Families come is all shapes and sizes. And just because you share similar genes doesn’t automatically mean you are going to get along. There have been times in my life when I’ve had to ask the questions: Was I adopted? Was I separated at birth from my real family? Who the hell are these people and please tell me I’m nothing like them!
Then you question yourself: I’m not like them, am I? No one wants to be like people that they dislike, but the reality is there’s probably more similarities than differences. Thank goodness there’s a little thing called denial to keep you sane. Hey, better to deny than self-loathe, right?
Then, of course, as you get older and find a partner, in-laws come into the picture. They are the gene-lessly related people you need to accept as part of your family. At least with your own family you can make choices about who to hang out with and who to ditch. In-laws are a completely different type of hell. You need to take your partner into consideration. Well, if you want your relationship to last, that is.
Speaking from experience, your partner doesn’t want to hear how much they irritate you or that you wouldn’t have this person in their life if it wasn’t for them. Yeah, it’s probably not the best way to go about it. If you are looking for a good way to start an argument, though, it’s highly recommended!
As it turns out, they just want the people they love to get along. Oh, how damn selfish of them and if it was only that easy. Sometimes in life there are people who you just can’t stand. What, you’re supposed to tolerate them, just because your partner wants you to? Ah, unfortunately yes!
So, what do you do about them? These people, or maybe a particular person, who makes you feel terrible because you struggle to do this one thing for your partner? I know. Smile nicely, thinking back to the last episode of Dexter and the possibility of taking out the trash in your life. Think about it. Your problem would be solved, but could you actually do it? No, me neither. Instead, you’re faced with a life-long lesson in patience, tolerance and all that other stuff which most humans choose to do in fairly small doses. Aren’t you lucky to have this opportunity?
Unfortunately, these no secret recipes or script to follow. Most of us with a hellish in-law just need to wing it. If you can avoid them; great. If you can’t; sorry you need to accept shit just happens! You might need to remind yourself that there’s a good person in there somewhere. With some people, though, you’ll need to look deep, really, really deep!