Singles

The Secret Between The Do-able And Datable Man

Looking for a datable man and continue to attract the do-able variety? Well there is a secret between the do-able and datable man and it’s high time single ladies knew the difference. It’s not about how hot he is and it’s not about the amount of money in his bank account. The do-able man might have everything you want on the surface, but under that attractive exterior you just may find there’s something seriously missing.

RELATED The Fine Line Between Sexy And Skanky

The first thing you need to look at is if the man you’re interested in has loyalty. The stats suggest that one third of people cheat and for many of us this is a deal breaker. So, will this potential partner cheat on you? There’s the million dollar question! I’ve been round the block a few times and there’s a fairly easy way to tell if you’ve got a loyal man in front of you, or if you’ve got a player.

For one: the do-able man will lie, while the datable man will be honest. Sure, the datable man may not have the gift of the gab and may stubble around his words a little, but that’s not the only indicator; so it’s about looking past the words and seeing if they have any merit. For example: is that awesome car out there really his – and just as importantly, did he really pay for it? Or is it his mates in which he is passing off as his own, or perhaps a gift from mum and dad and he’s basically using it as bait to get you into the sack. Hey, this stuff really happens – and what’s more, it happens more times than you think!

Apart from being truthful, loyalty can be seen in how they treat the people around them, starting with how they are with their friends. You probably won’t see eligible men with family members until later, so close friends are the next best indicator. You need to ask yourself: are they respectful, kind, truthful and thoughtful? Or do they come off like an arrogant a-hole even if they say it’s just in fun. There is a difference in how loyal men treat their friends and it’s a great indication of how this man will treat his lady. Particularly if the lady in question ends up being you.

The second and most significant thing to remember is that words are only words, ladies! A datable man will back his words with his behaviour pretty much every time. The do-able man won’t. For example: did he really lose your phone number after a date or a hook up only to never get in contact again, or did he move hell and high water to reach you in some way, shape, or form because he really wanted to see you again?

The datable man will do that even after a woman has had sex with them. Ladies who find themselves chasing after some man no matter what hard luck story they’ve been given are just kidding themselves. You clearly mean less to him then you’d prefer, and in these situations, women set themselves up for a fall.

Lastly, an interested man will track you down, want to spend time with you and will treat you like a princess no matter what obstacles stand in his way. Whether it be distance, finance, relationship status, whatever; just ask any male you know if this is true and you’ll find that this is the case in most datable men. Once a datable man has his sights set on you and you would like to start a relationship, nothing will hold him back. Nope! Not even if he’s shy. It may take him a bit longer to get around to it, but eventually most datable men will go after what they most desire.

That’s when you know you have a datable man in front of you. The do-able man may have everything on the checklist like the looks, the car, the job and the bank balance, but seriously, how many of them are there that have everything you really want? The datable guy probably won’t, but if you find a man with honestly, respect and loyalty, you’ll have a pretty happy life together.

Image via persuasivelitigator.com

The Brits Claim The World’s Most Dateable Accent

The world’s most dateable accent has been claimed by the British, and not by a small margin either. According to Time Out’s Global Dating Survey, the British accent won hands down with a whopping twenty-seven per cent. The Americans came in second with 8.7 per cent, followed by the Irish with 8.1 per cent and then the Australians with 8 per cent.

RELATED The Ultimate Guide To Dating Across Europe

The survey collected data from 11,000 singles living in 24 nations across the globe to discover their dating likes, dislikes and habits. Here’s a little of what they discovered:

Top 10 of the world’s most dateable accents

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Given that the British accent has multiple variations, and possibly the most of any nation, it wasn’t identified which specific type of British accent led the pack. It might have been the variation that got Britain so far over the line, but let’s face it, a win is a win!

The world’s most dateable city

British, London, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Does this come as a surprise? Paris has been well known for it’s romance for many years. The city of love had better watch out, however! One would assume they would have won by a landslide, but it looks like Melbourne wasn’t too far behind.

