What to do when your family love your ex and hoped he’d become a son in law?

July 27, 2004

What to do when your family love your ex and hoped he’d become a son in law?

Brit had the opposite problem after marrying Jason
Okay so your family were your boyfriend’s biggest fans and now your boyfriend is your ex. They thought he was perfect for you, they treated him like a visiting celebrity. Your mother cooked his favourite meals and laughed at all of his joke. Your father treated him like a mate. He bought tickets for the two of them to go to the footy together and always made sure your ex’s favourite beer was on ice in case he dropped by. The family hung on his every word and as far as you could see, in their eyes, he could do no wrong. You were congratulated by the family for being such a clever girl in hooking such a perfect guy. And now it’s over.

In this situation the fallout, hurt and confusion is not just yours, it’s shared by your family. You and your ex had become fixtures in each other’s family lives so along with the loss of what was once your happy ever after you’ll be expected to explain what happened. They’ll want to know the what, why and how of the bust up.

Often they can’t understand why the two people they thought were perfect for each other are not still together. They might feel like they had invested their own emotions in the relationship and this makes them feel like they have a right to know what went wrong.

I’m a strong believer in not hating the ex just because he’s the ex. There were reasons you liked this guy enough to be with him and chances are these are the same reasons you could still be friends.

There are a few things you need to do. Talk to your family, tell them what happened. Don’t dump on your ex to your family. They liked him as a person and it is not emotionally supportive of them to join you in a hate the ex session. Be prepared for them to not feel about your ex the way you do. If he was a genuinely nice guy and they liked him, their feelings for him may not have changed and you need to respect this.

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