“We’re just normal people doing a normal job that has been around for hundreds of years.”
Does the G-Spot actually exist? And, if so, where the hell is it?
Never fear, dear readers, SHE SAID has got the fast facts on this one. This common sex myth irks Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars no end. For Dr Mars – who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being – says that despite many scientific claims to the contrary, the G-spot does in fact exist! “Best scientific evidence is that it does exist!” Dr Mars says.
“Science backs up my own experiences on this one. In an article published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2012, a group of experts concluded that ‘the assumption that women may experience only the clitoral, external orgasm is not based on the best available scientific evidence’.
“I think it’s a myth that it doesn’t exist because a lot of knowledge about female pleasure has been lost over the centuries and the idea that clitoral stimulation is required for orgasm has become pervasive.
“Women who gushed a lot were embarrassed and sometimes not sure they had urinated.
“Plus, not everyone knows how to do it so it might be something that only happens occasionally. We think sex is something you just do not something you can learn about!”
The G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot (after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg), is said to be an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and potential female ejaculation. So, where the bloody hell is it, exactly? “It’s a cluster of nerve endings near the entrance of the vagina,” Dr Mars says.“Some women are more aware of sensation than others.
“The G-spot is about two inches inside the vagina toward the front of a woman’s body.”
Dr Mars’ best sexpert advice in finding the G-spot is to tread carefully. So, do couples need to use a torch? “No!” she laughs. “If you’re exploring the G-spot, take the time to make it sexy, go slow, go in shallow, get the angle right, in and up. Keep the pressure firm.
“Be aware that it can take time; getting better at any kind of sex doesn’t happen overnight.
“It’s very obvious for some people, but for some women it’s just a dribble and they may not be aware of extra moisture until they stand up and move around.”
So, can you survive sex – indeed life – without experiencing G-spot vaginal ejaculation? “It’s another kind of pleasure, partners feel pleasure when they make their partners feel good,” Dr Mars says. “Learning to have fun with the G-spot is important because it opens up new avenues of pleasure and stimulates new neural pathways for pleasure.”
And ladies (and men) if you still need help finding the elusive G-spot, Dr Mars says there are a plethora of sex toys specifically designed to stimulate it. But she still really, really wants you to do your homework and find the damn thing. “Like great kitchen appliances, sex toys don’t make up for knowing what you’re doing,” she says. “For those who prefer vibrators, this is a good couple toy to play with: The Thrill Clit, G-spot and Anal Vibrator from We-Vibe.”
Interestingly, Dr Mars says that while only women have G-spots, men have what’s called a “P-spot”. Stay tuned for more on that soon, ladies.
What do you think? Have you found the G-spot?
Images, in order, via femamom.com; www.bodysculptor.com and abcnews.go.com.
Sadly, schools and even some parents fail to provide the proper sanitary advice to girls. It is unsurprising then that many adult women still don’t know the basics of feminine hygiene. Not to fear – SHESAID has your back! Follow these basic tips for healthy and happy lady parts.
How to wash ‘down there’
The vagina is self cleaning, therefore putting strong chemical soaps will throw off the natural acidity of your lady parts, which can lead to bacterial infections. You shouldn’t need to wash with more than water, but if you do, stick to using pH-balanced products for this sensitive area and under no circumstances should you clean inside the vagina.
While a very mild smell can be normal, it shouldn’t be noticeable to other people or through clothing. However, if the smell is strong you should see a doctor.
Let it breathe
While wearing jeans or tight trousers shouldn’t make that much of a difference, if you have been wearing them all day, perhaps change into something lighter when you get home. The area is naturally moist anyway, and it doesn’t like to be kept it cramped, clammy confines all day. Similarly, check the material of your underwear. Your panties should be cotton or cotton-lined for optimal breathing!
You should know this by now! But if you missed this vital lesson in personal hygiene – always wipe front to back after using the toilet. Always. You don’t want the dirt from your rear being wiped into your sensitive area.
That time of the month
Clean with mild soaps more often during menstruation. If you’re using tampons, read the instructions provided with your product and change when required – do not leave a tampon in for more than four hours. Leaving your tampon in can encourage the growth of bacteria or lead to Toxic Shock Syndrome. Similarly, change other sanitary products every 2-3 hours.
Most men’s mags are filled with images of women in sexy lingerie, right? Wrong! Sure, some mags are all about the images but, if you take a sneak peek to see what men are really reading about and looking at, you may get a startling surprise. It seems some men are reading up on ways to become better lovers and partners.
What fabulous news for the ladies! Some mags go into detail about how foreplay is essential for women to achieve orgasm, what positions are better for women, how and where to find the elusive G spot, ways to make sex last longer – the list of how to improve the sexual experience for women is endless.
Who knew? It’s not all about T and A, as many women believe. Then there’s also heaps of news, interviews, cartoons, comedy, jokes, sports commentary, heath and fitness, nutrition, entertainment guides, technology, cinema and gaming reviews, finance, fashion and grooming advice; plus sexual health – men’s and women’s.
Even mags like Playboy and Ralph seem to contain far more information than most women would anticipate. So, next time you find a men’s mag in your man’s bathroom or on his web history, don’t panic. The age-old excuse of “I’m just reading it for the articles” just might be the case and can be totally beneficial for you and your relationship.
This made me think about the differences between what women are reading, compared to men. Take SHESAID, for example. How many articles have you seen about how to give your man the ultimate sexual experience? Something like a step-by-step guide teaching women how to perform oral sex. Uh, none! Why is that?
Is it because women think they know what they’re doing in the bedroom and beyond; are men easier to please, sexually, than women; do they find other stuff more interesting; or more importantly, is it just not being published? Would women like to know more about how the male body works and how to make your man’s toes curl?
Judging by the response to articles on SHESAID about improving a couples sex life, the use of sex toys, different positions, etc; women probably would like to know more, about how to wow their partner. Men are obviously reading up on it, so why shouldn’t the ladies?
So, if you what to know more about how to perform an erotic massage, strip tease or pole dance; stick with us! Great sex is something couples should both work toward. As they say, variety is the spice of life; so we are going to get busy! Plus, if there’s anything else you want more info on, tell us! We always love to hear from our audience.
Image via http://www.teachmedia.org