never wish to in our ‘real’ lives, and this is not only common, but healthy. Fantasies are a healthy expression of our desires and feelings, but most fantasies are not meant for actual enactment.Female fantasies tend to focus on personal partners, and people women know. It is very common for women to fantasise about other women, but this does not automatically mean a woman is gay or bisexual. In fact, lesbians can fantasise about men, and this does not mean they have suddenly turned
heterosexual!. Most female fantasies are heavy on the sensual, and on desire and lust, while light on violence. However, a great many women have fantasies about dominance and control. Being raped is a frequent female fantasy. It *never* means a woman desires to be raped. Rape fantasies are more commonly about wanting to feel unbridled passion and lust, to feel dominated and out of control. Fantasies are a liberating and creative way for us to express our complex sexuality. Most subjects – whether it is making love with the woman across the road, or off the silver screen ? are not reliable signs of what we would actually like to do in our ‘real’ lives. They are sexual charges; sparks to keep our passions burning. So whether you get your sexual rush from fantasising about the guy in the Diet Coke ad, or Drew Barrymore, you’re a normal hot-blooded woman.
By Dr Gabrielle Morrissey (adapted from the chapter ‘Dirty Talk and Naughty
Thoughts’ in her book, URGE). Buy a copy of Urge from the SheSaid Bookshop.
Top five women SheSaid women would most like to have a saucy encounter with?
Top five men SheSaid women would most like to have a saucy encounter with?
* results compiled from a recent SheSaid promotion.