Are we in control of our own hearts?
Another reason periods are the actual worst.
- Find your hidden hot spot. Make a fist and note where your middle finger hits your palm. Reflexologists believe stimulating this spot, which corresponds to the heart centre, helps ignite sensual feelings. Press the spot rhythmically with the thumb of your other hand for 15 seconds, then rotating the thumb there for 15 seconds. Repeat 3 times and switch hands.
- Follow the sun. If you feel sexier on bright days, there’s a reason: just 15 consecutive minutes of exposure to sunlight signals your brain to release the feel-good chemical, serotonin. Sit at a sunny window or take a short walk to soak up your share.
- Buy something pink – a scarf, a cardigan, a lippy, a pair of shoes. Pink enhances feelings of unconditional love, says Aleta St James, an emotional healer and colour-balance therapist. Ruby red heightens feelings of romantic attachment. Or pick something orange, a zesty shade that delivers a quick libido lift.
- Wear a garter belt, or stockings held up by suspenders, to work.
- Reinvent sensual massage. Use the backs of your hands, forearms, lips, even your hair to caress and soothe your partner.
- Fake an afterglow. A little steam can give you that flushed, just-got-lucky look. Here’s how: pick some petals from some wilting flowers, put them in a bowl and cover with boiling water. Add 3 drops of lavender oil then drape a towel, tent-like over your head. Steam for 5-10 minutes to open your pores, moisturise and stimulate circulation.
- Just say no. Take a break from sex for however long it takes to change your usual pattern. Focus instead on kissing and light caressing, like you used to in the early days of your relationship. When the hiatus is over, your partner will have to be carried out on a stretcher!
- Paint your toe-nails red. Try it and you’ll notice that little spring in your step and how seductive you feel, whether barefoot in a bathrobe or strutting about in strappy sandals.
- Listen to swoonworthy tunes, songs that make you go “ahhhh”. Some of the SheSaid team’s favourites: Everything But The Girl albums, Frank Sinatra, Massive Attack, John Coltrane, Astrid Gilberto and Stan Getz and someone even admitted to getting turned on by Neil Diamond.
- Do like Marilyn Monroe did and sleep in your favourite fragrance – and nothing else.And finally, an option for those of you who are open to exploring the connection between spirituality and sensuality, breathing can heighten sensual perceptions. Try this technique before lovemaking: inhale deeply so your lower belly expands; exhale slowly and fully, using the abdominal muscles like bellows to expel air from the lungs. With each complete breath focus a lot on the base of your spine (= strength), your uterus (=sexuality), stomach (= emotions), heart (=love), throat (=expression), forehead (=intuition), and crown (=divinity). Then imagine golden beads of light caressing your entire body. When you’ve finished, concentrate on your heart and ask it what it desires. Pay attention to any physical sensations you feel in response.