Myth: only men have wet dreams.
Have you ever woken up hot, sweaty and feeling totally satisfied? Nope, neither have I – but studies have revealed some women do, and it’s all thanks to a beautiful phenomenon known as ‘sleepgasms’.
Reading about the so-far largely unspoken pleasure left me craving where I could meet with my very own sleepgasm, and it turns out it’s all in the way you sleep.
So without further ado, here’s your guide to the good stuff… You’re welcome.
What are they?
In the most basic terms, sleepgasms are wet dreams for women; orgasms you have while you sleep.
Why do we have them?
They arise when something has turned you on mentally in your sleep – but it’s not necessarily linked to having a sexual dream or touching yourself without knowing it.
Since it’s not the easiest thing to identify (we don’t physically come the way guys do when they have theirs), female sleepgasms haven’t been studied a whole lot, but here’s what I’ve found: once you reach REM sleep, heaps of blood flows to your special place, which is exactly what happens when you’re aroused in the real world, leading to the same reaction.
Now stop questioning this and let’s get to the good stuff…
How can we have more of them?
Legend has it – or, rather, some smart people at Hong Kong’s Shue Yan University – sleeping on your stomach will move things along. Apparently it’s all thanks to the fact you get short of breath (a side effect of good sexy time) when you’re in that position. And just so we’re clear, when they refer to ‘shortness of breath’ they aren’t encouraging asphyxiation. Let’s steer away from that for now, okay?
Sex therapist Madeleine Castellanos agrees with the team, but attributes it to a different reason: the fact that by laying on your stomach, there’s more contact between your va-jay-jay and something solid (the bed).
Then there are the opinions of people who’ve successfully sleepgasmed (that’s a word… right?). Writers Stevie Martin and Daisy Buchanan both swear by going to sleep only when you’re really tired – but it’ll only work if you recently had a few incredible orgasms and then they suddenly stopped. Does that make sense? Not really. If you’re like me, it’s either a flood or a drought. Or maybe they mean you should do it the week after a flood, before it creeps into drought territory. Yep, that’s got to be it.
If after all this you’re still not experiencing them, don’t fret – Dr Debby Herbenick, sexual health educator and author of The Coregasm Workout, reveals she notes “higher rates of orgasm among those in their mid to late 20s, 30s and 40s”. Middle age, here we come… literally.
Comment: Have you ever experienced a sleepgasm?