The sex-starved spouse club isn’t the type of club where membership is eagerly sought! Plus, it’s a secret club where membership isn’t often discussed. If and when a spouse turns off the intimacy tap, it can affect the other spouse in weird and far from wonderful ways!
There’s also a process which members usually go through, too. It’s not an instant membership like joining a library or the old DVD shop either, where you sign up and get to borrow whatever you like right there on the spot. No. It’s more like a gym membership. Let me explain what I’m talking about.
When most people join a gym, they are really into it. They’ll go as often as possible, but they don’t really consider themselves a fully fledged member because they are still testing their commitment. As time goes on, the visits get less regular. This is when they do consider themselves a member because they are continuously coughing up the monthly payment despite how many times they visit. Can you see where I’m heading with this? This is parallel to how membership into the sex-staved spouse club begins.
This is also the stage where the obvious lack of sex is discussed and the sex starved spouse still tries to initiate some form of intimacy. However, rejection after rejection, strange things do begin to happen.
I’m talking about internalisation. For many members, they will begin to internalise the issue. Is it me? What’s wrong with me? Don’t they love me anymore? Blah, blah, blah. All that soul destroying stuff which could be prevented if the couple just talked about the issue and got some help.
The only thing is, the turner of the intimacy tap isn’t budging. They dig their heels in, for whatever reason and because the conversations about the lack of sex starts to end up becoming an argument each time, they project their problem onto their spouse. Yes, it is your looks, weight, attitude… This isn’t a joke. This stuff actually happens!
This is when members have their insecurities confirmed. For some members, this is when the weight begins to pile on, they lose faith in their capacity to please their partner and “attempt” to suffer in silence. By attempt, I mean they go about their daily activity, vividly aware there is a problem. Discussions about their lack of intimacy, is like the big, fat, pink elephant in the room!
Every now and then members just need to say something. Anything! They know there’s no point, but they just need to make it known that this just isn’t going away. It’s going to linger there like a stale old fart in bed, just waiting for some poor buggar to lift the covers and expose it for what it is.
For other members, the thought of cheating becomes a very viable option. They might even threaten it. Repeatedly! It makes no difference, though, what the members do. The intimacy tap tightens even further and all that’s left is the application of super glue!
After a while, loyal members just give up. They know their partner has shut down, closed shop and made it startlingly clear that intimacy is no longer a part of their relationship. Yep, they are effectively living as housemates, or worse, it feels like they are sleeping next to their sibling!
This is when their membership in the sex starved spouse club is confirmed. If they are “lucky” members might get birthday sex once a year. The sort of sex that it’s hot, steamy and exciting, but more like a pity put out. Yes folks, membership into the sex starved spouse club certainly isn’t pretty, so it’s no wonder members kept it such a big secret!
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