British, London, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Oh New Yorkers, you sad lot of singles. Almost half are unhappy to be single, whereas Sydney residents seem to tip their scale in the opposite direction.

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Judging from these results New Yorkers are a bit confused: They Describe their city as a warzone for singles when looking for a partner, but they aren’t missing out on the sex. It mustn’t be very satisfying, however, because 45 per cent did say they were sad to be single.

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

New Yorkers stand out again! Hmm, it makes you question what the dating scene is really like over there? It seems like quite a different terrain when compared with the rest of the globe.

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

That’s very interesting. Singles, please take note.

What careers do singles prefer?

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

What these results suggest is that there were a few professions in the mix of survey participants. This is good news – it highlights survey bias and accuracy and it’s seems results are indicative of a wide variety of people, therefore, overall results should be fairly accurate.

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Well self-esteem isn’t an issue, however singles seem fairly fussy – particularly women in Chicago.

Where do their dates lead?

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

British, London, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

A staggering 41 per cent of global participants have dated a married person! That’s alarming.

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Hmm, interesting.

Sex and dating

British, world's sexiest accent, dating survey

Hopefully this gives singles a bit more of an incite into the dating scene globally. Overall these results suggest people are actually more alike than different.

What do you think, have the results changed the way you look at dating?

 Images timeout.com, dailymail.co.uk

Friendship Is Their Secret Ingredient

Generations ago couples “courted” and got to know each other well before they hit the sack. They might have fooled around a bit but the fear of pregnancy kept most women’s legs pretty tightly shut! Unbeknownst to them they were actually building a friendship which would help through the tough times ahead. By the time couples married they had a reasonable idea who they were spending their life with.

RELATED: Marriage and friendship help you live longer

Fast forward to the 21st century we are lucky to have birth control and options for protected sex. Instead of pregnancy being the deterrent it once was, women are now free to be more, um-mm, free?! The downside is that the friendship required for intimate relationships to survive long term is often missing.

This maybe one of the reasons separation and divorce rates are so high. Plus we have options which our ancestors didn’t. If they were unhappy or dissatisfied in their relationship they had to fix it. Their only options were to find a workable solution, live in misery or murder their spouse. I’m sure a few went missing, some were miserable but the majority worked on it.

We don’t have these restraints. Instead, couples opt for the easy way out, separate and try to find love and happiness elsewhere. The problem with this is that many fail to realize they need to fix the issues created in their initial relationship so it won’t be transferred to the next. Serial cheaters are a prime example. Until they work on their cheating behaviour in their current relationship, it’s pretty likely they’ll cheat over and over again in others.

Today, couples that have a solid friendship are far more likely to work through their baggage, issues or hard-ships and remain together. It’s not just about communicating as friends but encompasses the mutual respect, validation of opinions, understanding, acknowledgment and all the other goodies being best friends involves.

Friendship in new relationships

If you’re on the market or just beginning a new relationship, great! Hold off on the sex and concentrate on the friendship. It doesn’t matter what gender you are either. Simply spend time together, communicate and build a solid foundation for a strong, sustainable relationship.

Avoid placing a time limit on initiating intimacy because that will become the focus. It really doesn’t matter. As a guide when you feel comfortable being able to strip naked in front of your partner and jump up and down, you’re probably pretty comfortable with each-other! Although holding of on sex maybe easier said than done it’s much easier to begin as friends and work toward intimacy than the other way around.

Concentrating on friendship in established relationships

If your relationship is based on physical attraction and lust you’re in serious trouble if you want it to last long term. We all know the passionate side of relationships is awesome but there’s got to be more. Eventually that will subdue and you will need to have a friendship for it to last.

Rather than suddenly stopping the sex to work on your friendship, continue as you would when you want to befriend someone. Work on what you have in common, likes and dislikes, family history, strengths and weaknesses, fears and life experiences. You should know all the things friends know about each other and concentrate on building mutual respect, understanding and trust.

