Weekend Wit: Men and Menstruation
Men. They really are strange. The way they make decisions, their behavior, what they pay attention to and how they go about things makes the female mind boggle! Take menstruation for example. What is it about women’s periods that freaks them out and has them running for the nearest exit?
For example, if you are chatting on the phone to a friend or have your BFF over for coffee, a sure-fire way to stop any man from eavesdropping on your conversation is to throw in the topic of your menstrual cycle. It’s like female Kryptonite! They’ve overheard the word period and they leave the vicinity faster than Superman on a mission. (Tip: Don’t forget to use this one to your advantage!)
Then there’s buying feminine hygiene products for female partners. This is possibly the one incidence whereby gay men are envied by heterosexual males. If your fella is like most of his comrades, this is the one request he could probably do without.
Yes, he will need to walk into the shop and find his way to the feminine hygiene section. Challenge number one. Once there, he will likely be completely overwhelmed when he is instantly confronted with – a wall of feminine hygiene options. Pure horror for the average bloke. Super, regular, flow related, wings, no wings; all of which he knows nothing about. Challenge number two.
Although preferred products are usually neatly placed in her section of the bathroom cabinet – which is shared and he actually opens each day – he chooses not to see them. This is a man skill learned and passed down through generations with utter perfection. The products are there but the connection between his eyes and brain are severed when it comes to anything related to feminine hygiene. (Tip: This is where to hide your own private collection of sex toys because he’ll never see them!)
Back to challenge number two. Men can go either one of two ways when it comes to selecting tampons for their lady. If a man chooses a super-sized product, he has done so with his anatomy is mind. During the selection process, he has come to the assumption that the size of the tampon reflects how endowed he believes he is. If he can fit inside that vagina, it must need a super-sized tampon. Yes, ladies, that’s the logic!
If the man selects the regular or smaller variety, he has done so with her anatomy in mind. These products have been selected because he wants to believe her lady bits, are too small for super-sized products. The thought of his lady using super-sized tampons is a concept he just doesn’t want to envisage. Once again, male logic at work. How on earth was the wheel or electricity ever invented?
Whatever rationale he uses to make the selection; he then finds his way to the checkout. Challenge number three. Some men feel a bit awkward about this. The big question is why? Everyone knows the product isn’t for him. Not unless he’s hiding a vagina in his pants! Maybe there lies the fear?
Despite all men knowing that women bleed once a month, it’s not something the vast majority want to delve into any further. Why any man would want to become a gynecologist is a pure mystery. Maybe they have a defective male gene, assume women visiting the gynecologist aren’t menstruating or something along those lines. Remember, we are dealing with male logic and decision making, so who knows, and most of these men would say women are strange!