The Internet Is Convinced Katy Perry Is JonBenet Ramsay

February 29, 2016

They look alike, so obviously they’re the same person.

You’ll be hard pressed finding anyone on the planet who hasn’t at some point in their lives had a doppelganger; a German term for someone who is your lookalike aka long-lost twin. (People used to constantly insist my highschool BFF and I had to be sisters thanks to our eerily similar facial features and long dark locks. We never tired of using it to our hilarious advantage.)

But the conspiracy theorists of the interweb have taken this idea to a whole new (and crazy AF) level, insisting the striking resemblance between pop star Katy Perry and child pageant queen JonBenet Ramsey, who was found murdered in the basement of her Colorado home at age six in 1996, is because Perry is in fact Ramsey, and Ramsey’s murder was all an act, staged to turn her into a pop icon. (Er, what?)

It’s hard to argue Perry doesn’t look incredibly similar to Ramsey, but to argue this resemblance is proof of a conspiracy theory bigger than Elvis being in witness protection would seem a stretch to most sane-minded people.

We get it. They look similar.
We get it. They look similar.

Nevertheless, the internet is losing its marbles over the far-fetched claims made in a 2014 YouTube video by conspiracy theorist Dave Johnson, which has just started going viral, racking up almost two million views in the past week, despite the fact Johnson’s theory has several major holes – the biggest being the fact Ramsey’s body never went missing.

Regardless, Johnson argues in his video that, “JonBenét Ramsey did not die, nobody died, nobody got hurt. But she was sacrificed. That sacrifice was in name only, and that sacrifice was to get something, and that something was to become a star.” Er…right.

He even goes on to speculate that Perry’s parents are in fact Ramsey’s parents, due to their physical similarities, also disregarding the fact Ramsey’s mother Patsy Ramsey died of cancer in 2006.

To date, Ramsey’s murderer has not been found, though several theories surrounding her brutal murder by strangulation have included the child beauty queen’s parents and brother, Burke, who was nine years-old at the time of her homicide.

I’m willing to admit Perry looks strikingly similar to how I’d imagine a grown-up Ramsay today, as do her parents, it’d be fair to say they’re doppelgangers; but that’s about as far as I’m willing to suspend my disbelief. To speculate any further is not only ludicrous (I’m still waiting for the explanation as to how Ramsay’s lifeless body, recovered by police, was resurrected), it’s more poignantly hugely disrespectful to Ramsay’s friends and family. So until an actual plausible theory surfaces from the Boulder County Police Department, I’m going to put this video where it belongs, back in the crackpot basket.

Video via youtube.com.

Comment: What do you think of the JonBenet Ramsay conspiracy theory video? Do you think it’s in poor taste?


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