Why friendship?

So why is friendship the secret ingredient to a happy, satisfying long term relationship? Easy. Best friends look out for each other no matter what. They are comfortable in extended periods of silence. Everyone needs down time. They treat each other as equals with respect, dignity, validation and compassion, not as possessions or objects to be abused. They have fun together, laugh together, communicate and enjoy each others company.  Plus, when the s### hits the fan, who do you want to turn to? Not the friend with benefits which some couples resemble, but your best friend.

If your intimate relationship doesn’t have a solid foundation built upon friendship it will eventually crumble. It might last a few years, maybe even a decade or more but the most satisfying and happy relationships seem to have this one essential ingredient. Thankfully this is something we can all build upon, achieve and improve with age.

Image via nedhardy.com

Finding Love In All The Wrong Places

Women have been warned about looking for love in places like pubs, clubs or some online dating websites. Sorry, but it’s bull###! Finding love can and does happen anywhere. If there’s an attraction there, why should it matter where you find it?

If you been putting yourself out there looking for love but keep striking out, it’s more likely your expectations rather than the environment  are sabotaging your search for Mr Right. You’re liking finding Mr Right-Now but lets face it, he’s not exactly hiding. Just add alcohol to any Tom, Dick or Harry and there he is! Sorry fellas, but you know it’s true.

RELATED: What men want – Love, Sex and Romance

When it comes to finding the “one”, there really isn’t a right or wrong place as many people are led to believe. For example, if you’re not a church goer (where people do recommend finding a good man) you’re not going to find anything in common with most men you find there anyway. How on earth can he even come close to being the right guy for you then? In all honesty he can’t. Not unless you suddenly change your entire lifestyle and that’s just ridiculous.

If you are meeting people in pubs, clubs or bars but haven’t been happy with the outcome of the relationships you’re finding there, you probably need to change your game plan. You’ve likely been doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. So many people fall into this trap. Only when you change your behaviour will you manage to change the outcome. Make sense?

So for one, if you are finding some companionship when you’re somewhere “wrong”, that’s half the battle. The second half of the battle is what you do with that companionship when you find  it. Not all men are the same. Yes, of course if it’s dangled in front of them most of them will take it. Men are hunters, that’s what they do, but ultimately they are after the challenge whether they know it or not!! Plus, it’s incredible how persistent they can be when they really want something. There’s not need to chase because if a man is interested, he’ll usually come to you.

Basically if you are wanting more than a quick fling, a night of passion or a two date romance then plan for it. Resign the fact that you won’t be hooking up with strangers or casual acquaintances and make it clear what you are looking for. Don’t settle for less no matter how studly he is! Guys talk ladies, so it soon gets around who they can hook up with and who they can’t. Men don’t want someone long term, who will go home with anyone at the click of their fingers. There’s no challenge in that.

When word gets out that you’re a challenge and not easy pickings you’ll actually get way more attention. Be aware of how you present yourself and don’t aim to be the sexiest or hottest girl there either. You want to be alluring, not intimidating. Also, aim for the less is more look with your make up but not your clothing. You don’t want the way you look to scream one-night-stand when what you really want is a relationship. Men aren’t stupid, they know the difference.

While you’re getting this extra attention, work out who is there for what reason and you should be able to find someone who is looking for a similar relationship to you. People tend to forget that it really doesn’t matter where you find love. I met my long term partner in a very “wrong” place. (No I’m not sharing, it’s embarrassing how wrong it was!)

Plus, how will women find out who they have in front of them, if they continue to make assumptions about a mans motives? Just because you are both in the “wrong” place, doesn’t mean neither of you will find love there. You just might need to search a little harder and be a bit pickier.

