Weekend Wit: The Walk Of Shame

The dreaded walk of shame. This person has just snuck out of someone’s home, at 6 am, riddled with self doubt, confusion; possibly a snippet of self loathing. They have a chronic hangover and have little recollection of the previous night. All they know is, when they awoke, they felt a sickening shock at realising they weren’t alone. Who the hell is that? Where did they meet? OMG, what’s their name?

Their only tangible thought is to get the hell out of wherever they are right that second. They would make a dash for the door if they weren’t completely naked. There’s a high possibility they’re about to take an underwear-free walk. What they really need is their phone. Like many humans, life without their phone is an existence just not worth considering.

There’s no way they want to interact with this nameless stranger. Maybe if they leave quick enough, the stranger won’t even recall they were there. Yes, sounds like a plan. They begin creeping around the house, trying to be as quite as taking a poop in a public toilet; but, of course, the quieter they try to be, the louder they are and cringe each time they make a sound.

Heading back to the bedroom, they discover both of their phones sticking out from under the stranger’s pillow. WTF? Oh, no. Is there a recording of this experience? Instantaneously, a whole new level of shame is realised. Contemplating how to retain their dignity, they stand over the stranger and gently attempt to pry the phones from under the pillow. Bit by bit, they get closer to their claim and, after a good five minutes, they finally have both. Phew!

Walking into another room, attempting the password on the stranger’s phone, they think to themselves ‘this could take forever’. Should they steal the stranger’s phone, just in case? Maybe they could take it, have it wiped it clean and mail it back. Oh decisions, decisions!

Determined to sustain at least some level of their previous self respect, they decide to leave the phone and make the getaway. Hopefully, there’s another reason why the phones were under the pillow.

Semi-dressed, they make their way to the door. As anticipated, it will be an underwear-free walk. Opening the door as quietly as possible, they step out and just as they begin to close it gently behind them, a gust of wind comes past and slams it shut, like a nail being belted into a coffin. BANG! Run is their first instinctive thought.

So, rapidly, the underwear-free walk of shame becomes a sprint, which carries on for a block. By then they are totally spent because of all the alcohol they consumed the night before. Additionally, they receive a text. It’s 6 am, who’s texting at this time of the morning? This can’t be good.

Looking down at the name of the sender, they think for themselves ‘I don’t know anyone named…’ Oh, yes, they do. Yep, just as they suspected, it’s not good. That’s why the phones were under the pillow. They’d swapped numbers. The now-named stranger sent a text: “You left your keys”.

Image via

October 18, 2014

Intuition by Tara Moss

WOMEN’S INTUITION INSPIRES TARA MOSS TO RELEASE FIRST NEW SHORT STORY IN THREE YEARSHaving sold over 200,000 books nation-wide, celebrated best-selling author and top international model Tara Moss has this month released her first short story since her award-winning stories Psycho Magnet and Know Your ABC’s. Inspired by the phenomenon of women’s intuition, the gripping thriller revolves around a central female character, Karen Mahoney, whose use of intuition helps her avoid becoming the latest victim of a mystery serial rapist.Tara’s third novel will be released next year, so the aptly titled short story Intuition is the first opportunity Tara’s fans have to sample her new work.

“For those with an appetite for crime fiction, Intuition will provide a fast-paced, suspenseful read. Short stories are a wonderful, and too often forgotten form of writing which I would like to see celebrated more often,” says Tara.

The other twist is that Intuition by Tara Moss is a limited edition. Only 20,000 copies are being produced. But thanks to the makers of new Schick® Intuition™, all 20,000 copies are being given away free of charge.

Avid readers and fans of Tara Moss can request a free copy of Intuition, the short story, by calling the Schick® Intuition™ hotline on 1800 648 975 or by visiting

Like Intuition by Tara Moss, Schick® Intuition™ was borne of a woman’s Intuition. Truly revolutionary, Schick® Intuition&#8482 was invented by a woman who was frustrated with the hassle of having her shaving cream and soap in one hand and her razor in the other. By combining a Skin Conditioning Solid rich in cocoa butter, aloe vera and vitamin E with a triple blade razor, she created the world’s first ALL-IN-ONE shaver for women. It lathers and shaves in one easy step so there is no need for shave foam or gel, soap or body wash. Schick® Intuition™ simplifies the shaving process.

The release of Intuition by Tara Moss coincides with its launch.

The key character in Intuition, Karen Mahoney, will appear in Tara’s next crime novel, Covet, which will be released in Australia next year through Harper Collins Publishers.

ABOUT SCHICK® INTUITION™: With just a few months on the US market the revolutionary new Schick® Intuition™ has already become American Women’s Number 1 choice in systems razors. (Schick® Intuition™ July 2003 sales results) Australian women will be amongst the first to experience this product with Australia being the third country in the world to launch this product. Schick® Intuition™ will be available in all major grocery, mass retailers and pharmacy stores from 1 October, 2003. Intuition™ razor kits will be priced from $11.49RRP and will include a refillable razor handle, two ALL-IN-ONE cartridges, a shower hanger and a protective travel cap. The 3 pack of ALL-IN-ONE refill cartridges will be priced from $12.69RRP.

ABOUT TARA: Tara’s first novel Fetish hit the best-seller lists and was nominated for the Ned Kelly Award for best novel in Australia. Her second novel Split, was nominated for the 2003 Davitt Award for Best Australian Crime Novel, and has shared the nation-wide top ten fiction best-seller list with the likes of John Grisham, Stephen King, James Patterson and Jeffrey Deaver. Tara’s novels are currently being published in six countries, including translations into French, German and Russian.

November 18, 2003