For many women vaginal intercourse isn’t the orgasmic experience they crave, according to Elisabeth Lloyd, American philosopher of biology and author of The Case of the Female Orgasm. After analyzing 33 studies conducted over the past 80 years, Lloyd discovered that only 25 percent of women regularly experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse and half “sometimes” get there. Then there’s roughly 20 percent who rarely experience it and another 5 percent who miss out all together.
What’s more, achieving orgasm seemed unrelated to the duration of intercourse (how long her partner lasts), penis size or emotions connected to their partners. Therefore, it’s safe to say that actually achieving orgasm during vaginal intercourse can be a bit of a hit and miss experience. The question is, why? Or more importantly what can women do about it?
It seems to boil down to simple biology. The location of the clitoris is outside the vagina. It lies within the top area of the vaginal lips and penile stimulation inside the vagina usually doesn’t touch it. Although vaginal orgasm is possible without clitoral stimulation, most women find this difficult.
Another significant way which women miss out on achieving orgasm, is skimping on foreplay. If duration of intercourse doesn’t seem to relate to the low account of female orgasm, duration and quality of foreplay is a major possibility. This ultimately readies the body to experience pleasure. Women’s bodies take longer to prepare them for orgasm than healthy men and this factor maybe where women are missing out. Most men can arouse easily and take little time to orgasm. Women, on the other hand need more encouragement.
This might have to do with conditioning. Like anything in life, the more we do something the quicker and more efficient we become. Most teenaged boys masturbate, therefore, by the time they reach manhood, most can achieve an erection and experience orgasm within minutes. For some men, foreplay can be an unnecessary distraction which can lead to premature ejaculation. If they spend too much time on foreplay they probably won’t last very long during intercourse. Some men therefore limit the amount of foreplay so intercourse is prolonged. Make sense?
There’s no changing biology (well there is but that’s a different conversation!) and some sexual positions are better for women to achieve orgasm, like straddling her partner. The women on top is popular for this reason, because she can control the areas being stimulated. Plus, women can grind, which will stimulate the clitoris while her man thrusts.
The only problem with this is that it can get boring repeating the same position over and over again. Being the primary way many women achieve orgasm, regularly changing positions can deter bedroom boredom, assist the duration of intercourse and women can “finish” on top.
Another way to make orgasm more achievable is through masturbation. Women can achieve a similar level of stimulation, to that of their partners, by practicing. If it seems to take an eternity to achieve orgasm, masturbating might help.
Women can use visual or auditory imagery during masturbation, much like men. Self-exploration maybe what’s required to discover what’s hot and what’s not! Using the imagery during foreplay can prepare the body faster and make orgasm more achievable during vaginal intercourse.
Lastly, a women can help condition her man to last longer. This can be achieved by taking a break during foreplay, switching positions or getting him to think about other things during foreplay and intercourse.
Work together to find solutions and on achieving a happy medium. Remember, your man isn’t responsible for your orgasm. You are! Women can practice to orgasm more efficiently and men can practice to orgasm less efficiently. This is what happens naturally as a man ages and possibly why it’s recommended that sex can and often does get better!
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