Despite the fact that men do go to pubs and clubs or search online for a hook up, there are also plenty of very decent men there who maybe simply too shy to approach a lady or not after a fling at all. You won’t find that out unless you give some or at least one of them a chance. Be choosey, change your game plan and find the one searching for something more substantial and just killing time until you show up. It’s not easy out there, but if you play your cards right you’ll come out a winner!

Good luck!

Image via rockpele.com

Dating Ideas And Advice During December

Dating in December can be a bit tricky for a couple of reasons. The first is that there are people everywhere. Don’t you wish that they would all nick off because a quiet night at a local restaurant seems to be out of the question. With staff parties and end of year festivities happening, it’s likely you’ll actually need to make a booking. That throws spontaneity totally out the window for the next month or so.

Then there’s the second conundrum. Is it time for your new lover to meet the Fockers or Addams family? You know, those people who share your genes, but have you seriously considering if you were adopted? It might be tempting to take your date with you, but before you do, please keep reading.

So back to the first issue. Instead of heading to overcrowded restaurants during December, why not mixed it up a bit and do things a little different. Take the opportunity to engage the festivities and go along to Christmas pageants, carol evenings, light displays or whatever else your city or local area has going on.

If this sounds like a chore rather than an opportunity, you might want to pack a romantic picnic lunch and drive out to the country for some peace and quiet. You can pick some wild flowers which can still be found in remote areas or support some of the local businesses, strolling peacefully from shop to shop selecting Christmas gifts.

Hey, it certainly beats the hustle and bustle of the local mall! Plus small businesses out of the city will welcome the extra income. You never know what you’ll find as small towns often support local artists who hand make unique trinkets and create some stunning gifts.

If that doesn’t sound enticing, what about hiring a boat and having a day on the water? Or you could visit a museum, art gallery or do a photography tour. Don’t forget about scary night time tours of old jails. That will get the adrenaline pumping and nothing screams seduction like adding a bit of fear into your dating experience!

There’s heaps of options in lieu of sitting down and eating a meal together, so check out what’s around and do something different together. Some experiences need to be booked in advance and others can be spontaneous. Check online for opening times, costs and if any booking is required.

So, with a few dating options covered, what about that fateful family meeting? Maybe they have invited you for Christmas or vice versa. You really need to consider if you are ready to take that step. The family introduction is when things get serious and you are basically stating that this person is your potential life partner.

If you think it might be getting serious and this person is “the one”, the ultimate thing to remember is this; if it weren’t for upcoming family functions would you go out of your way to take this person to meet your family? If you aren’t ready for that, then the answer is relatively clear. Wait until you are certain before you introduce your family or meet theirs.

It maybe that they are keen for you to meet their family. Take this as an indication of where they would like the relationship to go. Once families become part of the equation you are in a serious relationship. If you don’t want that or are unsure then declining the offer and go to your family celebrations solo.

It’s all a matter of personal preference and you need to decide how you feel about the person. It maybe a simple Christmas invite, but often it signifies where the relationship is heading. Be mindful of this and do what feels right. Your gut instinct will usually lead you in the right direction.

Image via http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/xmas-getaway.jpg

How To Find Your Online Dating Christmas Cracker

‘Tis the season to be jolly, so why not wave goodbye to being single and say hello to a new partner this festive season? With online dating sites such as My Single Friend offering a convenient and simple way to meet people around your busy lifestyle there’s no excuse for being lonely under the mistletoe, so here are five useful tips to find a Christmas cracker.

Write a quirky profile

These days, many people log on to find a potential love match with internet dating now thought to be the second most popular way to pick up a date. That means there are many profiles out there to sift through so try to make yours stand out from the crowd. Be fun, interesting, engaging and avoid waffle at all cost to avoid boring people.

Don’t please the masses

There are many things you could say that are sure to please the masses such as: ‘I’m kind, loving and patient,’ or, ‘I’m hardworking, passionate and loyal.’ These statements are all well and good but they won’t set you apart from anyone else, so try focussing on things you really like and enjoy – even if it excludes the masses. Saying you’re a Star Wars fanatic might send people running for the hills but it could also attract your perfect love match.

