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Weekend Wit: Is Penis Size A Myth?

Weekend Wit: Is Penis Size A Myth?

Is penis size a myth? Hmm, it depends on which side of the equation you sit on this. Some say yes it is a myth and others say absolutely not! Penis size does matter, in fact, it matters a heck of a lot.

I’d like to say for argument’s sake and to make men out there feel better by saying that penis size is a big fat urban myth. Just because a man is well endowed it doesn’t automatically qualify said man as being an incredible lover. I know some women out there will be jumping up and down right now, but wait, ladies. If you think I’m wrong let me take you on a bit of a journey and provide some proof. Yes, there is actual proof!

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The tradie

Being a tremendous lover is like any other skill that’s acquired. It’s not something men put on their resumes or display on their LinkedIn accounts for all the world to see, but we can agree it’s a skill nonetheless. Tradies also have skills, yeah?

Now, when women hire tradies to fix their cars or something around their homes, they don’t base their selection on the size of the tradies tools now do they? Do they choose a mechanic by the size of the money wrench? Carpenter by the size of the hammer or plumber by the size of a plunger? No, they don’t. How bloody bizarre would that be?

Instead, they might chat to a few, get a couple of quotes and base their decision on the best quote or the tradie they feel most confident with. See where I’m heading with this? Tool size and skill have no connection people. None. Unless a tradie skillfully knows how to operate their tools, they won’t get the job done properly at all. A man with a hammer does not a carpenter make. Understand?

Sex toys

Now if penis size was a defining factor to get women off why are there vibrators the size of an index finger? Also, why is this size one of the best-selling vibrators and why do manufacturers continue to come up with more colours, designs and so forth? Plus, why wouldn’t the sex toy industry just make all vibrators and dildos the size of a well-endowed man or larger, if all that mattered was penis size? Why?

Well, I’ll tell you why. Size does not matter. Simple. Plus how on earth would a woman manage to keep a vibrator hidden in her handbag if they were all made based on the myth that bigger is better?

Image for a second a woman rummaging through her handbag as most women are known to do. She’s right in the middle of her favourite busy cafe about to pay for her morning latte. As she’s pulling out her purse flies one of those extra-large vibrators with a strong resemblance to a gigantic penis. OMG, can you imagine! Is bigger better now ladies?

These women know that a small discrete bullet-sized vibrator will do the job. Plus if the above fore-mentioned scenario did happen most people would think she’s just dropped her lipstick, not her favourite sex toy. She can calmly pick it up, pops it back in her handbag and no-one would be the wiser. I don’t think she could do that with something bigger, do you?

It’s what’s attached that counts

Most women would have to agree that what’s attached to the penis far outweighs penis size. If penis size was the only thing that mattered men wouldn’t be covering up. They’d be heading to the nearest plastic surgeon, getting massive implants and parading around their most prized possession.

Much like those women with ridiculously large boob jobs who are known to parade around rich old men like Geoffrey Edelsten, for them to make their breast selection. Oh sorry, their wife selection. Clearly, these men believe the bigger the better. Hmm, I wonder if that applies to them? OMG, what am I saying? Sorry I really don’t wonder. Particularly in these cases, I’m very glad men aren’t parading around, penis out!

Evolution

Lastly, I’m pulling out the big guns and offering scientific proof! If women preferred well-endowed men why are there so many men walking around with small penises? Wouldn’t the evolutionary process of natural selection have snuffed them out by now? Think about that one.

Images: huffingtonpost.com, groupon.ca, reddit.com, pintrest.com


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