Weekend Wit: Thank God For Man Crèche

November 22, 2014

Like most women, I love to shop. I like to head to the local mall, strolling from shop to shop; picking up one item and then another to examine it for its value, purpose, fit, texture, durability, style, blah, blah, blah. It’s a process. A long one! Most men, on the other hand, loathe shopping with a passion.

You can see them at the shops, disinterested, with distracted look on their faces, regularly staring down at their watches and we know they’re just wondering how long this hellish experience is going to last. A torturous affair for you both!

It is pretty amusing though, when men spot another masculine soul on the arm of their lady. They too are being led from shop to shop without making a single purchase. When they make eye contact, you can almost hear the conversation going on behind the smile or the grin: “Yeah, I know mate. Hell, isn’t it? I’d rather be doing anything else as well. Yeah, I’m only doing it to get laid too buddy, don’t you worry about that. It’s ok brother, you aren’t alone.”

They pass each other both knowing the sheer agony of their situation. Stuck at the damn mall with the missus. Hour after after of “Do you like this one? Hang on, what about that one? Which one do you like better? Do you mind if we just have a look in here for a minute?” Knowing all too well that they will be there over half an hour. Men at the mall don’t need to say a word. They know what’s in each other’s thoughts. Torture. Utter… Bloody…. Torture! Why was it they agree to tag along? Oh, that’s right. Sex.

Now, not many people are aware, but there is an alternative. You can drive to and from the shops together, but instead of dragging him round the mall, where you know he clearly doesn’t want to be, but has only gone to “please” you; he can go directly to the man crèche. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but inside or very close to most shopping malls lies a pub.

Driving on the way to a large local mall one day, there was a sign outside one of them. It was only weeks before Christmas and the sign said, “We will look after your man, while you go shopping!” Well, the look on my partners face was ecstatic. “Man crèche?” he proposed, smiling from ear to ear as if he’d be stranded in the desert and just discovered water.

So man crèche it was. Oh, thank God! Best shopping expedition either of us have ever had. It’s put a new spin on the word “shopping” that we can both actually enjoy. Him at the “man crèche”, me at the shops – shopping expeditions made in heaven.

Image via c2.staticflickr.com/4/3577/3321835983_12e2f1efa5.jpg

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