I don’t drink like a man. I drink like a boss.
When it comes to alcohol, I tend to lean toward Amy Schumer‘s drinking preferences – meaning, I like to ensure my house is always fully stocked.
It’s not that I’m a boozehound; far from it. I can go weeks (okay, maybe days) without drinking and not even notice. But tell me I can’t have emergency access to margarita ingredients and I’m likely to run from the room screaming. A good drink (or three) has the ability to make tension-fraught family events bearable, boring friends half-enjoyable and celebrations heightened. It’s also my main accessory of choice when it comes to taking selfies.
But while I don’t endorse casual alcoholism, nothing rubs me the wrong way more than someone saying I “drink like a man” or lack ladylike qualities because I happen to be able to put away a glass of scotch better than the guy beside me. It’s one of the many things every woman who likes to drink is familiar with, including…
1. Your favorite gifts come in bottles.
2. Guys are threatened by the fact that you can drink them under the table.
3. It annoys you when people say women who drink aren’t ladylike.
4. Or tries to insinuate you can’t handle hard liquor because you have a vagina.
5. During the week, you try to stick to just one glass of wine a day.
6. Though you’re not particularly fussy about what kind of vessel it’s served in.
7. You have an impeccable sense of smell when it comes to sniffing out alcohol at any event.
8. So when you show up to a family do and there’s no booze…
9. Which is why you tend to bring back-ups, just in case.
10. You’re usually the one to get the party started.
11. You don’t get the point of juice bars. Aren’t they just cocktails missing vodka?
12. Which is why you tend to stick with people you share your affection for a good drink.
13. And regardless of what you drink, you always do it like a true classy woman.
Images via bitbyafox.com, giphy.com and tumblr.com.
Comment: How often do you drink?
Nadia is a journalist, media commentator and editor with a penchant for hoarding makeup and an opinion on just about everything. Her work has been published in The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cosmopolitan, and many more. She's a passionate advocate for destroying mental health stigma and sexually empowering women, and has absolutely no concept of TMI. Follow Nadia on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.