Girl Talk: How To Have A More Intense Orgasm

For most ladies an orgasm doesn’t just happen. So women intent on experiencing greater sexual pleasure haven’t just laid back, knelt down, or stood up expecting their partner to get them off. Instead, women have realised that they need to take charge of their own sexual pleasure and now there’s no stopping them!

RELATED: OOO Yes! How Women Can Orgasm Every Time

Hell bent on making sex even better, some gals have been having bigger, better, stronger, longer AND more intense orgasms. Sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it? Well, if you’d like to join these smiling, sexually satisfied women I’ll give you the low down on what they’re doing to achieve it.

It’s all in your head ladies!

Our brains are the one forgotten sex organ we all have. So many of us neglect to recognise that if it weren’t for sexual urges which initiate in our brains, we wouldn’t bother having sex at all. Basically, if want a more intense orgasm think about sexual positions that have worked well for you, if any toys or lubes have helped make your orgasm more intense and think your way to a better orgasm.

Look after your general health

Your overall health can really impact your ability to orgasm. So if you’re a drinker or smoker and think that exercise if only for athletes then sorry ladies, but you’re already behind the 8-ball. For one, drinking might help lower your inhibitions, but it also lowers your ability to orgasm.

Primarily you need to focus on activities that boost your circulation and enable you to breathe better when having sex. The key thing to remember is that sex is like any other exercise and the more you train for it, the better your outcome will be.

Produce more Oxytocin

According to scientific research published in Hormones and Behavior, Oxycontin may increase sexual satisfaction and the intensity of orgasm. Additionally, when produced in women it’s believed they feel more comfortable sharing sexual desires with their partner. This miraculous hormone is produced when we display gestures of affection through hugging, cuddling, kissing, touching and during sex.

More foreplay and delay your orgasm

It’s a fact that sex is always better with foreplay. Not only does it lube up all of the important parts of our bodies that we use during sex, but it also builds up anticipation. Anticipation is the key if you want a more intense orgasm. So in other words, work toward orgasm and then back of. Do this as many times as you possibly can and by the time you do actually reach climax, it will be the big bang you’re looking for.

Use lubrication

Lube isn’t just for those who have trouble producing their own. It’s fun to slip and slide, plus it’s been recommended for a way more intense orgasm.

Pelvic floor exercises aka kegels

One of the easiest ways to improve the intensity of your orgasm is by doing pelvic floor exercises aka kegels. They’re an easy exercise that can be done anywhere, at any time, and have been recommended to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor which support the bladder, uterus and vagina.

If you aren’t sure how they’re done, videos that go into further detail are available online; plus there is a neat little gadget called the Kgoal (pictured below) which has been specifically designed to help women strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. Click on the image for a video on how it works.

Kgoal, pelvic floor muscles, better sex, pelvic floor exercises


Seriously girls, how is anyone going to know how to get you off if you don’t know how to do it yourself? Experiment with what you like and discover what makes your orgasm more intense. Try out different toys, lubes, positions and times of the day or night. You might find your body responds better to some things than others.

Boost your libido

It makes sense that if you desire more sex then your body will be better prepared when you have it. Ways to boost your libido include eating certain foods, surrounding yourself with particular smells, masturbating regularly and having more sex. The more sex you have with the same partner, the better the sex will get. What’s more, if it’s good, you’ll want more – a lot like chocolate!

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want

So often men feel like they need to be the ones to supply female sexual satisfaction. Many do so without direction, so don’t be shy or coy in the sack! Tell your partner exactly what you want and don’t forget to ask him to multitask. This will stimulate more regions within your brain and give you a way more intense orgasm. Not only is a sexually confident woman irresistible, but most men want their partners to enjoy the experience.

If anyone has anymore suggestions, we’d love to hear about them in the comments below!

Image via thesheet.ng

Fifty Shades Of Grey Sex Balls: Fact Vs Fiction

“Trust me?” he asks.

I nod. He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread.

“These are new,” he says emphatically.

I look questioningly up at him.

“I am going to put these inside of you, and then I’m going to spank you, not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine.” Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey, sex, Ben Wa Balls

Ben Wa Balls, Kegal Balls, Luna Beads, Burmese bells, Orgasm Balls, Geisha Balls: call them what you will, but these small, marble-sized weighted balls now have a centre-stage role thanks to erotic blockbuster Fifty Shades of Grey.

The extract above is from the 2011 E L James bestselling book. It remains to be seen if the sex balls, as I like to call them, will feature as prominently in the highly anticipated film adaptation due out around February 12.

RELATED: The Fifty Shades Of Grey Phenomenon

The first book in the erotic trilogy, about a virginal 21-year-old college gal and the 27-year-old billionaire who love a bit of rough play, Fifty Shades has caused sales of sex toys, bondage and S&M gear to skyrocket both nationally and internationally. And the classic Ben Wa Balls, or various versions of them, have been flying off the shelves too, ever since.

The weighted balls are worn inside the vagina and have long been used to strengthen pelvic floor muscles – but can they, as Fifty Shades of Grey’s female protagonist Anastasia Steele experiences – also bring you to orgasm?