Include a picture

Believe it or not, there are many rules to follow if you want to post the perfect profile picture. The right snap could get you noticed so opt for smiley profiles, action shots and full-length images and make sure anything you put online is recent, after all, no one cares how you used to look ten years ago. Professional shots are nice but more natural ones can also be appealing so include a variety.

Use correct spelling and grammar

The strange thing about the internet is that people can and will judge you before they’ve even met you. They’ll scrutinise your photo as well as your spelling and grammar so always check everything thoroughly before posting it as numerous errors can be off-putting. If the written language isn’t your strong point, try writing things in a Word document first and using spellcheck before copying and pasting into your profile. That way you should spot mistakes before your page goes live.

Be honest and open

When people go online they can feel a sudden urge to create a persona and lie about their hobbies, job or appearance. If you’re looking for true love making up lies will do you no favours in the long run, so be as open and honest as possible. The truth has a strange habit of coming out, so don’t say you’re 6ft 4ins if you’re 5ft as this will make a first date awkward and don’t pretend to be in a different profession just to try and impress. Be truthful upfront and you’re more likely to find a suitable love match.

Internet dating is supposed to be fun and could lead to new and exciting opportunities so if you’re single it’s certainly worth giving it a go. You never know, you could find the love of your life which is sure to get 2015 off to a great start.

Weekend Wit: The Walk Of Shame

The dreaded walk of shame. This person has just snuck out of someone’s home, at 6 am, riddled with self doubt, confusion; possibly a snippet of self loathing. They have a chronic hangover and have little recollection of the previous night. All they know is, when they awoke, they felt a sickening shock at realising they weren’t alone. Who the hell is that? Where did they meet? OMG, what’s their name?

Their only tangible thought is to get the hell out of wherever they are right that second. They would make a dash for the door if they weren’t completely naked. There’s a high possibility they’re about to take an underwear-free walk. What they really need is their phone. Like many humans, life without their phone is an existence just not worth considering.

There’s no way they want to interact with this nameless stranger. Maybe if they leave quick enough, the stranger won’t even recall they were there. Yes, sounds like a plan. They begin creeping around the house, trying to be as quite as taking a poop in a public toilet; but, of course, the quieter they try to be, the louder they are and cringe each time they make a sound.

Heading back to the bedroom, they discover both of their phones sticking out from under the stranger’s pillow. WTF? Oh, no. Is there a recording of this experience? Instantaneously, a whole new level of shame is realised. Contemplating how to retain their dignity, they stand over the stranger and gently attempt to pry the phones from under the pillow. Bit by bit, they get closer to their claim and, after a good five minutes, they finally have both. Phew!

Walking into another room, attempting the password on the stranger’s phone, they think to themselves ‘this could take forever’. Should they steal the stranger’s phone, just in case? Maybe they could take it, have it wiped it clean and mail it back. Oh decisions, decisions!

Determined to sustain at least some level of their previous self respect, they decide to leave the phone and make the getaway. Hopefully, there’s another reason why the phones were under the pillow.

Semi-dressed, they make their way to the door. As anticipated, it will be an underwear-free walk. Opening the door as quietly as possible, they step out and just as they begin to close it gently behind them, a gust of wind comes past and slams it shut, like a nail being belted into a coffin. BANG! Run is their first instinctive thought.

So, rapidly, the underwear-free walk of shame becomes a sprint, which carries on for a block. By then they are totally spent because of all the alcohol they consumed the night before. Additionally, they receive a text. It’s 6 am, who’s texting at this time of the morning? This can’t be good.

Looking down at the name of the sender, they think for themselves ‘I don’t know anyone named…’ Oh, yes, they do. Yep, just as they suspected, it’s not good. That’s why the phones were under the pillow. They’d swapped numbers. The now-named stranger sent a text: “You left your keys”.

