Because big things are made up of little things.
There’s tons of advice out there about how to make your marriage last.
Learn how to fight fair, make an effort to keep your sex life hot, be honest with each other – but not too honest – and above all, be kind. The thing about advice is, it’s a lot easier to give than it is to take. So much of it is general and far-reaching; how can you even know where to start?
Sometimes what you need is a clear-cut, straightforward piece of wisdom: a small thing you can do right now. Because that bigger stuff – being kind, being honest, keeping the spark alive – is made up of small moments. Something that might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of life could actually be the thing that builds your marriage up and makes it strong enough to go the distance.
Here are 29 things you might not have thought mattered, but really do…
1. Let something go.
He did it again – the thing that drives you absolutely bananas – and you’re ready to let him have it. Instead, just let it go (this time, anyway). If you’re still mad tomorrow, fight about it then.
2. Take his side.
Next time your partner tells you about a frustration at work, or with his family, don’t try to play devil’s advocate or be the voice of reason. Just be on his side, no questions asked.
3. Kiss him goodbye.
Not just a peck, but a lingering, six-seconds-or-more kiss. Every morning, no matter how rushed you are. It’s worth it.
4. Go for a run.
Or take a yoga class, or ride your bike, or go to Zumba. Taking care of your health is a gift to your partner, as well as to yourself.
5. Surprise him.
What would he never expect you to do in a million years, but he’d love it if you did? Do that.
6. Unfriend your exes.
What’s the big deal about being friends with an ex on Facebook? Nothing. So don’t be friends. Close those doors and move on.
7. Stop complaining.
If you’re upset about something, talk to your partner about it – don’t run him down to your friends or your family.
8. Hold hands.
The importance of physical touch can’t be overstated; it’s everything. Hold tight to each other.
9. Take trips together.
Get out of your comfort zone and have an adventure.
10. Give him your phone passcode.
You shouldn’t have to give up your privacy just because you’re married. But letting him know you’ve got nothing to hide shows a level of trust that can only make your marriage stronger.
11. Find out what his “love language” is.
Take this quiz and find out what makes him feel the most loved.
12. Brag about him.
Tell your friends about his promotion at work, or his amazing singing voice, or his talent for picking the perfect gift. Do it so he can hear you. He’ll love you even more.
13. Go with him on a boring errand.
It’ll be less boring if you do it together.
14. Meet at the restaurant.
You know, the way you used to when you were dating. Put on your red lipstick and sexy heels and take his breath away when he sees you waiting at the bar.
15. Have your own life.
You’ll have a lot more to talk about at dinner if you’ve each got your own thing going on.
16. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Next time he screws up, assume good intent. We all fall short, all the time.
17. Talk dirty in bed.
Every man loves it. Every. Man. Guaranteed.
18. Write him a love letter.
Put a stamp on it and send it in the actual mail.
Tell him a bad joke, tell him the crazy thing that happened at work, show him the face you made in third grade to crack up the other kids in the cafeteria. Love is fed by laughter.
20. Forgive him.
Grudges don’t make for good marriages. If it’s worth splitting up over, then split up. Otherwise, wipe the slate clean.
21. Have more sex.
In so many marriages, sex dwindles over the years. Don’t let yours be one of them. Do it tonight.
22. Indulge (at least) one of his fantasies.
23. Pay attention to him.
Don’t read your email while you’re on the phone with him, don’t pull your phone out at dinner, don’t “mmm-hmmm” him when he tells you how his day was.
24. Read his horoscope.
Is astrology real? Who cares? Send him his horoscope and let him know you’re thinking about him.
25. Don’t keep a stiff upper lip.
Go ahead and cry in front of him. Be vulnerable. Let him see the whole you, no hiding.
26. Show up for him.
We’re all busy – but we make time for the things that count. Watch him play softball with his office league, go to the open mic night when he reads his poetry, pick him up from the airport. It matters.
27. Say thank you.
Make sure he knows you don’t take him for granted.
28. Close the bathroom door.
It’s good to keep a little mystery in a relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together.
29. Be loyal above all else.
You and your partner are a team, and no one comes between you. Not a child, or a parent, or an ex, or a best friend. No one. Always put each other first. End of story.
Image via pinterest
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