Fifty Shades of Grey, sex, Ben Wa Balls


In the book, Anastasia suddenly turns nympho – “needy for sex” ­– after wearing said balls and almost has an orgasm after infamous male protagonist Christian Grey “jerks them out…suddenly”.

So, can we expect the same, if we wear the balls in real life? Sadly, no.

Leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein says do your research before use when it comes to the balls and, importantly, they’re not recommended for young girls. “On a pelvic floor basis, these balls are great,” Dr Goldstein says. “They can strengthen your muscles and aid bladder control.

“They’re also great if you forget to do your pelvic floor exercises (also called Kegel exercises).”

But what about the big O? Surely, Fifty Shades of Greys famous sex scene isn’t a fake?! Dr Goldstein says strong pelvic floor muscles can help you to have more orgasms, and strengthen the intensity of your big Os, but as for the balls themselves, it’s not the usual practice for them to be used for sexual enjoyment. What the hell E L James?!

“For some people, the more weighted ones can put pressure on the vaginal canal and rub on the G-spot,” she says. “And some people also insert them in the vaginal canal during anal sex.

“But I’d be reluctant to tell people to use them exclusively for sexual pleasure.”

Note well, ladies: do not put the sex balls in your anus as there’s a high likelihood the balls will, erm, disappear, according to Dr Goldstein.

Fifty Shades of Grey, sex, Ben Wa Balls

So, what’s the moral of the story here, ladies?

“Do not use Fifty Shades of Grey as a text book on sex!” Dr Goldstein says. “It’s a fantasy novel, not a sex education book.

“But it just goes to show that people are craving information about sex topics.

“My final advice would be definitely do not expect to almost have an orgasm just by using the balls.”

Does spanking by a hot man help?

For more information on Dr Goldstein, visit drnikki.com.au.

What do you think? Have you tried using the sex balls?

Secondary image via fiftyshadesaddicted.com;  book image via www.npr.org and cartoon via www.wheresmyglow.com.

5 Fast Facts About Your Lady Parts

Women’s bodies are both amazing and amazingly complex. I sometimes pity men for their less interesting and capable bodies: aren’t they jealous they can’t give birth like us? Don’t answer that: there’s a good reason, I think, women are hard-wired for birth (whether you want kids or not) – we’re an advanced species, clearly.

But while you may well love your important and delicate lady parts (as you should) and have a healthy appreciation for your body and what it can do, here are a few fun, fast facts about your vagina which you may not know about.

RELATED: 7 Ways Orgasms Are Making The World A Better Place

1. Magic button: The clitoris is your power centre, with more nerve endings than anywhere else on your body. It’s your control centre to Planet Orgasm, baby! When stimulated with skill, these nerves activate the pleasure centre of the brain, the same part that fires up when we eat something delicious, like say Nutella. Mmm Nutella. Leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein is also quick to remind SHESAID readers that a woman’s clitoris is in the vulva region not the vagina, which is located in the vaginal canal. In addition, she has this other fun, fascinating fact on the wonderful, magical clitoris: “The clitoris is also the one part of your sexual anatomy that never ages, so it’s good to be a women for even more reasons.” Amen.

2. Baby-making time: Trying to conceive? One of the best bits of advice I ever received, which I’m convinced helped me get up the duff in my mid-to-late 30s four times (two of which sadly ended in miscarriage) is the old “egg-white rule”. If your cervical mucus (and it’s vital that you get to know it) is clear, runny and super-stretchy like an egg white, your vagina is telling you this is the optimal time to get pregnant. This is because your cervical mucus, in this state, can best protect and nourish the sperm as it makes its long journey to meet your egg. Google “cervical mucus” and get busy, eager mums-to-be! And Dr Nikki’s advice? “There is also theory that contractions from an orgasm can help the sperm move up unto the uterus so make sure you take the time to enjoy the baby-making process and do everything to enhance pleasure,” she says. 

3. Four times the fun: Still not convinced your body is far superior to that of a man’s? Check this out, lady: YOU, yes you, can actually have four different types of orgasms. Yep – it’s true. Count them: clitoral, vaginal, blended and multiple. Thank you, God! Now, how many types of orgasms can a man have? Just one? Poor babies. No wonder some idiot men hate women. Dr Nikki’s fun fact: “It’s also useful to keep in mind that 80 per cent of women achieve orgasms through clitoral stimulation alone.” 

4. Hard-wired for birth: Think you and your vagina can’t birth a ten-pound (4.5kg) baby? Yep, you can: your vagina can expand that much, just as it expands to a lesser degree during sex. What’s more, you will recover well from childbirth, down the track, to be able to enjoy sex again. Trust me on this, as inconceivable as concept as it is if you’re yet to have a baby. We women are hard-wired for birth – aren’t our bodies, especially our vaginas, amazing? Dr Nikki’s top advice for a quicker and better postnatal road to recovery: do those pesky PC exercises. “It’s vital you strengthen the pelvic floor muscles by doing PC exercises, post-birth,” she says. “The added bonus to this is a stronger pelvic floor muscles can also instead the intensity  of your orgasms.” 

