being single can be a positive choice; it is far better to be alone than stay in an unhealthy relationship with Mr Wrong.

What young, single woman wants to be spending their valuable time with a partner who doesn’t blow their socks off? Yet, for many women, being single can still attract a lot of negative stereotypical nonsense from our families and our peers. Indeed, society as a whole still tends to view single women as repellent and abnormal. Leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein, 28, who is happily single herself, puts this down to the fact that singletons challenge the status quo.

“There are so many positives in my life to being single in my 20s, but people still comment negatively on it all the time,” Dr Goldstein says. “There is still a real social stigma that women of a certain age should be married and have kids. There’s a question of ‘what’s wrong with you’ if you are single. ‘Are you too high maintenance, do you put your job priority No.1?’

“We as a society still have a very old-fashioned procreation model of sex. Why can’t a single woman be happy?! No one encourages women to do what men do, such as masturbate – it challenges men’s masculinity too much. A lot of men want women who are needy because they have self-esteem issues.”

So, how do the increasing numbers of single women challenge these outdated societal views? And how do women raise their daughters to be out and proud when it comes to being single? Teach them while they’re young, says Dr Goldstein. “When you go through high school, when a guy is interested in you, we’re taught that this makes you a better, more valuable person,” she says. “The risk here, is that women go from one relationship to the next – that’s dangerous when you never develop a sense of self-worth and independence; that’s when co-dependency can become a real issue.

“I don’t think women should be single forever, but it’s so important to figure out who you are and stand on your own two feet. Parents should be actively encouraging this, with their daughters. Women should never be ashamed to be single. It can be a very positive choice – you do not need to be loved by someone to have high self-esteem.”

And one of the greatest joys of being single – aside from not being bored senseless and treated badly by some dimwit – has got to be the chance to develop confidence, inner beauty, fulfilment and self-worth that’s bound to be appealing to the right kind of man you want to attract. “You have to try meeting lots of different men to find out what you want,” Dr Goldstein says, “I like to liken it to eating at a smorgasbord – trying lots of new and interesting options is good for you.

“Experience and knowledge is sexy! And it’s certainly preferable to getting married young and waking up 15 years down the track and saying to your partner: ‘I don’t want to be with you’.”

Image via fanpop.com

By Nicole Carrington-Sima

June 4, 2014
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