Weekend Wit: Caught In The Interwebs (Or Not)
As we all know, life can be pretty ordinary at times and what a better way to destress, than a bit of comedy. We’re not talking fart jokes, either! Here at SHESAID we believe our readers are considerably more sophisticated than that. So our aim is to provide you will some good old fashioned, belly aching funnies, based on all the things which crop up on this adventure we call life. So, top up ya cuppa, throw the kids or pets outside and enjoy the ride!
Technology. Great invention, isn’t it? But what about when it doesn’t work for you? If you’re reading this, you’ve probably been there. If not… bugger off because you are either way too young or far too intelligent to find this funny anyway.
So, there you are, ready to surf the net or maybe you have something more important to do (what, I don’t know!) and the damn internet won’t co-operate.
First of all, you reached out for your favourite tech expert. Unfortunately, it’s nap time or they are at school and they can’t help you. Damn! Plan B is to turn the device off and restart it. You think to yourself, yep this will work. After waiting 5 minutes for this to happen, you realise you wasted 5 minutes of your precious life. Still no net on your device.
Lots of us would then do a google search on another device. Ahhh, at least that works! Or does it? You choose a site to head to, out of the 189, 006 that are available and start reading. Nope, nothing helpful here. So you head to the next and the next and the next. After opening 20 sites, you’ve struck gold! There it is – a step by step YouTube video on how to fix your problem.
You click on the video and wait while it’s buffering; which stops and starts like an old man with a poor prostate. After spending another 15 minutes of your life watching the demonstration, you are told this only works on a particular model, version or whatever else makes your device incompatible. Now, why the heck didn’t they tell you that at the start?
You continue to search by the model number, item and whatever else needs to be completely specific. An hour has gone by, as you’ve tried to fix the problem. Your bloody pressure is rising and your heart is pumping. Not to the point where you’re about to loose it though; that will come later.
You finally find something which looks might it might help you, but probably won’t, so you try the step by step instructions anyway. You know it won’t fix your problem, but you’re mighty determined. This sucka ain’t guna beat you! Seriously, how hard hard can it be? It’s a piece of plastic, people. Even though it’s clearly an inanimate object, it does have a brain of its own and at the moment, it’s winning!
So, you sit and ponder for a while. Contemplate throwing said item out of the closest window and decide instead, to get up and walk away. You’ve reached that point of no return. Right at that moment, the tech expert you wanted at the beginning, crawls or walks into the room. Ahhh, you breath a sigh of relief! Seeing the look on your face, they smile and sit down in front of the item. Within about half a split second, they turn to you and say, “I’ve fixed it.”
You give them an approving smile and a giant hug, while thinking of choking them, because you have no idea what the heck they did to fix the internet issue and the fact they have no intention of telling you their secret. You’ve been completely outsmarted, by a chunk of plastic and a snotty-nosed kid!
You look down at the screen and realise that you had forgotten to switch to the wireless setting! Seriously, could it have been that easy? Ah, yeah. You realise you have just wasted another hour and a half of your precious life, plus added several wrinkles and grey hairs to your evolving collection.
Image via visionapp.wordpress.com
Stacey has 10 years experience in both print and digital media. Her many roles in the Australian media industry include being a freelance web editor for several women’s lifestyle magazines, editor and social media manager for leading fashion and beauty website, 2threads.com and deputy chief sub editor of madison magazine. She has also worked on The Sydney Morning Herald, The Sun-Herald and the Canberra Times.