Why Chocolate Is Better Than Ryan Gosling

March 17, 2015
Ryan Gosling

Hey girl. If you can’t get through each day without a cheeky treat, you may feel slightly more guilty turning to a block of chocolate over looking at a picture of Ryan Gosling. Here, however, are some good reasons as to why you actually should choose that box of Malteasers over a rerun of Blue Valentine.

Chocolate can help warm your toes

Ok, ok. So if you were in a room with the real Ryan Gosling, I’m sure he could warm your toes too. If you only have a picture of him though, it would need to be printed on a thick piece of paper for the same effect. Chocolate warms your toes by improving your blood flow and circulation. There’s a reason you get those hot chocolate cravings in the middle of winter.

Chocolate makes you happy instantly

The coco in chocolate boosts serotonin in the brain which enhances your mood. While watching Crazy Stupid Love can also enhance your mood, it takes a couple more hours to do so. If you’re in need of an instant pick-me-up, chocolate is the way to go.

Chocolate is good for that time of the month

Similarly to the above point, brain serotonin drops prior to and during your period. While a picture of a hunky guy may help a bit at this point, the stimulation of serotonin that comes from a chocolate bar will do a lot more for getting you through the next six days or so.

Chocolate shows you care

One joy of Easter is hiding chocolate for the kids to find and sparking their wonder about a giant rabbit’s generous habits. Similarly, giving a box of chocolates to mum on Mother’s Day says ‘thanks’ for the myriad of dinners she’s cooked for you. Yes, mum would probably like Ryan Gosling too, but he’s not as widely available as a box of Cadbury Favourites.

Chocolate stops you from being sick

The cocoa in chocolate gives you a healthy dose of antioxidants with each mouthful. These antioxidants protect your body’s cells and can work to prevent various forms of sickness. Will Ryan Gosling be there to help protect you from heart disease? I don’t think so.

Chocolate makes people buy romantic literature

Ok, so Ryan Gosling may have the same effect, but we don’t know because this hasn’t been tested under rigorous scientific conditions. A 2013 study however did find that customers in a book shop were more likely to buy a romance novel if they were exposed to the scent of chocolate. If you ever need to shift any old copies of Fifty Shades of Grey at your next garage sale, just rip open a Twix.

Countries that eat more chocolate produce more Nobel Laureates

There is a significant correlation of chocolate consumption and a country’s number of Nobel Prize winners. It is no surprise that Switzerland tops the list both in terms of chocolate intake and Nobel Laureates. If you’re looking to make a serious breakthrough in quantum mechanics, eating a Bounty wouldn’t go astray. To date, there has been no study on how Ryan Gosling affects a country’s production of Nobel Laureates.

Chocolate works like truth serum

A UK survey found that more than 70 per cent of people would reveal their computer password in exchange for a chocolate bar. If you want to hack your friend’s Facebook page to spam it with cat pictures, just give them a block of Dairy Milk. I’m not sure watching The Notebook will give you this kind of access.

Chocolate is widely available

The real Ryan Gosling is not.

All in all, the benefits of chocolate far outweigh the benefits of Ryan Gosling. Now if Ryan Gosling were standing in front of you holding a Crunchie that would be a whole other matter.

This post was written by Jodee Wearne, the owner and manager of Just In Time Gourmet in Perth who provide a wide range of pre-designed gift baskets and create your own hampers as well as a wide range of chocolate goodies!

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