When you earn more than him …

June 29, 2009

How to balance your relationship when you bring home more dough than your beau!

I was watching an episode of “Lipstick Jungle” last week and a scene where Nico and Kirby fight over money really hit home because a friend of mine is going through the same thing with her man. She is a lawyer and he has just lost his job so things have been tough lately as she is the only one earning any money. Just like Kirby and Nico they are struggling to deal with the fact that she earns more than him.

I was also interested in an episode of “60 Minutes” recently where the husbands of the two women who created The “4 ingredients recipe book” had both quit their jobs to stay at home and raise their kids. This is not an uncommon situation these days but I wonder if it will affect their relationship at all over time?

So whether you’re a woman who can afford to buy her own Louis Vuitton shoes or your man has fallen on hard times, how do you deal when you earn more than him?

Top tips

  • Don’t pull a power trip – Because we often equate money with power the person who earns less often feels like they have less say in matters. Even if you’re paying his part of the fare so he can fly to the Maldives with you, make sure you give him equal vote on holiday activities.

  • Let him pay where he can – Let your partner fork out for the “small stuff”, such as movies and cheap dinners. He’ll want to feel he’s contributing something to the relationship.

  • Pay for your perks – If giving up certain deluxe pleasures being with a no-money man is going to make you grumpy and resentful, pay for them on your own. As Jessica, 27, a film producer living with a struggling musician says: “I’m the one who cares where we live. If we didn’t share our rent according to our incomes, we’d live in a rat hole, and I refuse to live in an apartment that’s not beautiful. So he pays the same rent as he did in his old place, and I pay the rest.”

  • Don’t like about it – The worst thing you can do is lie about how much you earn because not only will it do nothing for your self esteem but these things always have a way of coming out and they often don’t end pretty! You shouldn’t have to change yourself so your man can feel secure about himself so don’t even let anyone make you feel bad for being successful. Just be mindful of his feelings but remain the person he met and fell in love with – it’s the best thing you can do for both of you!

    Do you earn more than your man? Have you ever lied about money? Share your story and tips now!

    For more relationship advice click here!

    Want More?

    Have our best reads delivered straight to your inbox every week by subscribing to our newsletter.



  • You Said


    Win a holiday to Bali
    Win 10K cash