5. Your cho-cha self-cleans: Don’t believe the hype or those dodgy advertising slogans – you do not need vaginal douches or vaginal washes. These products were purely created by an evil ad man (or lady) to make money out of poor, anxiety-laden ladies. Your vagina cleans itself! Plus, many of these heinous products actually increase your risk of bacterial and yeast infections. One lovely gyno once said: “Leave your vagina well alone – there are probably more bacteria in your mouth than in your vagina.” So, don’t ever tolerate anyone who tells you your vagina is “dirty” or “unclean”, girlfriend. Dr Nikki concurs, adding: “If you are ever paranoid about potential odours, try taking a shower with your partner and incorporating it into foreplay. It might help put your mind at ease. If you do smell anything you think is not right, it could be due to poor diet or an infection.”


vagina, health, women's bodies

Main image via betterafter50.com and secondary image via pixabay.com

Faking It – Why It’s Never OK To Fake An Orgasm

Let’s be honest, we’ve probably all been there at least once in our lives. Whether it was a bad one night stand, a very drunken encounter that wasn’t going to end well or simply a bad sex session, the thought of faking it has either crossed your mind or actually happened. Let’s be clear here, faking an orgasm has never helped any woman achieve what she really wants which is usually an actual orgasm!

There are lots of reasons why, as women, we think about faking it. I’m going to tell you why you really shouldn’t…

Reason 1: We want to please our partner – yes, watching us climax makes them feel like they did a great job, but you’re only lying to them if you fake it. Wouldn’t they be much happier if they knew you were really getting there and not putting it on to make them feel better?

Reason 2: We’re tired and want to go to sleep. A real orgasm will actually help give you a much better night’s sleep than a fake one. If you’re so tired you can’t be bothered to have sex in the first place – then just don’t have it. One night off won’t kill either of you or your relationship. Besides, there’s always morning sex!

Reason 3: The sex is pretty bad and we just want it to be over – chances are if the sex is really that bad you’re probably not in a relationship with this person and can therefore decide not to have sex with them again. That still doesn’t make it ok to fake it. If you do, you are passing that bad sex off on to the next unsuspecting person as your current lover will think he’s done something right this time.

If the sex is that bad and you are in a loving relationship then you need to learn the art of COMMUNICATION – or ‘Cum-munication’ as we like to say here at Tickle and Delight HQ. Faking an orgasm within a relationship only shows a lack of sexual understanding between you and your partner and from this trouble is sure to arise.

Ok we know why we do it but is faking it really that bad? Yes! Faking an orgasm is seriously bad for you and here’s why…

Reason 1: It ruins your sexual experience – you are slowly poisoning your sexual experience. If you continue to fake it you cannot suddenly come back to life from the fake graveyard or you will have to admit you’ve been faking it this whole time and that would hurt! By continuing to fake it though you will soon become emotionally detached from sex with your partner and start to feel as though you just can’t achieve the sexual pleasure you desire.

Reason 2: It doesn’t let you bond – the hormones and pheromones that you release during an orgasm will help you bond with your partner better. Yes, you will both feel more in love afterwards! There will be a stronger connection between you. There is no better way to really ‘be in a relationship’.

Reason 3: He will never learn. It’s highly unlikely that you will ever say ‘Oh Darling, penetration along with slight clitoral simulation and a wild kiss makes my organs go crazy with an earth shattering orgasm.’ Yet if you never tell him, how will he learn?

Female orgasms are often complicated enough with up to 70% of women unable to climax without direct clitoral stimulation – although there are now things to help with that too – like Play O by Durex! Figuring out what you like is the first step to fantastic orgasms. Don’t be afraid to experiment with sex toys by yourself first and then include your partner to help work this out. There are toys specifically for clitoral stimulation and also toys designed to target the G-spot. How on earth is your partner supposed to know what you need if you don’t tell him?

So what can you do?

The first step is to actually explain to your partner what you want or like without deflating his ego or hurting his feelings. You can try the direct approach by simply explaining to your partner what really turns you on. You can take the more subtle approach ‘ooh that feels great but I really like it when you do this’. You can also take control by selecting the positions that work best for you. Or you can take the adventurous approach like suggesting you would like to ‘try’ this or that in bed this time. There is a vast choice of fabulous couples sex toys that will heighten pleasure for you both whilst enabling you to achieve the orgasm you really want. Your partner would be much more likely to experiment with new things if he thinks it will make you happier in bed.

However you decide to tackle the situation, just be clear that once he gets to experience that amazing female orgasm wrap him in its magic, he will never stop doing what you want.

So here’s to NEVER faking it again!

Miss Tickles, resident Sexpert and Sex Toy Party Princess at tickleanddelight.com along with her titillating team, travel the country bringing Sex-U-Cation to the women of Australia and New Zealand in the privacy of their own homes, surrounded by friends, where they can laugh and learn together. Find out more by booking your own party at tickleanddelight.com