Your sex questions answered!
Sexpert Jo-Anne Baker talks sex fantasies, strip tease and the number one thing you should do in bed!
Q. I have a great sex life with my partner but we’re not very adventurous. What can we do to spice things up a bit?
A. Couples can spice up their relationship through fantasy and sensuality so here are a few ideas:
Dress up and meet your partner at a bar, club or cafe and chat them up taking on new names and persona. Express the playful side and see if your discover something new about your partner by taking on a new role.
Sharing your sexual fantasies can bring a new dimension into play, if you feel embarrassed by this read Nancy Friday’s books on erotic fantasies for men or women.
Learn to do a strip tease for your lover by doing a dance routine, finding music that turns you on, soft lighting and dress up in layers so you are able to undress using the tease as the main theme.
Q. What’s the single most important thing a woman can do to have a great sex life?
A. Having great sex starts with ourselves by feeling turned on and erotic. Often we project onto our partner that they have to turn us on which means that we are always looking outside of ourselves. To feel sexy and sensual, to expand into pleasure and orgasms we need to be able to go inside relax and enjoy, through this we can have great sex without expectation and pressure.
Q. What can I do to overcome the hurt of a past relationship so I can move on?
A. As a sex and relationship therapist I do think that counseling is important because it gives people the opportunity not to carry with them the old patterns that have created the hurt. I have watched many of my clients create successful new relationships without dragging the old pain and hurt with them. It does require a commitment on my clients behalf of wanting to change and to see that the old hurts don’t have to be re-experienced.
Jo-Anne Baker B.A. M.A. C.Psych. is well known as one of Australia’s leading Sex Entrepreneurs Therapist and Educators. Her business The Pleasure Spot was established in 1993 and was the first in Australia to cater to women and couples sexuality, with a mail order product catalogue. www.pleasurespot.com.au