Image via http://www.writtalin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/one_night_stand.jpg

Online Dating : How’s your Lava Life?

If personal ads were the way to meet new people in the Eighties then the Internet and online dating services must surely be the way of the Naughties. From tempting emails to chat room flirtations and ongoing instant message affairs, Internet technology has given us many more ways to flirt and flooze…But how about finding ‘The One’ online? Online dating offers

  • Convenience – you can browse for mate and dates when it suits you
  • Confidence – you can screen prospective dates very thoroughly and reveal your details only when it suit you
  • Control – you call the shots and determine the nature and pace of the relationship

Lavalife is one such service. An online resource for singles dedicated foremost to finding fun and friendship, this world-wide agency ‘offers singles anytime, anywhere connections that make single life a positive, fulfilling and self-esteem building experience through relationship opportunities, social interaction and a like minded community of ideas and information.’ Real-life relationships and more may eventuate – the choice is yours.

Sound good? How does it work I hear you ask?
Go to Lavalife and have a look around. The Be Our Guest option allows you to browse the site to see the kinds of men and women registered there, and if they are interest in dating, romance or something else… You then select your gender and the gender of your partner, then your location (the whole world is listed!) and preferred age bracket and whether you want your prospective date’s picture to be displayed. Indicate the type of relationship you’re after and you’ll be presented with a list of the likely candidates…

In Be Our Guest mode you can look but can’t communicate with any of these strapping, available lads. You can however view their picture and a detailed profile of their likes, hobbies and personal details like eye colour etc.

Phwoar! He’s a bit of all right…
So you want to chat with the 32-year-old 6’2″ blue-eyed book publisher from Brisbane who enjoys reading, wind surfing and Italian food? Or perhaps it’s the muscular 25-year-old Leo from Sydney with the green eyes and taste for fast cars who’s more your speed? The next step is to create profile for yourself on Lavalife by following the Sign Up For Free instructions. You even get to enter a nickname for yourself to ensure your privacy and this allow you to reveal your name only when you feel comfortable…

Once you have a profile and a membership, you can email or send live Instant Messages (if they are online when you are) to your chosen one (or how ever many you’d like, if your playing the field).

Online Dating : How’s your Lava Life? continued

Tips for emails and messages

  • Experiment and find a style and tone that ‘sounds like you’
  • Use an interesting subject line in your message
  • Check spelling and try use a conversational, creative and positive tone
  • Pick-up lines are cheesy and corny and don’t make a good first impression
  • If replying to a profile, mention something about the recipient’s profile that interested you
  • Ask a question or two and include some brief information about yourself
  • Keep things light and friendly, anything else can come across as desperate and needy

It’s that easy.

If you find you click with a person through your emails and messages, you could even take the next step and have a chat on the phone. If all goes well, you could meet in person.

Tips for meeting face to face

  • Speak to them on the phone first
  • Make sure you have a contact phone number for them
  • Let a friend know when the date is, where and with whom
  • Arrange to meet somewhere neutral like a coffee shop to start with
  • Keep it short and sweet for the first few dates – eg a coffee, an art gallery

Online dating could revitalise your love life. But don’t take our word for it. Check out these success stories from Lavalife?

Hi Lavalife,
I did meet someone special three months ago. This coming September we are going to get married. I would like to thank your service, as if not for you I would have never met her.

Thanks again, G. Boal

Dear Lavalife,
Thank you! I really wasn’t sure what I was going to find on your site. I’ve found an amazing fellow. He’s sweet, sexy, and a keeper!! So, I decided to retire my profile for now, because, as flattering as all the attention is, I want to concentrate on this great man… and see how it all works out.

Shadowmyst

Thanks Lavalife. I’ve met someone wonderful on your site. She’s even planning on moving, so we can be closer.

Keep up the good work!
P. Armstrong

 

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