Tales of A F*ckgirl: Ordering Penis Like It Was Pizza

July 22, 2019

He had the most beautiful penis I had ever seen. The seventh story in the ‘Tales of A Fuckgirl’ series…

Have you ever met a boy who was so pretty, but oh-so dumb?

This guy had the body of a Greek God and the face of an angel but unfortunately, his pretty head didn’t have much room for a brain.

I was willing to look past it if his penis was as good as his handshake…

I bet you’re still waiting to know what those three little words that made my ovaries explode were, right? ‘Country Boy’s’ text changed everything and within 20 minutes, he was in my bed – or at least I wish he was.

Instead, he lingered by my bedroom door making the most cringe-worthy small talk of all time. He asked about the weather and my life pretending that he wasn’t just there for sex.

To take the edge off, I offered him a beer and sat through the longest awkward catch up of my life. He (finally) finished his drink and I was ready for things to get hot and heavy.

Imagine my surprise when I leaned in for the kiss and he kissed me back like he would kiss his grandma.

Kissing was off the table and foreplay was out the window. I took my own panties off and unbuttoned his pants to find the most surprising thing…

He had the most beautiful penis I had ever seen. Now, I’m usually indifferent to penises and I don’t really like to spend much time looking at them. Country Boy had a penis I wanted to dress up and introduce to my friends and WOW did it deliver.

Welcome to the seventh and juiciest story in the ‘Tales of A Fuckgirl‘ series. You’re going to want to have a glass of wine on hand for this one!

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