Ultimate-sexual-experience

Hot Sex Secrets: Can Men Orgasm Without Ejaculating?

Have you ever wondered how you can get your man to last longer in the sack? If you answered a resounding “yes!” and fist pumped with gusto, read on, girlfriend.

RELATED: Top 5 Ways To Get In The Mood For Hot Sex

Of course, if – like me – you’re old enough to remember musician Sting’s infamous comments about his and wife Trudie Styler’s seven-hour tantric sex sessions, you may have been wondering what the answer is to this age-old quandary ever since.

Now, one would hope that those gruelling seven-hour sex sessions include food and toilet breaks, but is Sting nothing less than superman, or just a highly skilled lover? Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars (pictured), who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being, says it’s definitely the latter. It is a proven fact that with the right techniques, men can have longer-lasting orgasms and prolong their sexual experiences.

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“It is possible for men to orgasm without ejaculating, but it takes practice and mental and physical discipline. The best way to learn is through masturbation and a series of exercises designed to delay orgasm,” Dr Mars says.

“Instead of going straight to ejaculation and a single orgasm, men can learn to have a series of orgasms without ejaculating and, over time, reach a level of transcendence.

“Imagine experiencing the same mental state as you do when you orgasm, but over an extended period of time? I’m talking about that head-exploding feeling men experience when they come, but instead of it being a momentary peak, it goes onwards and upwards.”

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?! So, how do sex partners aid the process? “Partners can help a man achieve this to a certain point, but it does require that the man is already experienced in ‘edging’ or at the very least knows what you are trying to achieve,” Dr Mars says.

“Women can learn to be more sensitive to the signs of a man’s ejaculation. Blow jobs are particularly useful here, as is eye contact. Remember rule 34: there is porn of it, no exceptions. Look up ‘edging porn’.”

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Well, dear reader, I took the bullet and did just that in the name of journalistic research. Edging porn, according to my internet exploring, is men masturbating up to the edge of orgasm, then stopping to cool things down, and then revving up again. There are three most common versions of edging:

  1. Watching porn without masturbating.
  2. Masturbating while viewing porn, but not ejaculating.
  3. Masturbating without porn and without ejaculating.

So, back to my good mate, the still-handsome at 63-years-of-age Sting: is men’s ability to orgasm without ejaculating the real secret to tantric sex? “I wouldn’t say that it’s the secret, but it is an aspect of tantric sex,” Dr Mars says. “Tantric sex is about ritual, breathing, creating a mood and space. It often requires a series of exercises for a man to get to a certain non-ejaculatory state with a partner.

“Men can learn to get into the headspace of orgasm sans ejaculation without getting into tantric sex; mastering it will allow men to have sex for longer.

“Once you can edge you can basically come if and when you want to. It is also good for men’s overall health to learn to orgasm without ejaculating as men then don’t experience the same energy drain they do with ejaculation.

“Men over 30 shouldn’t ejaculate every time they orgasm and learning to orgasm without ejaculating can be a way to rekindle a man’s sexual interest and energy if it is flagging.”

Consider my mind well and truly blown.

What do you think?

Images via Daily Mail, Hephzibahonline.wordpress.com, Counselheal.com

Sex Fact Vs Fiction: Does The G-Spot Exist?

Does the G-Spot actually exist? And, if so, where the hell is it?

RELATED: Sex Survey Reveals Aussies’ Bucket List Of Sexual Fantasies

Never fear, dear readers, SHE SAID has got the fast facts on this one. This common sex myth irks Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars no end. For Dr Mars – who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being – says that despite many scientific claims to the contrary, the G-spot does in fact exist! “Best scientific evidence is that it does exist!” Dr Mars says.

“Science backs up my own experiences on this one. In an article published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2012, a group of experts concluded that ‘the assumption that women may experience only the clitoral, external orgasm is not based on the best available scientific evidence’. 

“I think it’s a myth that it doesn’t exist because a lot of knowledge about female pleasure has been lost over the centuries and the idea that clitoral stimulation is required for orgasm has become pervasive.

“Women who gushed a lot were embarrassed and sometimes not sure they had urinated.

“Plus, not everyone knows how to do it so it might be something that only happens occasionally. We think sex is something you just do not something you can learn about!”

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The G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot (after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg), is said to be an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and potential female ejaculation. So, where the bloody hell is it, exactly? “It’s a cluster of nerve endings near the entrance of the vagina,” Dr Mars says.“Some women are more aware of sensation than others.

“The G-spot is about two inches inside the vagina toward the front of a woman’s body.”

Dr Mars’ best sexpert advice in finding the G-spot is to tread carefully. So, do couples need to use a torch? “No!” she laughs. “If you’re exploring the G-spot, take the time to make it sexy, go slow, go in shallow, get the angle right, in and up. Keep the pressure firm.

“Be aware that it can take time; getting better at any kind of sex doesn’t happen overnight.

“It’s very obvious for some people, but for some women it’s just a dribble and they may not be aware of extra moisture until they stand up and move around.”

So, can you survive sex – indeed life – without experiencing G-spot vaginal ejaculation? “It’s another kind of pleasure, partners feel pleasure when they make their partners feel good,” Dr Mars says. “Learning to have fun with the G-spot is important because it opens up new avenues of pleasure and stimulates new neural pathways for pleasure.”

 

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And ladies (and men) if you still need help finding the elusive G-spot, Dr Mars says there are a plethora of sex toys specifically designed to stimulate it. But she still really, really wants you to do your homework and find the damn thing. “Like great kitchen appliances, sex toys don’t make up for knowing what you’re doing,” she says. “For those who prefer vibrators, this is a good couple toy to play with: The Thrill Clit, G-spot and Anal Vibrator from We-Vibe.”

Interestingly, Dr Mars says that while only women have G-spots, men have what’s called a “P-spot”. Stay tuned for more on that soon, ladies.

What do you think? Have you found the G-spot?

Images, in order, via femamom.com; www.bodysculptor.com and abcnews.go.com.

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