Share-house

“My share house hell!”

Most of us at some point in our lives will live in a share house. We hope that those we share with will be like-minded, reasonable, respectful people. (I won?t think badly of you if you also dream that they have cool jobs, funky clothes and like hanging out in trendy bars ? The Secret Life of Us is my yardstick for share house harmony too.)But things can go awry, dishes pile up as do unpaid bills and one day your happy home is nothing but a battleground of simmering resentment littered with empty pizza boxes.

Recently, you told us about the worst person you?ve ever lived with. You poor things…

?When I was 17 years old I moved in with my best friend from high school. Her boyfriend lived with us as well. He would blatantly sit there and pick his nose in front of us and there proceed to eat it. Needless to say i didn’t live there for very long.? Helen.

?Sarah. She was the only girl I’ve seen drink an entire carton of beer by herself. One Sunday night she sat up drinking while we had gone to bed. When we woke up the next day, she had ripped the toilet door off the wall and peed all over the floor and toilet seat. Everywhere except the bowl. She didn’t even clean it up but dodged us for a week instead.? Janice.

?My boyfriend picked up a young guy hitch hiking and asked him to move in. Everything was fine at first till I received my first phone bill! He had rung up $700 in sex calls then staged a mock burglary of my house and stole money off me. Never again!? Mandie.

?My best friend! She used to bite her toenails! Needless to say it made me gag for days on end!? Rebecca.

June 24, 2003

“My share house hell!” (cont’d)

“I moved in with this girl who was basically looking for a new best friend. From day one she was telling me all the details of her personal life ? nothing was sacred to this girl. She talked about the affair she was having with a married man, she talked about how she had slept with this guy from work who really lived her but she said she couldn?t go out with him because his penis was too small! And this was all in the first week of me living there. Talk about over-sharing! It was so exhausting!” Lee.”I once lived with a man with bad feet who used to cut his toenails in the lounge and leave the bits and washed his smelly socks in the kitchen sink each night.” Jo.

“I was living with a hippy chick who would corner me in the kitchen and say “You only have a cold because your inner child is crying – you need to call your mother and ask if there are any unresolved leftovers from your childhood.” Rhonda.

“I once lived with a girl who told me she hated washing up, but I soon found out she hated everything…cleaning, grocery shopping etc. I ended up having to do everything and her room emitted a v. bad smell, I was embarrassed to have people over!” Lisa.

“My last flatmate was a total freak. When I moved in she told me to keep all my kitchen stuff – plates, glasses etc, packed away because they didn’t need anything else in the kitchen. Then later she complained that everything in the house was hers and that I hadn’t contributed to the house! Mad.” Ella.

June 24, 2003