Weekend Wit: Funny Decals And Bumper Stickers

Travelling by road can be a tedious task. There’s all that traffic to contend with and very little entertainment, so it’s enlightening to see people’s attempt at humour with the vast selection of bumper stickers and decals drivers have opted to display on their vehicles.
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Ironically, you can tell a lot about a car’s owner from their sticker choices. Some are family people, with those little stick figures that every second family car seems to have; then there’s the activists who use their car to advertise, whether it be religion, politics, animal or environmental causes. Then there’s the other type of driver who decides to use their vehicle to tell us all a bit more about themselves. Curious? Here’s what i’m talking about…
Obviously the owner of this vehicle doesn’t picture themselves as any type of saint; or perhaps they are referring to a regular passenger like their beloved partner, perhaps?
This one lets people know not to ask the owner for any favours.
This one screams sexual deviate! If this owner was picking up your daughter for a date, would you let her go? Probably not.
Clearly not a fan of people who park in disabled parking zones.
This car is owned by a married man who’s obviously not too wealthy.
Hard to tell if this driver is male or female, but they aren’t afraid to use sign-language to get their point across.
Possibly owned by an older person who was never been a surfer at any stage during their lifetime.
A mechanic who describes his worth as a man by his ability to change the oil? Sad, but perhaps true.
It’s more than likely that this chap is a science buff who thinks NASA’s advertising is pretty awesome.
Now here’s a dilemma… Yes, it’s a mothers mini van and she just may be a hooker, but more than likely she’s discovered an outstanding way to get her children to catch the bus instead of asking for a lift.
Here’s a disgruntled single driver who probably hasn’t been laid in a while. Potentially because she’s been disillusioned with her former partners!
Clearly an advocate of Bill Clinton; they are supporting his decision to receive a blow job, regardless of losing the most significant job in the US.
Ahh, a classic for anyone who can recall when panel vans and drive-ins reigned supreme. Possibly a 1960’s vintage?
Here’s a reminder to top up the superannuation: This retiree has been unable to afford a decent car – check out that rust!
Here’s a BMW owned by a successful woman who isn’t afraid to misbehave to reach her goals. Go girl!
Possibly a female’s car, although it may be a male with an unusual imagination. Can you imagine a mans bumper sticker saying ‘dance like your penis is on fire’? Not likely.
A proud parent of none owns this one and is not afraid to share what type of contraception they use.
The Ass family vehicle. Wise and Smart don’t sound too bad, but calling the kids Lazy, Kiss and Dumb is just plain mean. Break out the check book people because these kids will be needing therapy in a few years.
Looks like a vintage motorbike, so perhaps this owner is in to older models – women included?
This person clearly has money to waste on crap like this bumper sticker which they find amusing.
The fact that their number plate holder reads “insured by mafia” makes me think that they’d care about their stick family, but wouldn’t give two hoots about yours.
Ahh, a technology fan! What’s the bet that they’ve got a Bluetooth stereo connected to their new iPhone inside. It screams: “Yep, I’ve got all the latest gadgets. Come break into me!”
A philosopher or perhaps a pot smoker who likes to ponder the absurd. BTW, the world doesn’t fart, people do.
Grandpa Simpson’s Kia.
Definitely the vehicle of a cynic who thinks too highly of others.
Well if the target is 2.5 beers, they aren’t a heavy drinker. If anyone is up for some fun, however, throw a couple of ales this guy’s way!
Possibly a spiritual soul, but definitely not a church goer.
My best guess here would be that this person is someone’s wife whose probably of the superwomen variety.
Well, they obviously aren’t the boss; so this car belongs to an unhappy employee.
This is every young man’s worst nightmare – and I’d say he’d be a little intimidating.
Given the right circumstances, I’m sure we could all paste this one on our vehicles. So the owner of this car is anyone’s guess!
Images via Various Sources
Kim is a writer and SHESAID's resident psychologist. A self-proclaimed tomboy who understands more about relationships and men than she ever will about glitz and glamour. Follow Kim on Google+.