The short answer is YES! Although Feminism has made major advancements for women, female sexuality has been staggeringly left behind. The double standard of slut vs stud is still thriving. The question we should all be asking ourselves is why?
As little girls, most are taught that their virginity is like a precious commodity, to be saved and savoured, only to be “given away” to the most deserving candidate. Boys, on the other hand, are encouraged to rid themselves of their virginity to the first willing participant. This is true of most cultures and some are extreme. They still kill young girls, who they believe bring shame on their family, due to attitudes and behaviours involving sexual activity. Plus other women, including their mothers, condone this barbaric practice.
It seems time and changes in womens roles haven’t changed this situation. Females are still being persecuted for their sexual behaviour; such as choosing prostitution as a career or having sex with multiple partners. The divide between male and female sexuality is still enormous.
It all comes down to attitudes of women. When women put other women down, they look to their sexual behaviour, amongst other things, to do it. Each time women refer to each other as sluts, whores, tramps or other derogatory names, they are keeping womens sexuality stagnant.
In doing this, they are actually promoting the opinion and belief, that female sexuality should remain in the closet. Men, on the other hand, encourage each others sexual behaviour. They use words, such as those above, as congratulatory, rather than derogatory.
You might be asking yourself, why would women choose to do this? The simple answer is; they aren’t even aware of it. This is what has been taught, like traditional folk law of what is acceptable behaviour for women. We keep each others sexual behaviour in check and anyone behaving outside of what is deemed “acceptable” is belittled, ridiculed and condemned. Mothers teach their daughters to keep their legs shut, if they have any sort of self respect.
Men don’t to do that. Why? Quite simply, because they haven’t been taught by generations before them, that they should discourage each others sexual behaviour. Fathers teach their sons to go and have sex with as many women as possible, but they aren’t the ones you marry. In many cases, this is strongly supported by their mothers.
This divide has been centuries in the making, so no wonder it’s one of the last frontiers of female advancement. Throughout time, women have been bred to believe, we aren’t as sexually inclined as males. This is despite the fact that the sex toy industry is booming and the greatest sales are sex toys, specifically designed for women. Obviously, women are also wanting sex, so something is amiss.
The only way to change it is for women to change their attitudes toward their own sexuality and stop belittling and putting down the sexual choices of other women. If it’s ok for men to be sexually active, why not women?
By Kim Chartres