Sex-problems

What Can Women Do About Erectile Dysfunction?

So, your man’s having trouble getting it up? Venting frustration over your man’s inability to achieve or maintain an erection is the worst thing for this situation and can make any man feel like a total failure. No one wants to demoralise their partner, especially for something which is usually, beyond his control.

At some stage, most men will experience Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and it’s far more common than people realize. If it wasn’t, pharmaceutical companies wouldn’t be cashing in on a little invention they call Viagra! In many cases, it can be attributed to the male ageing process. It’s far more common for men when they reach 40 and beyond.

When men experience ED it can affect their self esteem, identity, masculinity and, left untreated, eventually puts an enormous amount of pressure on their ability to perform sexually and their intimate relationship. Most men won’t discuss it and they will likely withdraw causing their partners to internalise the problem.

This is where women can take the lead. Discussing ED with your partner is imperative to overcoming it. If it’s a one-off event, laugh it off and relieve the pressure placed on your partner’s inability to perform sexually. This will reduce performance anxiety. How a partner responds to ED can make a significant difference to when and how it’s treated.

Most importantly, don’t take it personally. Your partner is not experiencing less attraction toward you and it’s not an indication of how much your partner wants or loves you. It’s a medical issue, plain and simple. Remembering this is key. It’s very easy for women to internalise a man’s inability to achieve or maintain an erection as an indicator of how attractive or desirable they are, especially as we get older.

If it’s not a regular thing, excessive alcohol consumption or extreme tiredness might be the reason. We all lead busy lives and just because you both might feel like having sex, his body may be in need of a good solid sleep. If it occurs more often, it may be something more serious like diseases that affect blood flow, chronic illness, psychological factors, including performance anxiety or a side effect of various medications.

Therefore, if ED is occurring more often it’s time to have a serious discussion about it. The longer you both wait to have the conversation, the worse it will get. In some cases, a man may take himself to the GP and seek treatment. Others will stick their head in the sand and need encouragement. That doesn’t mean nagging about it until he feels compelled to shut you up, either.

Encouragement should involve understanding and patience. If your man is avoiding the issue and opting to distance himself from you, sexually and emotionally, things can get tricky. No amount of sexy lingerie is going to fix it. Keep being affectionate and maybe try some sex toys, which assist ED. These include penis pumps and cock rings. These help achieve and maintain an erection.

If it’s beyond that, book an appointment at the GP for both of you. Take him by the hand and support him. The GP should investigate the cause of ED, rather than throw him a script for Viagra or other ED medication. Make sure this happens. It might be something simple but it may be an indicator of more serious health matters.

Lastly, love your partner and support him through it. Although men don’t go through menopause, like women do, their bodies still suffer the effects of ageing. Work through the issue together and use the opportunity to connect, rather than vent frustration, blame and distance yourselves. In most cases, treatment will be successful and you can both enjoy a healthy sex life for many years to come.

Image via independent.co.uk

October 9, 2014

3 Common Relationship Problems and How to Fix Them

The course of true love doesn’t always run smoothly, and most couples encounter some relationship problems. Fortunately, many of these relationship issues can be solved with a bit of work. Most breakups can be blamed on a small set of conflicts, so here are three of the most common problems and how to fix relationships that are affected.

The problem: bad sex

When sex is good, it’s very, very good. Sex is one of the things that keeps a couple together, so when there are problems, they should be taken seriously. If your chemistry as a couple isn’t working, there are things you should try.

One is finding time for sex, even if it requires making an appointment and hiring a baby sitter. Too many couples let their sex life fall by the wayside as they build a family, but this is sure to lead to dissatisfaction on both sides. Make a few weekly “sex dates” and see if this puts the heat back in your sex life.

Another idea is to make lists of what turns each of you on—and trade them. You may be surprised to learn how creative your partner can be, plus get new ideas for having great sex!

The most important thing is not to ignore it and hope the situation will improve by itself. Open communication is key.

The problem: money

After sex, financial woes are the problem most likely to cause relationship issues. These are lean times for many people, and that can lead to tension within a relationship, especially if one of you is a “spender” and the other is a “saver.” Some couples find out after marriage that they have been raised with wildly conflicting ideas about money.

If you’re having financial problems, they won’t just go away because you hide the bills and try to ignore them. The two of you must sit down and take an honest, non-hostile look at your finances. This is not the time to lay blame, because it’s likely that both of you are partly responsible for your money problems.

You should calmly go over the entire situation—bills, debts, bank statements, savings, insurance, investments, pay stubs—and work out a budget. Allocate tasks: one person should be in charge of checking statements and paying the bills, and both should have a modest allowance that they don’t have to account for. If the situation is really dire, you should consider going into financial or debt counselling as a couple.

The problem: trust

If your relationship has been rocked by infidelity, you may not be able to repair the damage. In some cases, the loss of trust in too much of a betrayal to overcome, but there are things you can try in hopes of fixing the relationship. Both of you have to be committed to the idea that your love is worth saving.

If you are the one who was unfaithful, you must show by your actions that you can be trusted again. Don’t give your partner any more reason to doubt you. Always be on time, show respect for your partner and never, ever lie.

If you are the injured party, ask yourself if you can forgive your partner and move on to save the relationship. Avoid jealousy, and don’t throw the past up or overreact to every small slight. If you find that you’re unable to put the hurt behind you, then maybe the relationship can’t be saved.

How have you solved your relationship problems?

September 13, 2013