Tales Of A F*ckgirl: Exposing My Stalker (He Mauled Me!)

July 15, 2019

Have you ever sent a drunk text that you REALLY regret? The fifth (and funniest) story in the ‘Tales of a Fuckgirl’ series…

When we last left off, I had just woken up in a pile of my own vomit to a Snapchat that sunk my stomach…

Before we can unpack why that Snapchat was so spooky I have to confess something to you guys.

I had a stalker.

My first attempt at online dating had led me to ‘Stalker Guy’. My self-esteem was at rock bottom as this was the first date I went on after my marriage had broken down. I was thrilled at the concept of being back in the dating game and would have gone out with literally anyone.

He was friendly and nice – but not much else.

I still went through with the date and things went a little different to what I had expected.

We took a romantic walk along Sydney Harbour when he leaned in for what I thought was going to be a kiss.

Have you ever had your faced mauled by a dog?

No? Well, that’s what this so-called ‘kiss’ was like. I felt like my face was being licked by a labrador.

As I was wiping the saliva from my face he asked me on a second date and being caught off guard, I reluctantly agreed.

After the second date I tried to let him down gently but failed miserably. It wasn’t until the end of the third date when I decided enough was enough.

I told Stalker Guy that it had been fun but I really wasn’t feeling it – and that’s when things really amped up.

In the fifth installment of my ‘Tales of A Fuckgirl’ series, I tell you how three dates and saliva turned into a full-blown stalker.

You won’t want to miss this…

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Featured image via pexels.com

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