Why Do Guys Assume I Want A Relationship?

July 16, 2019

Nobody likes when assumptions are made, especially when it comes to dating.

When someone assumes you want to get into a serious relationship with them, especially when it’s the last thing on Earth you want at that specific moment in time, it irks you.

Lately, I’ve been venting about this to a few female friends. Like me, my friends are all professional women in their mid-thirties. Typically, we have no problem being direct about what we want. But dating in your 30s presents a whole new set of issues. Women are told to minimize accomplishments as not to hurt potential dates’ egos.

Finding a boyfriend when you’re deemed “intimidating” is hard, but what if you’re not even looking for one and you come across guys assuming you want them to be your one and only?

“Is there some rampant concern among middle-aged men that all middle-aged women want to settle down and monopolize their time immediately?” writer Vanessa Torre asks.

If you feel this way too, you’re not alone.

A while back, a friend and I had sex. It wasn’t the first time. This has been going on, intermittently, for years. We text regularly, but often after we sleep together his messages to me temporarily taper off.

 


This story originally appeared on Ravishly, a feminist news+culture website.

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